EXT. THE STREETS OF NEW YORK CITY
The street is in ruins, a fire hydrant spews water in the
background, and a garbage truck has been embedded into the
second story of an office building. POWER MAN is standing
over the fallen body of CAPEMAN as he faces off against
COLOSSAL CHUNK! Power Man is furious.
POWER MAN
(Screaming)
NO, you yellow idiot! The hat goes on
the canary, the mittens go in the subway,
the avocado has too much Lysol, and the
SCUBA DIVER says Nam Rewop!
(a beat)
SON OF A BI--
POOF! Power Man disappears in a puff of red and black smoke.
Sea Man pulls himself out of a crater, looking like he just
went three rounds with a thresher, and looks at Chunk
incredulously.
SEA MAN
How the HELL do you DO that!?
COLOSSAL CHUNK
Chunk make bad man go way again? Aw, bad
man no like Chunk.
ULTRAWOMAN enters frame with a noticeable limp and tends to
Capeman.
ULTRAWOMAN
Capeman, can you hear me?
CAPEMAN
Of course I can hear you. I'm broken,
bleeding, and sore all over, but I'm not
deaf. At least not in both ears.
Ultrawoman helps him up. Capeman moans in pain.
ULTRAWOMAN
Sorry I had to call you in. I know you
were taking some time off with your new
lady friend, but we can't deal with Power
Man by ourselves.
CAPEMAN
No problem. I'd feel like less of a man
if I didn't let him power-kick my ass
every few months.
SEA MAN
And he did! He kicked your ass like a
little bitch, didn't he?
CAPEMAN
He always does.
ULTRAWOMAN
And we always beat him. Just like we'll
beat him next time. Come on, Capeman,
let's get you to the infirmary. Sea Man,
are we forgetting anything?
SEA MAN
Not that I know of.
CAPEMAN
At least we won't have to worry about
Power Man for a while...
SEA MAN
Oh yes... He's consigned to the dimension
of fiction for another 90 days, isn't he?
Good, I do not like the man. He is rude
and he punches me way too much. Also,
his hair is very greasy and, if I didn't
know any better, I'd swear he smells like
Easter Egg coloring.
ULTRAWOMAN
Don't be a retard. Why would he smell
like Easter Egg coloring?
Sea Man and Ultrawoman help Capeman off camera. The camera
tilts up to reveal WOLFMAN tied up with from torn electrical
lines hanging upside down in a tree.
WOLFMAN
Uh... help?
CUT TO:
INT. THE DIMENSION OF FICTION
It's a land of green grass, dancing cartoon trees, and a
psychedelic tie-dyed sky. POWER MAN appears in a puff of
smoke. THE EASTER BUNNY bounces by.
POWER MAN
--TCH!
EASTER BUNNY
Ha! Power Man, you stupid son of a
bitch! They sent you back again, didn't
they? Man, what an idiot! Who the hell
can be stupid enough to be tricked into
saying his own name backwards!? Nah,
yuk, yuk, yuk, yuk!
POWER MAN
Away with you and your incessant mocking
of me, Easter Bunny! You mark my words,
when I get back to Earth, Justice Squad
will have HELL TO PAY!!!
EASTER BUNNY
Yeah, okay, you gigantic douche. Until
then your stuck here and there's nothing
you can do about...
POOF! Power Man disappears.
EASTER BUNNY (CONT'D)
...it.
(He looks around)
Oh now, come on! What kind of a fag
disappears with a "poof!" sound effect?
INT. NILREM'S CASTLE
POWER MAN appears with a "POOF!" He looks around in shock.
POWER MAN
What IS this? This isn't the dimension
of fiction!? This is... This is EARTH!
(he looks)
Who ARE you, little one?
The camera angles to reveal LIANA sitting in her father's
throne. She stands and walks towards him.
LIANA
My name is Liana... and let's just say
that you ain't never had a friend like
me.
POWER MAN
Oh, please... What can a little girl do
for the mighty Power Man?
LIANA
(Smiles)
I can make it so that you can stay
here... Forever.
Power Man raises an eyebrow and smiles.
MUSIC STING!
--------------------------------------------------------------
JUSTICE SQUAD
Episode 4.04
"Power Play"
Written by Jason Donner
Not to be confused with the Justice Squad Alternative Lifestyle Bar in Vancouver, BC.
--------------------------------------------------------------
EXT. DONNER'S MANSION
Birds are singing, the wind is whistling.
ULTRABABY (O.C.)
NO CLOWN! NO!
CRASH! Bippo the Clown flies out of the third story window
and lands on the ground with a great big thud. He gets up,
dusts himself off, and then walks back inside.
INT. ULTRABABY'S NURSURY
ULTRABABY is sitting in the middle of the room as BIPPO THE
CLOWN opens the doors with both hands.
BIPPO THE CLOWN
All right, that stopped being funny after
the third or fourth time. Now, you
listen to me, little missy. Your mommy
wanted me to baby-sit you and, By Zues
beard, I'm going to do just that! Now,
prepare to be sat like you've never been
sat before!
Ultrababy's eyes narrow.
EXT. DONNER'S MANSION
As before, everything is quiet and peaceful for a moment.
Suddenly, there is a bright red light from the nursury window
accompanied by a Zap and sizzle sound. We also hear a girly
Bippo scream.
INT. ULTRABABY'S NURSURY
The entire side of the room is now blackened and burned with
the exception of Bippo's silhouette on the wall. Bippo
himself, however, wasn't so lucky as it looks like he bore
the full brunt of the assault. He coughs producing a circle
of black smoke.
INT. THE CONFERENCE ROOM
ULTRAWOMAN is sitting there sipping a cup of coffee. MONKEY
CHOKER is sitting across from her eating a cream-filled donut
and getting it all over his face.
MONKEY CHOKER
You left her with BIPPO!?
ULTRAWOMAN
I wouldn't worry about him hurting
Zalika.
MONKEY CHOKER
It's not Zalika I'm worried about. Good
Lord, she's going to chew him up and spit
him out like a mouthful of strained peas.
ULTRAWOMAN
Don't be silly. You don't chew strained
peas. Besides, I always said I'd get
even with him for that extra ingredient
he put in the Superhero Caucus Punch and,
what better way to seek out said
vengeance than to make him sit on that
force of nature I call my daughter?
Besides, with me busy and Donner in the
hospital, it works out for all of us.
MONKEY CHOKER
How is Donner, by the way?
ULTRAWOMAN
Rude, surly, and obsessive about how much
his hospital bill is going to be.
MONKEY CHOKER
Same old Donner. Well, I think that
Justice Squad is in good hands while he
gets better.
Ultrawoman smiles at him.
ULTRAWOMAN
Thanks, Monkey Choker. I appreciate
these talks.
MONKEY CHOKER
No problem.
His watch starts beeping a midi version of the theme to
"Lancelot Link." He looks at it.
MONKEY CHOKER (CONT'D)
I have to go! There's a simian uprising
in Tokyo.
ULTRAWOMAN
You need help?
MONKEY CHOKER
No, I'm good. Thanks, though!
Monkey Choker runs towards the front door and crashes into it
when it doesn't budge. He looks up, sees a sign that says
"PLEASE USE OTHER DOOR," slaps his forehead, and then runs
out the other door.
INT. DONNER'S HOSPITAL ROOM
CAPEMAN is visiting Donner. Donner is lying in bed, but he's
doing rehab lifting weights with his legs.
DONNER
...and then they said I couldn't have any
more morphine. I ask you, Joe, what's so
wrong about drinking it with a straw? It
wasn't even a big straw. It was one of
those coffee straws that turn your nuts
blew when you try and get liquid through
it.
CAPEMAN
Have they said when you're getting out?
DONNER
Eh, a week or two I think. Either until
they can determine the extent of the
damage or my insurance runs out.
Speaking of hospitals, you look like you
could probably use one. What, did you
touch Colossal Chunk's lava lamp again?
CAPEMAN
Power Man.
DONNER
Oh crap! I hope Chunk took care of him
for you.
CAPEMAN
(Sour)
He did.
DONNER
Oh, Good. Can't have him killing you
horribly again. That would suck.
CAPEMAN
Yeah, it would.
Capeman's watch begins to beep. He looks at it.
DONNER
What is that? Is it time for Cheetoes?
CAPEMAN
No, it's the Justice Squad emergency
band.
(A beat)
Cheetoes?
(Shakes it off)
I'd better get to the manor.
DONNER
Please use the...
Capeman takes off and crashes through the window.
DONNER (CONT'D)
...door. Well, that's another thousand
tacked onto my bill.
INT. DONNER'S MANSION
ULTRABABY is sitting on the floor looking at something. She
has a peeved look on her face as the camera angels around to
reveal a PUPPET STAGE. There are two puppets, one a guy and
the other a girl. Both are wearing diving suits. There is
also a shark fin in the water.
BIPPO THE CLOWN
(Talking for the girl puppet)
Oh God! The boat has left us and there
are sharks everywhere!
(as the boy puppet)
Something just brushed against my leg!
(as girl puppet)
Oh my God!
(as shark)
Grrrrrrrrrr yum, yum, yum, yum!
(as boy puppet)
Arrrrrrrrrrrrrgh! It just bit my leg
off! ACK!
The boy puppet "drowns" as Bippo makes all kind of gagging
noises.
BIPPO THE CLOWN (CONT'D)
(as girl puppet)
Oh no! My husband is dead and I know I'm
screwed. Oh, to hell with it.
The girl puppet "drowns". More shark puppets converge on the
girl puppet's position and Bippo makes the appropriate sound
effects.
BIPPO THE CLOWN (CONT'D)
(as girl puppet)
Arrrrgh! Ow! Ahhhhh!
(as shark)
Munch, munch, munch, gobble, gobble,
gobble. BURP!
Bippo stands. He still has the puppets on his hands.
BIPPO THE CLOWN (CONT'D)
And THAT is the reenactment of the most
boring movie I ever saw.
He bows. Ultrababy grabs him by the eyebrows.
BIPPO THE CLOWN (CONT'D)
Oh God.
Bippo is yanked off his feet and thrown into a wall.
ULTRABABY
BAD CLOWN! NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!
INT. THE CONFERENCE ROOM
Capeman throws both doors open and steps inside.
CAPEMAN
What's going on? Where's the emergency?
The camera moves to reveal POWER MAN. He is standing in the
middle of the room and, around him, WOLFMAN, QUASAR,
ULTRAWOMAN, NIGHTFLYER, LUNA, COSMIC WEASEL, DEVOUR, SEA MAN,
IVY, and COLOSSAL CHUNK are all seated in chairs with some
kind of magical bonding spell circling around them like rope.
POWER MAN
You found it.
CAPEMAN
Power Man!
POWER MAN
Good memory.
CAPEMAN
How the hell can you be here? You've
been banished to the world of fiction for
90 days!
POWER MAN
Really? Well, I guess I should get back
there, then.
(he leans on Chunk's shoulder)
Colossal Chunk, tell me, what is the one
thing that will send me back to my own
dimension?
COLOSSAL CHUNK
Guh... You go bye-bye if you gargle salt
water and spin in circles?
POWER MAN
No.
COLOSSAL CHUNK
D'aaaah... You dress up in dog costume
and jump in river?
POWER MAN
No!
COLOSSAL CHUNK
You hit self in head with wet tuna fish
and watch Smurfs?
POWER MAN
NO! I GO BACK IF I SAY NAM REWOP! NAM
REWOP!
A beat... nothing happens.
COLOSSAL CHUNK
No, that not it.
ULTRAWOMAN
He's not disappearing!
POWER MAN
And they say Nightflyer is the detective
of the group. Yes, Justice Squad, it's
true... Power Man is here to stay and
he's here to slay. Those magical bonds
will keep all of you from using your
powers to get away while I slowly kill
each of you.
SEA MAN
What? Why!?
POWER MAN
Because I hate every single one of you.
(a beat, to Ivy)
Except you. You I'm really just
ambivalent towards.
IVY
Cool. Can I go?
POWER MAN
No.
IVY
Dammit.
SEA MAN
Oh, way to be a team player, Ivy.
IVY
Well, I WAS going to go get help, ass!
POWER MAN
And I WAS going let you live, but now I'm
not.
IVY
THANK you Artie, you bastard!
CAPEMAN
No! Leave them alone! It's me you want.
(a beat)
Right?
POWER MAN
You, Capeman... you I hate most of all.
I hate you like... I don't know...
Something really hates something else
that really pisses him off.
WOLFMAN
Wow, your metaphors suck.
POWER MAN
Yeah? Well... So does your mom!
WOLFMAN
My mom's dead, dude.
POWER MAN
Oh, terribly sorry.
CAPEMAN
(To Power Man)
Take me on. Leave them alone.
POWER MAN
All right... I suppose we could arrange a
fight high noon or something. On the
other hand...
Power Man reaches over and pulls an ENTIRE SUPPORT BEAM off a
wall and smacks Capeman with it like a baseball bat. Capeman
flies into the wall and crashes outside.
POWER MAN (CONT'D)
...we could just start now.
EXT. THE STREETS OF NEW YORK CITY
Capeman skids to a stop on the street, after knocking over a
dozen or so cars. Power Man is already standing behind him
by the time he gets up.
POWER MAN
All the pain... all the humiliation you
put me through. I'm going to take it out
of your ass today and there's nothing you
can do to stop it.
Power Man goes to kick Capeman, but Capeman grabs his leg and
tosses him into another lane of the street where an 18
Wheeler slams into him.
It's as if the 18-wheeler hit a brick wall. The front grill
crumples around Power Man and the truck shatters around him.
Power Man doesn't move... in fact, he doesn't seem phased by
it at all. He pushes the truck backwards and it rolls down
the street. People run away terrified as the truck explodes.
Capeman, in the meantime runs up behind Power Man and strikes
him across the back. This time, Power Man feels it. He
takes a couple of steps forward and then, with lightning
speed, give Capeman a kick to the upper chest. Capeman goes
flying.
EXT. THE SKY
Capeman flies into view and, as before, Power Man is already
there waiting for him. He clobbers Capeman and sends him
back down to Earth.
EXT. CENTRAL PARK
Capeman hits the ground and rolls to his side. Power Man
lands next to him and walks over.
POWER MAN
Where's your friends now, Capeman? Where
is that little pep squad of yours to come
and save you?
Power Man kicks him again. Capeman flies into a nearby pond.
Power Man walks out into the water and picks him up by his
collar.
POWER MAN (CONT'D)
Face it, Capeman. This is going to end
just like it ended last time we
tangoed... and then I'm going to find
that pretender who beat me last time and
I'm going to do the same thing to him
that I did to you. Oh, and then I'm
going to kill all of your Justice Squad
friends.
(a beat)
Who's your favorite singer?
CAPEMAN
Uh... I kinda like George Strait.
POWER MAN
Well, I'm going to kill him too. But
first, I'm going to take care of you.
Capeman suddenly hits Power Man in the crotch with something.
POWER MAN (CONT'D)
What the...?
We see it's a SNAPPING TURTLE. The turtle obediently snaps
on to Power Man's dangly bits. Power Man howls in pain and
anger as he runs over to a tree and starts banging his crotch
up against it.
Capeman stumbles out of the pond holding a large gash on his
forehead shut. A couple of people who have been watching the
fight run over to help him.
PASSERBY #1
Capeman!
PASSERBY #2
Now's your chance, Capeman! Go get him!
Capeman looks at the passerbys and then at Power Man who is,
by now, frantically pulling at the turtle.
POWER MAN
WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU, CAPEMAN...!!!
Capeman looks at the passerbys again and, without a word,
takes off into the sky like a rocket.
POWER MAN (CONT'D)
Wait a minute... a have heat vision.
Power Man uses his heat vision on the turtle.
THE PASSERBYS
Both of the passerbys are looking up into the sky with looks
of shock and possibly disgust. Power Man walks up between
them holding the turtle shell. The inside of it is smoking.
Power Man rubs his crotch for a moment, still in obvious
pain, and then hands the shell to one of the passerbys.
POWER MAN (CONT'D)
Here, have some turtle soup.
(a beat)
What are we looking at?
PASSERBY #1
Capeman just took off!
PASSERBY #2
Yeah, that little pansy ran away!
PASSERBY #1
I hate Capeman!
PASSERBY #2
I hate him more!
PASSERBY #1
No, I hate him more!
PASSERBY #2
I HATE HIM MORE!!!
PASSERBY #1
BULLHONKERY!
Passerby 1 & 2 get into a fistfight. One of them starts
beating the other with the turtle shell.
POWER MAN
Hmmm... it appears that I will not have
to kill Capeman after all. Perhaps I
will let him live... AS A GIGANTIC WUSS!
PASSERBY #2
OH GOD! IT BURNS! IT'S DELICIOUSLY HOT!
MUSIC STING!
FADE OUT.
--------------------------------------------------------------
COMMERCIAL BREAK
ANNOUNCER
You loved Chef Gordon Ramsley in Hell's
Kitchen.
GORDON RAMSLEY
You're WORTHLESS as a cook and WORTHLESS
as a human being!
COOK
But you said medium rare!
The cook runs away crying.
ANNOUNCER
Now you'll love newspaper advice
columnist Heloise from Hints from Heloise
in... HELL'S LAUNDRY ROOM!
HELOISE
Pay attention. This is how you fold a
shirt.
ANNOUNCER
HELL'S LAUNDRY ROOM! If you can't stand
the heat... get out of the kitchen, but
for God's sake STAY OUT OF THE LAUNDRY
ROOM TOO!
HELOISE
This looks like horsesh*t. Who put this
in the dryer without checking for stains?
CONTESTANT
I did, ma'am.
Heloise smacks him with the shirt.
HELOISE
ALWAYS! ALWAYS! ALWAYS CHECK FOR
STAINS, YOU STUPID F**KER!!!
ANNOUNCER
HELL'S LAUNDRY ROOM... in the same vein
as SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE... only
dumber.
HELOISE
Not possible.
ANNOUNCER
Quiet, you! ON FOX!!!
--------------------------------------------------------------
INT. THE CONFERENCE ROOM
Power Man flies in through the window with a somewhat
satisfied look on his face.
POWER MAN
Well, that was easy.
COSMIC WEASEL
Oh God! You killed him!
POWER MAN
Please, if I did he'd only come back...
probably after some large adventure that
would be told in several chapters if it
was part of a serial or something. No, I
did worse than kill Capeman... I
humiliated him. I made him run away like
a Frenchman startled by a loud noise.
QUASAR
He'll be back, you douche.
POWER MAN
Don't call me a douche. And he won't be
back.
QUASAR
Will to, douche.
POWER MAN
Will not. And don't call me that.
A long silence.
QUASAR
Douche.
POWER MAN
YOU FILTHY BASTARD!
Power Man picks Quasar up by his shoulder. Quasar screams
with pain.
POWER MAN (CONT'D)
I am going to tear you apart piece by
piece you big blue idiot.
He throws him down.
POWER MAN (CONT'D)
I'm going to tear every single one of you
limb from limb and Capeman will have to
live with that knowing that he could have
tried to save you, but didn't. THAT will
be my greatest revenge.
LUNA
Couldn't you settle for just killing HIM?
ULTRAWOMAN
Luna!
LUNA
I'm just asking!
INT. DONNER'S MANSION
Ultrababy is sitting in the middle of the room. Bippo enters
with a tray of baby food.
BIPPO THE CLOWN
Hello? Future milk carton portrait? Are
you in here?
ULTRABABY
CLOWN BAD!
BIPPO THE CLOWN
No, no, no, no, no! Clown good! Look!
Clown bring food!
Bippo sits the tray on the ground and pushes it towards
Ultrababy with his foot.
BIPPO THE CLOWN (CONT'D)
See? Your Uncle Bippo has brought num
nums!
ULTRABABY
Num nums?
BIPPO THE CLOWN
Yeah, num nums!
Ultrababy stands shakily and walks over to the food. She
picks up the jars and puts them in her mouth without opening
them.
BIPPO THE CLOWN (CONT'D)
Hey, uh... I need to open those.
Bippo tries to grab one out of Ultrababy's mouth, but the
toddler won't have it. She clamps her mouth shut and we hear
glass breaking.
BIPPO THE CLOWN (CONT'D)
SWEET MOTHER OF F**KER!!!
Bippo tries to pry Ultrababy's mouth open. Ultrababy bites
his finger and won't let go.
BIPPO THE CLOWN (CONT'D)
GAH! NOT GOOD! NOT GOOD!
Ultrababy starts shaking her head throwing Bippo around like
a rag doll.
EXT. THE MONKEYDOME
The headquarters of MONKEY CHOKER is, strangely enough, a
large dome-shaped building with a cartoony illustration of a
cartoon dead monkey on it.
INT. THE MONKEYDOME
The Monkeydome is a large enclosed artificial rain forest.
The ground is littered with throttled monkeys. MONKEY CHOKER
and JACK McKINSEY are standing on the opposite side of a
clearing CAPEMAN, sitting in a chair staring into space.
JACK
...and he's just been sitting there the
whole time? He knows that Power Man has
all of Justice Squad hostage, right?
MONKEY CHOKER
I briefed him on the situation, but he
just sat there. I think he's had a break
down.
Jack walks over to Capeman.
JACK
Hey, uh... Capeman? It's me. Jack
McKinsey. You know, the new Blue Fairy
only I don't want to be called Blue
Fairy?
Capeman doesn't say anything.
JACK (CONT'D)
Okay, look... The only members of Justice
Squad who are not being held hostage by
either a super-powered baby or
Ultrawoman's kid are right here and we
have to stop him. How do we do that?
Capeman looks at him.
CAPEMAN
You can't.
MONKEY CHOKER
I refuse to believe that... after all,
Power Man is just another primate to me
and you know what I do to primates,
right?
JACK
Capeman, we have to...
MONKEY CHOKER
I choke them.
A beat.
JACK
We know. Capeman, you have to snap out
of it. How does this all end?
CAPEMAN
Power Man kills me and I die horribly
ever after. That's how it ends.
MONKEY CHOKER
I think I know what's going on here.
You're invulnerable, strong, and loved by
all... yet Power Man represents the one
thing on Earth that can hurt you... that
has hurt you.
CAPEMAN
He didn't just hurt me, he killed me. I
can still remember hearing my ribs snap
like little twigs when he punched me.
MONKEY CHOKER
You're afraid of him.
Capeman nods.
MONKEY CHOKER (CONT'D)
Good.
JACK
Yeah, Good. Good? What do you mean,
good?
MONKEY CHOKER
Fear keeps you alive. It warns you of
danger and keeps you from taking stupid
risks. Fear is your friend, Capeman.
CAPEMAN
Fear is my friend?
MONKEY CHOKER
Yeah. I saw it on Star Trek once.
You're used to just barging in with fists
flying, but your fear is telling you that
you can't win this time... not with brute
force. You have to beat him another way.
You have to out think him.
CAPEMAN
Oh GOD, I'm doomed!
JACK
Not necessarily... You've still got us.
A beat.
CAPEMAN
Oh GOD, I'm REALLY doomed!
MONKEY CHOKER
Perhaps not... I have a plan.
FADE TO:
EXT. THE JUSTICE SQUAD MANOR
Reporters, firetrucks, and police cars are huddled outside.
The camera finds CHIP BEAVERMILK talking to a camera.
CHIP BEAVERMILK
President Mogul has vowed to use whatever
force he can to save Justice Squad from
this hostage situation, but at this time
we are unsure if all of Justice Squad is
still alive. Reports from spotters and
snipers on the buildings surrounding the
manor have confirmed that Capeman and
perhaps three other members of Justice
Squad are missing at this time.
INT. THE CONFERENCE ROOM
POWER MAN is looking down at the gathering crowd.
POWER MAN
Oh good, C-Span and Comedy Central are
here. I think that's a pretty good crowd
to instill terror in by executing all of
you on live television. Who wants to be
first?
WOLFMAN
Whatever you do, don't kill me on MTV.
They'll just interrupt it with a bunch of
screaming teenagers wanting to hear Usher
or something.
POWER MAN
YOU WAIT YOUR TURN!
He picks up Quasar.
POWER MAN (CONT'D)
You die first.
QUASAR
Oh good. I hate long waits.
POWER MAN
I think it will be particularly ironic
for the flying alien to die by falling,
don't you?
QUASAR
Well, I...
POWER MAN
Bored now.
Power Man chunks Quasar out the window. Justice Squad
screams.
ULTRAWOMAN
QUASAR!
We hear a crash and a car alarm going off. The whole of
Justice Squad looks shocked as if the entire incident has
suddenly taken on a darker meaning.
POWER MAN
Well, that was fun. Who wants to visit
the surface of the moon without a space
suit?
QUASAR (O.C.)
Who wants to eat me?
Power Man turns and sees...
QUASAR and CAPEMAN
They are standing in the window. Capeman is holding Quasar
under his arm.
CAPEMAN
Any of you guys drive a red Ford Focus?
IVY
I do.
CAPEMAN
Sorry, I sort of dropped a chair on it.
IVY
Dang.
POWER MAN
CAPEMAN!
CAPEMAN
No sh*t.
POWER MAN
in underestimated you. I thought you
were a coward, but now I see that you are
just stupid.
CAPEMAN
Oh, shut up you little girl. You and me.
Let's finish this right now.
Capeman puts up his dukes and drops Quasar.
QUASAR
Oof!
CAPEMAN
Sorry.
POWER MAN
All right, let's finish this.
CAPEMAN
Then catch me, you little pontificating
candy-ass.
Capeman flies off.
POWER MAN
Pontificating?
NIGHTFLYER
It means you talk too much.
POWER MAN
What? I don't talk too much.
LUNA
Please, you're wordier than a Dragonball
Z script.
POWER MAN
That SON OF A...
Power Man takes off. Seconds later, the door bursts open and
Jack and Monkey Choker enters.
JACK
Hey guys.
COSMIC WEASEL
Thank God you guys are here, Jack.
JACK
Not Jack anymore.
Jack takes out the wand and shoots a blast of energy at the
magical bonds. All of them disappear.
JACK (CONT'D)
Call me Blue Wizard.
MONKEY CHOKER
Who wants to have fun?
EXT. THE SKY
Capeman is flying at super-sonic speed. Behind him, we see
POWER MAN catching up. Capeman angles down and heads for the
surface. Power Man follows.
EXT. THE OCEAN
Capeman and Power Man are screaming just a couple of feet off
the surface of the water creating a huge wake behind them.
Power Man is getting closer and closer and closer when,
suddenly, COSMIC WEASEL is running up next to Power Man.
COSMIC WEASEL
'Sup?
Cosmic Weasel spatters a bucket of black goo in Power Man's
face. Power Man screams and veers out of control, hitting
the water.
EXT. THE OCEAN
Power Man skips across the water like a stone. He hits a
coast and continues to bounce across the surface.
EXT. A DESERT
Power Man crashes into the sand clawing at his eyes. The
black goop is like tar and he's having a hard time getting it
off. He looks up just in time to see a dark shadow overtake
him.
INT. SQUAD-WING ONE
NIGHTFLYER is at the controls of the aircraft.
NIGHTFLYER
Open wide, asshole.
EXT. THE DESERT
SQUAD WING ONE unleashes a torrent of missiles, machine guns,
lasers, and other weapons on Power Man. Power Man flies
backwards at the assault.
POWER MAN
Power Man gets to his feet. The black goo clings to his
face, but he can see now.
POWER MAN
I am goin to... ARGH!
Electricity strikes him and takes him into the air.
THE SKY
Power Man is surrounded by crackling energy. IVY's face
forms out of the bolts and glares at him.
IVY
Capeman said that I could only fry you a
little bit. Call me an overachiever, you
poofy bastard.
Ivy releases him. Ultrawoman swoops in and catches Ivy, but
lets Power Man fall to the ground.
COLOSSAL CHUNK
CHUNK is looking into the air. CAPEMAN is hovering nearby.
CAPEMAN
All right, Chunk. Just like I said.
COLOSSAL CHUNK
Chunk not forget.
Power Man falls towards Chunk.
POWER MAN
Oh... NO!
COLOSSAL CHUNK
CHUNK SMASH!
Colossal Chunk rears back and hits Power Man right before he
hits the ground, rocketing him back up into the sky.
EXT. THE OCEAN
Power Man lands in the ocean and is immediately smacked by a
large WHALE FLUKE. The whale surfaces as Power Man skips
across the water revealing that SEA MAN is riding its back.
Sea Man's artificial hand morphs into a grapple and fires at
Power Man, wrapping around his ankle. Sea Man yanks the
grapple rope, yanking Sea Man back down into the water and
into a circle of great whites.
Power Man explodes out of the water, with a Great White still
attached to his leg. Quasar flies by and zaps Power Man in
the back with a large dose of Cosmic Energy from his stick.
Power Man tumbles back down to Earth.
Power Man hits the Earth which seems to explode. Fire
billows up from where he hit. The camera zooms back to
reveal Luna leaning on Cosmic Weasel admiring the explosion.
LUNA
...and you said I'd never get any use
from those mines I wanted last Christmas.
Power Man, his costume all ripped up and his skin cut and
bruised, pulls himself out of the crater caused by the
explosion. He looks up as two pair of legs stand over him.
It's WOLFMAN and ULTRAWOMAN. They look at each other.
ULTRAWOMAN
May I?
WOLFMAN
Ladies first.
Ultrawoman kicks Power Man in the stomach sending him into
the air. The picture suddenly cranks into slow motion as
Wolfman executes a perfect roundhouse kick and sends Power
Man hurtling backwards.
POWER MAN
The villain is lying on the ground, broken and bleeding.
Justice Squad converges around him, all at the ready.
Capeman steps out in front and motions for them to stand
back.
CAPEMAN
Had enough, Power Man?
Power Man backhands Capeman and, before Capeman lands, he's
got his hands at his throat.
POWER MAN
You're pathetic. Couldn't face me alone,
so you got your friends to soften me up?
I didn't feel a thing and, when I'm done
with you, you little weakling, I'm going
to kill each and every single...
Capeman socks Power Man in the face, sending his nemesis
backpedaling, holding his nose, and crying in pain and fury.
Capeman rockets forward and lands a perfect punch on Power
Man's chin, knocking a tooth out.
CAPEMAN
You think I'm weak because I relied on my
friends?
Capeman hits him again. Power Man shakily tries to stand.
CAPEMAN (CONT'D)
They're my greatest strength and it's a
power you will never know.
Capeman hits him again. Power Man falls to his knees but
starts to rise again.
CAPEMAN (CONT'D)
Two years I've been terrified of you.
You beat me...
He punches him again.
CAPEMAN (CONT'D)
Humiliated me.
He punches him again.
CAPEMAN (CONT'D)
Threatened me.
He punches him again.
CAPEMAN (CONT'D)
Threatened my friends.
He punches him again. Power Man is now on all fours and it's
obvious that he's going to loose the fight.
CAPEMAN (CONT'D)
You want to talk power? I've got
Power... And Power Man?
He picks him up by his collar.
CAPEMAN (CONT'D)
I am not afraid of you anymore.
Capeman swings and punches him again. Power Man flies
backwards into a rock face. Boulders crash down on top of
him.
POWER MAN
Nam... Nam rewop. Nam Rewop! Oh,
Hell... that's right...
(He coughs)
I'll get you next time, Capeman.
Power Man flies off into the setting sun. Ultrawoman and the
other members of Justice Squad run up to Capeman.
ULTRAWOMAN
Capeman... You beat him. You actually
beat Power Man.
He looks at her and smiles.
CAPEMAN
You say that as if there was a doubt.
EXT. THE JUSTICE SQUAD MANOR
A normal day.
INT. THE CONFERENCE ROOM
ULTRAWOMAN, CAPEMAN, NIGHTFLYER, COLOSSAL CHUNK, COSMIC
WEASEL, LUNA, DEVOUR, SEA MAN, IVY, WOLFMAN, QUASAR, and BLUE
WIZARD (the new hero identity of Jack McKinsey) are there.
Blue Wizard is basically Jack in civilian clothes, only with
a blue shirt. MONKEY CHOKER is also present.
ULTRAWOMAN
Good, we're all here. We can begin.
First of all, everyone, let's officially
welcome our newest member... Blue Wizard.
Wolfman slaps Jack on the back.
WOLFMAN
Your dad would be proud.
BLUE WIZARD
I hope so.
ULTRAWOMAN
Even though we were all there, a special
congratulations goes out to Capeman for
his defeat of Power Man.
CAPEMAN
Don't congratulate me yet. He's still
out there and he's probably going to want
some payback.
LUNA
And how do you feel about that?
CAPEMAN
(Thinks for a minute)
Bring him on. I beat him this time, WE
can do it again.
ULTRAWOMAN
And finally, a super big thank you to
Monkey Choker for his terrific attack
plan.
MONKEY CHOKER
Please, I'm only here to help.
QUASAR
Don't be modest. You were awesome, dude.
MONKEY CHOKER
I think all of us were awesome.
ULTRAWOMAN
We're a good team, that's for sure.
NIGHTFLYER
Speaking of team... Where's Bippo?
SEA MAN
(Horrified)
Oh my God! You didn't leave him
with...!?
MUSIC STING!
INT. DONNER'S MANSION
The nursury is a mess. Scorch marks, overturned furniture,
and a broken water pipe. Ultrababy is sitting on the floor
next to a wall. An exhausted and torn up BIPPO sits down
next to her. Ultrababy looks at him and scowls. She picks
up a board and gets ready to smack him with it.
BIPPO THE CLOWN
Wait, okay? Just wait!
Ultrababy glares at him.
BIPPO THE CLOWN (CONT'D)
Look, I know you don't like me... but
c'mon! We're both cute, we're both
lovable, and both of us believe that it's
perfectly acceptable to poop whenever and
where ever we want. They two of us?
We're kindred spirits.
Ultrababy's eyebrows go up. She seems to understands what he
means. She drops the board.
BIPPO THE CLOWN (CONT'D)
I'm not saying that we have to be
friends... just that we shouldn't be
trying to kill each other. Mentally,
we're both equals and, as equals, I think
that we should be watching each other's
backs. What do you say? Friends?
Ultrababy smiles at him, laughs, and then places a crayon in
his hand.
BIPPO THE CLOWN (CONT'D)
A present for me? Aw, thank you!
Ultrababy stands up and toddles out of the room. Bippo
watches her go.
BIPPO THE CLOWN (CONT'D)
Yep, all I needed was time to win that
little rugrat over. I have a feeling
that this is the beginning of a
beautiful...
ULTRAWOMAN (O.C.)
BIPPO! WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE!?
Bippo turns around. Unseen to Bippo but seen to us, the wall
is covered with squiggly crayon marks.
ULTRAWOMAN'S POV
Bippo is sitting alone, with a crayon in his hand in front of
a wall that has been knocked over. The room has been burned
and destroyed. Water pours out of a pipe above.
BIPPO THE CLOWN
(Oblivious)
What?
FADE OUT:
THE END