Thursday, November 4, 2004
EXCLUSIVE EPISODE III PICTURES!
That's right, baby! I've got exclusive pictures from the Revenge of the Sith trailer! Remember, you got 'em here at slightlywarped.com! Not at IMDb, not at Dark Horizons, and not from that fatass, Harry Knowels!
Enjoy!
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And finally... the money shot!
Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith opens May 19th, 2005 in theaters everywhere!
Friday, November 5, 2004
QUICK JOKE
A Rabbi and a Priest buy a car together and decide to store it at the Priest's house. One day the Rabbi goes over to use the car and he sees the priest sprinkling water on it. The Rabbi asked, ''Hey, what are you doing?'' The Priest responded, ''I'm blessing the car.'' The Rabbi, not wanting to be left out, grabbed a hacksaw and cut two inches off the tail pipe.
CHECK OUT THE LEGION OF
LAME-ASSES V: I, LOLA
NOW AT LOLA HEADQUARTERS!
COOL LINKS
Bush Watch
Yeah, the neocon facists pulled together and got him re-elected despite
the fact that he's a war criminal and hypocrite, but just because we've
got another four years with this murderer and crook - barring the very
real possibility of impeachment - it doesn't mean we should turn our
backs on him!
Lost-TV
The best new television series this year is Lost, Wednesday Nights on
ABC. If you want to keep up with the latest developments on this
kickass show, check out this website!
And here is the greatest link of them all...
Give something back, you bastards!
THE UPDATES
It's been kind of a slow week, but you know we couldn't let the election go by and not do something about it! Right now, there is a new episode of Justice Squad called "Electile Dysfunction" where the evil Rich E. Mogul is running for president! Can Nightflyer expose him as the criminal he is? Will America vote for him anyway? Find out now with this new episode of Justice Squad!
Finally, at Donner's Movie Reviews, there is a virtual crapload of new movies that have been chopped to pieces by our own cinematically elite and self-important reviewer! This week, check out the new reviews of The Grudge, Taxi, and Shall We Dance? Two were good, one was crap! Which do YOU think it will be?
That's it for this week! Catch you on the flip-flop.
Friday, November 5, 2004
QUICK JOKE
A Rabbi and a Priest buy a car together and decide to store it at the Priest's house. One day the Rabbi goes over to use the car and he sees the priest sprinkling water on it. The Rabbi asked, ''Hey, what are you doing?'' The Priest responded, ''I'm blessing the car.'' The Rabbi, not wanting to be left out, grabbed a hacksaw and cut two inches off the tail pipe.
CHECK OUT THE LEGION OF
LAME-ASSES V: I, LOLA
NOW AT LOLA HEADQUARTERS!
COOL LINKS
Bush Watch
Yeah, the neocon facists pulled together and got him re-elected despite
the fact that he's a war criminal and hypocrite, but just because we've
got another four years with this murderer and crook - barring the very
real possibility of impeachment - it doesn't mean we should turn our
backs on him!
Lost-TV
The best new television series this year is Lost, Wednesday Nights on
ABC. If you want to keep up with the latest developments on this
kickass show, check out this website!
And here is the greatest link of them all...
Give something back, you bastards!
THE UPDATES
It's been kind of a slow week, but you know we couldn't let the election go by and not do something about it! Right now, there is a new episode of Justice Squad called "Electile Dysfunction" where the evil Rich E. Mogul is running for president! Can Nightflyer expose him as the criminal he is? Will America vote for him anyway? Find out now with this new episode of Justice Squad!
Finally, at Donner's Movie Reviews, there is a virtual crapload of new movies that have been chopped to pieces by our own cinematically elite and self-important reviewer! This week, check out the new reviews of The Grudge, Taxi, and Shall We Dance? Two were good, one was crap! Which do YOU think it will be?
That's it for this week! Catch you on the flip-flop.
Friday, November 12, 2004
QUICK JOKE
This guy was sitting in his cubicle one day doing paperwork for his company when he heard a voice out of nowhere. "Quit your job. Sell your house. Take the money. Go to Las Vegas." He was a little freaked out by the mysterious voice, but managed to finish out his day, go home, and go to sleep.
The next day he was in the shower when he heard the voice again. "Quit your job. Sell your house. Take the money. Go to Las Vegas." He ignored it and went to work, but while in the elevator going up to his office, he heard it again. "Quit your job. Sell your house. Take the money. Go to Las Vegas." Later that day, while he was in a meeting, he heard it again. "Quit your job. Sell your house. Take the money. Go to Las Vegas." On the car ride home, he heard it again. "Quit your job. Sell your house. Take the money. Go to Las Vegas." In bed trying to sleep, he heard it again. "Quit your job. Sell your house. Take the money. Go to Las Vegas."
The next day was worse. He started hearing the voice every hour on the hour. "Quit your job. Sell your house. Take the money. Go to Las Vegas." He didn't tell anyone, because he didn't want anyone to think he was crazy. He tried to ignore it, but the voice was persistant... "Quit your job. Sell your house. Take the money. Go to Las Vegas." "Quit your job. Sell your house. Take the money. Go to Las Vegas." "Quit your job. Sell your house. Take the money. Go to Las Vegas."
The next day, he was hearing the voice over and over and over again. It was louder than ever. "Quit your job. Sell your house. Take the money. Go to Las Vegas." "Quit your job. Sell your house. Take the money. Go to Las Vegas." "Quit your job. Sell your house. Take the money. Go to Las Vegas." "Quit your job. Sell your house. Take the money. Go to Las Vegas." "Quit your job. Sell your house. Take the money. Go to Las Vegas."
Finally, the guy snaps. "ALL RIGHT!"
He immediately quits his job, goes out and sells his house, takes the money, buys a plane ticket, and flies off to Las Vegas. After he walks out of the airport and into the Vegas sun, he hears the voice again. "Take your money. Go to Caesar's Palace."
The guy hails a taxi and immediately goes to Caesar's Palace. As soon as he walks into the front door, he hears the voice again. "Go to the roulette tables." The guy runs to the roulette tables. "Go to table 45." The guy runs to table 45. The voice says, "take all your money and bet it on red 21." The guy takes all of his money and puts it on red 21.
The dealer spins the wheel and the ball lands on Black 54.
"FUCK!" yells the voice.
THE UPDATES
Well, the biggest update this week is that, after about fifteen years of ignoring it, I'm finally updating The Great Link with new links, a new format, and tons of new crap. This is going to be something I'm going to be working on over the next few weeks, so if you've got an idea for a link or two to some cool sites, drop me a line!
There's a brand new episode of Justice Squad called "Altitude" which finally explores the mysterious foe of Drew Fangtastic and The Five.
Over at Fun With Photoshop, there's a new gallery that completely bastardizes the wholesome family movie, The Polar Express.
Finally, at Donner's Movie Reviews, check out the new reviews of The Incredibles, Man on Fire, and Surviving Christmas!
And... that's it for this week. Come back next week, dammit.
Friday, November 19, 2004
VERY QUICK JOKE #1
What's the difference between a porcupine and a Ferrari?
Porcupines have pricks on the outside....
VERY QUICK JOKE #2
What do you call an honest, intellectual, law abiding person in the White House?
A tourist.
THE UPDATES
There's a brand new episode of Justice Squad called "Outbreak" where everyone's favorite stupid band of superheroes must fight off something they can't hit... the flu!
Over at Fun with Photoshop, we're picking on the movie, National Treasure!
Finally, on the Movie Review Page, take a look at the new reviews for Ray, Seed of Chucky, and The Polar Express!
Gotta fly! Until next week!
Wednesay, November 24, 2004
QUICK BAD JOKE
One day these two homeless guys were walking through the park when a man in a suit walked up to them, handed one of them a cooked turkey, smiled, and said "Happy Thanksgiving."
Instantly, one of the homeless men grabbed the guy and punched him until he was unconscious.
"What the hell did you do that for?" the other homeless man asked.
"What are you, stupid?" his companion replied, "You expect me to do nothing after he gives you the bird?"
(I deeply apologize. That was the only thanksgiving joke I knew.)
BETTER QUICK JOKE
There is a man who has three girlfriends,
but he does not know which one to marry. So he decides to give each one
$5000 and see how each of them spends it.
The first one goes out and gets a total makeover with the money. She
gets new clothes, a new hairdo, manicure, pedicure, the works, and tells
the man, "I spent the money so I could look pretty for you, because I
love you so much."
The second one went out and bought new golf clubs, a CD player, a
television and a stereo and gives them to the man. She says, "I bought
these gifts for you with the money because I love you so much."
The third one takes the $5000 and invests it in the stock market,
doubles her investment, returns the $5000 to the man and reinvests the
rest. She says, "I am investing the rest of the money for our future
because I love you so much."
The man thought long and hard about how each of the women spent the
money. He finally decided to marry the one with the biggest tits.
EARLY UPDATE
I'm going out of town this weekend, so I'm updating the page today! What does that mean for you besides the fact that you now know there won't be anyone at my house until Sunday and you can rob me blind?
It means a new episode of Justice Squad called "Future Imperfect" where Blue Fairy and his son must fight for their lives in a post-apocalyptic future where the dastardly Rich E. Mogul rules the world!
It means a new gallery at Fun with Photoshop where we pay tribute to Riddick, the patron God of funny photoshopping.
It means that there are two new reviews up on the movie review page for Birth and After the Sunset (they both suck)!
And that's about it! Eat lots of bird carcass and drive safe. There will be updates all next week as we kick off the holiday season here at slightlywarped.com!