EXT. EUROPA - DAY
A strange alien rat silently nibbles away at a cherry like
thing it holds in paws. The scene is quiet, we can hear
nothing and then:
COLOSSAL CHUNK
CHUNK SMASH!!!!
Out of nowhere Chunk's yellow fist slams down on the rat-like
creature crushing it's body flat.
COLOSSAL CHUNK
Chunk smash rat good!!!
FUTURE CHUNK
Me-Chunk smash tree better!
Future Chunk proceeds to knock down a nearby tree towering as
tall as sky scraper.
COLOSSAL CHUNK
CHUNK SMASH!!!
Chunk knocks away another tree just as tall as the first.
Out of nowhere Minute Man #896 materializes and looks around
only to be greeted by:
COLOSSAL CHUNK (CONT'D)
CHUNK SMASH!!!
Colossal Chunk brings down his fist hard on Minute Man #896.
It is obvious his body is badly damaged as he lays flat on
his bad looking at the sky it is obvious many of his bones
are broken in many places.
MINUTE MAN#896
You have GOT to be kidding me.
-----
Got Chunk?
-----
EXT. STONEHENGE RUNES
A set of Stonehenge runes occupies the scene with a orange
sky in which Jupiter is very noticeable.
Future Chunk and Colossal are smashing the scene to bits.
COLOSSAL CHUNK
CHUNK SMASH!!!
Chunk smashes a part of Stonehenge. Future Colossal Chunk
grabs hold one of the stone pillars and smashes it against a
nearby tree, the tree snaps and plummets towards the ground
just Minute Man#897 materializes in it's path, he looks
around just in time for the tree to crush him. Colossal Chunk
also grabs one of the stone pillars causing another part of
the Stongehenge structure to collapse. Minute Man#898
materializes on Future Chunk's head.
COLOSSAL CHUNK (CONT'D)
Chunk smash tiny man!
Colossal Chunk slams down the stone pillar on Future Chunk's
head. Future Chunk turns around oblivious to anything
happening when after a short moment he suddenly smashes
himself in the head with his own fist.
FUTURE CHUNK
Pretty pictures and sounds go away.
COLOSSAL CHUNK
You-chunk?
FUTURE CHUNK
Me-chunk see pretty pictures and sounds
in head but they go away.
COLOSSAL CHUNK
You-chunk hear voices? You-chunk crazy!!
FUTURE CHUNK
CHUNK SMASH!!!
He punches Chunk in the head causing him to fall down.
COLOSSAL CHUNK
Chunk bored.
FUTURE CHUNK
Me-chunk want to find treasure.
COLOSSAL CHUNK
(excited)
Oh!!! Chunk want treasure too!!!
The two trudge off through the snow when suddenly two Minute
Man #899 and Minute Man #900 try running past them but both
Chunk's swing out their fists crushing the two guys where
they stand.
INT. MINUTE MAN'S LAIR
As usual, Minute Men are running everywhere. Minute Man Prime
stands talking to Minute Man #901.
MINUTE MAN PRIME
You mean we've been stopped five times by
Colossal Chunk? He's the most STUPID
member in the entire history of Justice
Squad, he should've been defeated the
first time!!!
MINUTE MAN #901
He's stronger than we remember, but never
fear, 902 has just informed us he has
located the Zeta Eta 3-2-5 molecules.
EXT. EUROPA
Minute Man#902 is furiously pulling a glowing yellow box out
of the snow.
MINUTE MAN #902
Finally, I have succeeded where others
have failed!
COLOSSAL CHUNK
Chunk find treasure!
MINUTE MAN#902
Ah crap.
A yellow fist once again crushes Minute Man's body.
COLOSSAL CHUNK
Me-chunk find pretty treasure!
FUTURE CHUNK
You-chunk show me-Chunk.
COLOSSAL CHUNK
Me-chunk find treasure!
FUTURE CHUNK
You-chunk not as smart as me-chunk! Let
me-chunk have treasure!
COLOSSAL CHUNK
No, you-chunk break treasure!!!
FUTURE CHUNK
CHUNK SMASH!!!
The two chunks begin beating each other up, we pan over to
see Minute Man #903 and Minute Man #904 watching from afar.
MINUTE MAN#904
Those are the molecules that can destroy
an entire solar system aren't they?
The chunks are each grasped a hold of the box and are having
a game of tug of war.
MINUTE MAN#903
We may need help.
Instantly an army of Minute Men appear, headed by Minute
Man#905.
MINUTE MAN#905
Minute men, attack!!!!
They charge through the snow at the two fighting Chunks who
stop and watch them.
FUTURE CHUNK
They want me-chunk's treasure!
COLOSSAL CHUNK
No, tiny men want ME-CHUNK'S TREASURE!
INT. MINUTE MAN'S LAIR
Minute Man #1000 stands in front of Minute Man Prime.
MINUTE MAN#1000
Okay, so the army seemed like a good idea
at the time.
MINUTE MAN PRIME
And?
MINUTE MAN#1000
Well...
EXT. EUROPA
Minute Men bodies litter the snowy field, there is not one
minute man left standing. The Chunks are still fighting over
the "treasure".
FUTURE CHUNK
CHUNK SMASH!!!
He brings down a large ice sculpture of Michelangelo's David
down on Colossal Chunk's head.
COLOSSAL CHUNK
Chunk hide treasure!!!
Chunk grabs the molecules and makes a run for it, while also
throwing various boulders, trees and ice sculptures at Future
Chunk.
INT. MINUTE MAN'S LAIR
Minute Man Prime slams his foot down in anger.
MINUTE MAN PRIME
They'll destroy every thing if we don't
find a way to stop them. Dammit! You!
(points to Minute Man #1001)
Take a duplicate and spend ten years
finding all the information you can on
Colossal Chunk!
Minute Man #1001 grabs a passing Minute Man duplicate and
hits a button on his wrist watch, the two vanish.
INT. A LAB
A geeky scientist in a lab coat and thick glasses, DOCTOR
DICK ST. DICK is working at a lab table. The two Minute Man
appear out of range of Doctor Dick St. Dick's vision.
MINUTE MAN #1002
What is this? I thought we were meant to
be researching Colossal Chunk!
MINUTE MAN #1001
I believe this man is what Colossal Chunk
used to be.
MINUTE MAN #1002
Interesting.
He leans closer to watch and accidentally knocks over a
broom, which falls forward hitting a shelf with a scientific
achievement award statue sitting on it, the statue falls off
the shelf and hits a tap labelled "GAS". As the tap turns it
hits a cigarette lighter which falls and hits a nearby Bunsen
burner, as it hits the Bunsen burner it sparks and the Bunsen
burner lights up. Unbeknowst to Doctor Dick St. Dick's sleeve
catches on fire while he is working at his clipboard.
DOCTOR DICK ST. DICK
(sniffs)
What a curious smell.
He looks down and sees that his arm is on fire.
DOCTOR DICK ST. DICK (CONT'D)
GAH!
He runs to a fire extinguisher, but trips and falls into a
boiling chemical vat. He flops back out of it and
immediately bursts into flames.
DOCTOR DICK ST. DICK (CONT'D)
ARGH!
He flails around igniting several cabinets labeled "CURE FOR
EVERYTHING", "IMMORTALITY SERUM", "SOLUTION FOR WORLD HUNGER"
and "SPAM-MAIL AND POP-UP BLOCKER" which all burn to the
ground. Finally, he falls out the window.
EXT. THE LABRATORY
Doctor Dick St. Dick's flaming body falls out of the
twentieth story window and crashes into a pond labelled
"RADIOACTIVE ACID!". He crawls out, now a burned, broken,
and blackened mess, and wanders into a field labelled
"WARNING: GAMMA RAYS TESTS IN PROGRESS!". He is hit by a
beam of light and falls down face first into the dirt.
DOCTOR DICK ST. DICK
Ow.
INT. A LAB
Minute Man #1002 and Minute Man #1001 stare out the window in
surprise.
MINUTE MAN #1001
Wow, that can't be good.
A lab assistant, DERRICK, wanders up to holding a beer.
DERRICK
Wow, man! That looks totally awesome!
Hey, little dudes, want a beer?
He holds out a beer to them. The two Minute Men look at each
other.
MINUTE MEN
Beer?
INT. DERRICK'S APARTMENT
The place is a total dump, beer cans and bottles litter the
floor and the walls are covered with pictures of nude girls.
Derrick and the two minute men are there, and they are
totally hammered.
MINUTE MAN #1002
I'm telling you, man, when I conquer the
earth, I'm going to make everyone drink
beer!
MINUTE MAN #1001
Dude, we could name a planet beer!
Derrick lets out a giant burp.
MINUTE MAN #1002
I don't think I've ever done anything
cooler than drinking beer before.
DERRICK
Yeah, except sex that is.
MINUTE MAN #1001
I always wondered what sex would be like,
never actually got to try it while
conquering the world, and plotting the
fall of the Justice Squad and all.
DERRICK
Well, just let me make a cool man, I love
you little dudes! He lets out another
giant burp.
INT. MINUTE MEN'S APARTMENT
The place is just as big a dump as Derrick's, beer cans and
various other alcoholic bottles and cigarette packets are
scattered all over the floor. Minute Man #1001 lies on a
waterbed smoking a cigarette, a set of very attractive
triplets are cuddled up next to him. Subtitle reads: "Five
years later..."
MINUTE MAN #1001
Man, this is the life.
The door to the apartment slams shut and Minute Man #1002 is
standing there.
MINUTE MAN #1002
You don't think it's possible that we're
our own ancestor do you?
MINUTE MAN #1001
Not a chance in hell.
Minute Man #1002 suddenly yelps in pain and grasps his
crotch.
MINUTE MAN #1001
What's wrong?
MINUTE MAN #1002
Tell me, did we ever research an ancient
disease called syphilis?
MINUTE MAN #1001
Syphi-what?
INT. MINUTE MAN'S LAIR
The two minute men rematerialise looking ten years older and
as hung over as all hell.
MINUTE MEN PRIME
So tell me, what did you find?
MINUTE MAN #1002
What were we looking for?
MINUTE MAN PRIME
A way to stop Colossal Chunk!
MINUTE MAN #1001
Oh yeah, I remember now. Um...
I may have something.
EXT. EUROPA
The place is a mess, dirt, snow and rubble are all mixed
together. Future Colossal Chunk and Colossal Chunk are still
at rampaging around smashing up the place. Colossal Chunk
wields what looks like a giant ice foot and is smashing it
either side of the molecules.
COLOSSAL CHUNK
CHUNK SMASH TREASURE!! CHUNK
SMASH TREASURE!!!
FUTURE COLOSSAL CHUNK
NO, ME-CHUNK SMASH TREASURE!!!
He slams down a giant ice sculpted hand making an extremely
rude gesture. Minute Man #1002 appears and looks around a bit
dazed, still hung over. He pauses for a moment.
MINUTE MAN #1002
Oh, right!
He pulls out a pocket watch and shows it to the two Chunks.
MINUTE MAN #1002
Look, shiny!
Both Chunks turn to look at him. Minute Man #1001 appears
just as Future Colossal Chunk lets go off his giant sculpted
hand, which then lands on top of Minute Man #1001, but not
before:
MINUTE MAN #1001
Not again.
Minute Man #1003 materialises just to the left of the
discarded hand. He grabs hold of the Zeta 3-2-5 Molecules.
MINUTE MAN #1003
About bloody time.
He presses a button on his watch and vanishes. Colossal Chunk
smashes his fist down on Minute Man #1002 and takes the
watch. He watches for a moment then.
FUTURE CHUNK
Give me-chunk shiny!
COLOSSAL CHUNK
No, my shiny!
FUTURE CHUNK
GIVE ME-CHUNK SHINY!!
COLOSSAL CHUNK
NO, MY-SHINY!
Future Colossal Chunk rears back his fist and hits Colossal
Chunk as hard as he can and sends him into orbit.
EXT. SPACE
Just in orbit of Europa Minute Man #1003 flys a tiny ship
with the Zeta 3-2-5 molecules sitting next to him in the
cockpit. Chunk's body suddenly breaks free of the atmosphere
and smashes right into the tiny ship while then proceeding to
leave the atmosphere and fly towards Earth in the distance.
The Molecules drift slowly through space when suddenly two
Minute Men in spacesuits appear and grab it before
disappearing again.
INT. MINUTE MAN'S LAIR
Minute Man #1004 walks up to Minute Man Prime.
MINUTE MAN #1004
The Zeta 3-2-5 have been recovered and
Colossal Chunk has been incapacitated.
MINUTE MAN PRIME
About time.....er, I mean, good job.
Have the molecules sent to...
(dramatic pause)
...the robot.
MUSIC STING.
FADE OUT.