EXT: LAS VEGAS NATIONAL BANK - DAY
The bank is surrounded by police cars and helicopters.

INT. LAS VEGAS NATIONAL BANK
The bank patrons and staff are sitting up against the wall as a supervillian
in a black and white striped skunk costume paces back and forth.  He is
SKUNKMAN.  As he walks by, we see LIAM SMITH and MISTER HILTER seated on the
floor.

		HILTER
	Great idea, Liam.  "Let's go to the bank, Mister Hitler.  
	I'm SURE that we'll have NO PROBLEM getting you a loan 
	to fix up the apartments!"  You call THIS no problem!?

		LIAM
	Hey, how is this my fault?

		HILTER
	I have no idea, but I'm sure it is... somehow.

Skunkman storms over to them.

		SKUNKMAN
	Quiet, you, or you shall face the wrath of SKUNKMAN!

		LIAM
	Believe me, Mister Skunkman sir, I don't want to face 
	that!

		SKUNKMAN
	Be quiet or I'll take that smugness and shove it 
	RIGHT UP YOUR...

The phone rings.  

		SKUNKMAN
	'Cuse me for a second.

		LIAM
	Darn it, he's going to keep me in suspense!  Where was 
	he going to shove it!?

Skunkman answers the phone.

		SKUNKMAN
	Hello?

		PIGGY
		(on phone)
	This is Police Chief Piggy.

		SKUNKMAN
	Forget the formalities, Chief Piggy!  Have you got my 
	fifty million dollars?

		PIGGY
	We do not negotiate with terrorists, Skunkman!

		SKUNKMAN
	And apparently, you don't save the lives of hostages 
	as well!

Skunkman picks up his tail and points it at a hostage.

		HOSTAGE
	No!  No!  Noooooooo!!!

Skunkman shoots the hostage with his tail.  The hostage is engulfed by a
green gas and begins to choke.  He falls to the floor and melts in a puddle
of reddish-pinkish goo.

		SKUNKMAN
	The bank president just died.  You have five minutes to 
	get me my money or I kill another hostage.

Skunkman hangs up.  The hostages cry and whimper.

		LIAM
	WHERE, DAMMIT, WHERE!?

EXT. LAS VEGAS NATIONAL BANK
CHIEF PIGGY hangs up his phone.

		PIGGY
	Diabolical, homicidal, sick, egg-sucking...

Another POLICEMAN approaches him.

		POLICEMAN
	What do we do now, Chief Piggy?

		PIGGY
	Don't interrupt.

		POLICEMAN
	My Bad.

		PIGGY
	Where was I?

		POLICEMAN
	Uh... sick, egg-sucking...

		PIGGY
	Thank you.  SICK, egg-sucking, sadistic, son of a 
	motherless goat-grabbing, BASTARD!!!

		POLICEMAN
	You done?

		PIGGY
	Done.

		POLICEMAN
	So, what do we do now?

		PIGGY
	There's only one thing we can do.  Only one man we 
	can call.  Prepare the Cape-signal and get my checkbook... 
	this looks like a job for CAPEMAN!!!

MUSIC STING
FADE OUT

------------------------------------------------------------------------
Theme Song (sung to the theme of "The Brady Bunch")

Here’s the story...
of an internet sit-com...
made to get revenge on Liam Smith.

But now vengance has turned into a crusade...
worthy of song and myth.

Here’s the story...
of a guy named Jason...
Who has taken revenge too far.

It is now, much more than a friendly grudge match.
Now it is a full blown war!

It’s Liam Smith...
The Liam Smith...
It’s Time for the Liam Smith Show...

Dah Dah Dah Dah DAH DAH dah DAH!

OLÉ!
------------------------------------------------------------------------

THE LIAM SMITH SHOW

STARRING

Dian Bachar
as
“Liam Smith”

Ed Asner
as
“Mister Hilter”

GUEST STARRING

Jason Donner
as
“Donner”

and
David Peckinpah
as
“Satan”

SPECIAL APPEARANCES BY

Louis Anderson
as
“Police Chief Piggy”

“Dana Carvey”
as
“Skunkman”

Harvey Firestien
as
“The Blue Fairy”

and
Melissa Ethridge
as
“Angry Feminist”

AND SPECIAL GUEST STARS

Haley Joel Osmet
as
“Decoy: The Living Target I” 

Leonardo DiCaprio
as
“Decoy: The Living Target II”

and
Gary Coleman
as
“Decoy: The Living Target III”



-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

FADE IN
EXT. THE BANK - A FEW MINUTES LATER

CAPEMAN swoops down from the sky and lands in front of Police Chief Piggy and
the policeman.

		PIGGY
	Capeman, thank God you are here.

		CAPEMAN
	Yeah... Yeah... Yeah... Listen, babe... a standard 
	hostage rescue and supervillian defeat will run you 
	about $5000.00

		PIGGY
	$5000?  Sounds a little steep?  Think you can come down?

		CAPEMAN
	Well, I could just do a standard supervillian defeat for 
	$2500, but I can't guarantee that all (if any) of the 
	hostages will survive the ordeal.

		PIGGY
	Half price, huh?

		POLICEMAN
	Uh, sir...  I think you should consider paying the five 
	thousand.

		PIGGY
	Yeah, but... 5 G's?

		POLICEMAN
	Sir, the senseless killing of fifty hostages will be 
	all over the news and we should be concerned with what 
	is most important.

		PIGGY
	Your right... It IS an election year.  All right,
Capeman... 
	here is your five thousand.

Piggy writes a check.

		PIGGY
	Uh... who do I make this out to?

		CAPEMAN
	Well, my name is... Oh, no you don't!  I'll not be betraying 
	my secret identity today.  You want to find out who I am, 
	you'll have to wait for the series finale just like everyone
	else!

		PIGGY
	Fine, be that way.

Capeman takes the check and stands there.

		PIGGY
	Well, don't you think you should be heroic and save the day?

		CAPEMAN
	I can't... Not yet... I have to wait for my trusty sidekick.

		POLICEMAN
	Since when do you have a trusty sidekick?

		CAPEMAN
	Since I learned that dependents are great tax write-offs.

A costumed kid on a bicycle rides up.  He is wearing a bright red costume
with a bullseye painted on the front.

		CAPEMAN
	Ladies and gentlemen, I present... DECOY: THE LIVING TARGET!

DECOY walks over to them.

		DECOY
	I got here as fast as I could, Capeman.  I could have 
	gotten here sooner, but I don't get paid enough to take a 
	taxi.

		CAPEMAN
	Well, bitch.. bitch... bitch...  Ready to save the day, Decoy?

		DECOY
	Jeepers, I sure am, Capeman!

		CAPEMAN
	Well, then... you... uh... you first.
	
Decoy looks at Capeman, then at the bank, then back at Capeman, then at the
bank again, swallows hard, and strides up to the bank door.

INT. THE BANK
As before, Liam and Mister Hilter, and the hostages are on the floor as
Skunkman paces back and forth snarling at them.

		HILTER
	I can't believe this... I've survived two world wars, an attack
	by a hundred foot Spice Girl, an attack by Satan, a werewolf
	hunt, a Y2K disaster, and A ghostly gambler only to be snuffed
	out by a yahoo in a skunk suit.  And I had SO much I hadn't done
	in my life.

		LIAM
	Me too.

		HILTER
	I haven't climbed Everest.

		LIAM
	Me neither.

		HILTER
	Never swam the English Channel.
	
		LIAM
	Uh... same here.

		HILTER
	Never wrote my novel.

		LIAM
	That's on my list, too.

		HILTER
	Never slept with Sandra Bernhart.

		LIAM
	I... 
		[a beat]
	Sandra Bernhart?

		HILTER
	What's wrong with wanting to sleep with Sandra Bernhart?

		LIAM
	I could save time by telling you what's NOT wrong with it!

		HILTER
	AT LEAST I'VE HAD SEX!!!

		LIAM
	Man, that was cold.

There is a KNOCK at the door.  Skunkman looks confused and then goes to
answer it.

		SKUNKMAN
	Who is it?

		DECOY
	It’s Capeman’s trusty sidekick...

Skunkman picks up his tail and aims it at the door.

		DECOY
	...Decoy: The living...

EXT. THE BANK
Capeman, Piggy, and the policeman are watching.  There is a bright flash of
light along with Decoy’s girly scream.  The light fades and the three men
react in disgust.

		POLICEMAN
	Ew...

		PIGGY
	That had to hurt.

		CAPEMAN
	Decoy?  Decoy!  NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
		[a beat]
	Crap.

Capeman picks up a cellular phone and dials.

INT. JASON DONNER’S LUXURY APARTMENT
JASON DONNER is sitting in front of a TV watching the EXORCIST when the phone
rings.

		DONNER
	Hello?

INTERCUT BETWEEN DONNER and CAPEMAN

		CAPEMAN
	Is this Donner?

		DONNER
	No, it’s his evil twin brother.  What do you want, Capeman?

		CAPEMAN
	I’m afraid Decoy’s had a little accident.

		DONNER
	Accident as in “hurt” or accident as in “dead”?

		CAPEMAN
	Well...  accident as in “there will be no body to bury”.

		DONNER
	Yech!

		CAPEMAN
	I need your help!

		DONNER
	Yeah... Yeah... Yeah...  Listen C.M., I’ll make a few calls and
	get you a new sidekick?

		CAPEMAN
	Masaltov!  Thank you, friend!

		DONNER
		[hangs up]
	Costumed dope.  If only Las Vegas knew the truth about Capeman
	as I do.  If only they knew his shocking...

The phone rings.

		DONNER
	Hello?
		[a pause]
	NO I’M NOT INTERESTED IN YOUR STUPID LONG DISTANCE SERVICE!!!
		[he hangs up]
	If only they knew.
		[he dials a number]
	Hello, Granny Goodness Orphanage?  We need another kid.

MUSIC STING

EXT. THE BANK
Capeman, Piggy, and the Policeman look on.

		CAPEMAN
	Hell’s bells.  Looks like I’m just going to have to do this
	myself since Decoy got kill... uh, I mean... until Decoy gets
	back.  Yeah, that’s the ticket.

Capeman jumps into the air and flies toward the bank.

INT. THE BANK
Skunkman looks at his watch.

		SKUNKMAN
	They are out of time!  Now, I shall kill another hostage!
		[points at Liam]
	YOU!  You will die next!

Skunkman points his tail at Liam who starts to hyperventilate.

		LIAM
	You... You d-d-don’t wanna kill me!

		SKUNKMAN
	Yes I do.

		LIAM
	Damn, outsmarted by a master at debate!

Capeman CRASHES through the wall and grabs a FAT GUY.

		CAPEMAN
	Commit crime in MY city, will you Skunkman?  Now you will DIE!

Capeman VAPORIZES the fat guy with his heat vision.

		LIAM
	Uh, Capeman?

		CAPEMAN
	Yo?

		LIAM
	Skunkman’s over here.  You just vaporized Frank the Fertilizer
	King.

		CAPEMAN
	Sorry... It was the bad smell.  You know, I thought he was
	Skunkman.  I put two and two together and... forget it. 
	SKUNKMAN!  YOU HAVE STANK YOUR LAST STINK!!!

Skunkman grabs Liam.

		SKUNKMAN
	Not another move, Capeman, or Wee Willy Winky here gets it!

		LIAM
	Wee Willy Winky?  Did those pictures get out?  Listen, I was
	drunk and it was cold!  VERY VERY COLD!!!

		SKUNKMAN
	Shut up!

		HILTER
	No, don’t kill Liam!  Take me instead.  I’m an old and
	virtuously useless member of society.

		LIAM
	Mister Hilter, you’re not useless!

		HILTER
	Yes I am.  I’m afraid of new technology, I’m suspicious of
	everyone of a different ethnic background, and I’ve got
	arthritis so bad I can’t even kick a football anymore.

		LIAM
	Oh, you mean like this?

Liam goes to kick a pretend football and accidentally kicks Skunkman in the
crotch.

		SKUNKMAN
	Oooooooooooo...  Right in the mommy daddy button!

Skunkman falls to the floor.  Policemen run in and take him into custody. 
Police chief Piggy enters.

		PIGGY
	Good work, Capeman.

		CAPEMAN
	It was nothing, my good man.  Nothing at all!

Capeman walks over to Liam and Hilter.

		CAPEMAN
	You... You’re that Liam Smith lad who tried to expose my secret
	identity a few months back.

		LIAM
	Yes, and I was there when you broke every bone in Janet Reno’s
	body too!

		CAPEMAN
	Right.  Well, Liam... you and Mister Hitler...

		HILTER
	Hilter.

		CAPEMAN
	Whatever.  ...have saved the day today.  So, in accordance with
	my parole stipulations for tax evasion, I will make a personal
	appearance at your home free of charge.  What do you say?

		LIAM
	Gee whiz, Capeman, that’d be swell!

		CAPEMAN
	For you, maybe.  Well, see ya!

Capeman flys off.

		CAPEMAN
	CAAAAAAAAAAAAAPEMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!

		LIAM
	WOW!  Capeman!  In my apartment!

		HILTER
	For the second time.

		LIAM
	Dude, do I dump on your trips?

FADE OUT
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
COMMERCIAL BREAK

- Just a sprinkle a day helps keep odors away.
- ...now with wings!
- Plant a treeeeeeee for your tomorrow....

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

INT. LIAM’S APARTMENT - THE NEXT DAY
Liam and Mister Hilter and awaiting Capeman.

		LIAM
	This is so exciting.  I mean, I know I’ve seen Capeman before,
	but I’ve never really got to know him.  You know... to see what
	makes him tick.

		HILTER
	Good lord... you’re still trying to figure out his secret
	identity, aren’t you?

		LIAM
		[innocently]
	Don’t be silly.  I wouldn’t dream of doing such a thing.  I
	mean, it would be...  OKAY!  YES!  I AM still trying to figure
	out who he is!  Come on, it’s addictive!  It’s like a game... 
	I’m the cat and he’s the mouse and I’m going to pounce on him,
	RIP OFF HIS MASK...  play with him for a while and then eat him. 
	What do you think?

		HILTER
	I think you have unresolved issues.

The doorbell rings.

		LIAM
	I bet that’s Chocolate Treat wanting to borrow something else!

Liam answers the door and standing there is DECOY obviously being played by a
totally different actor than the one we saw at the beginning of the show.

		LIAM
	...the hell are you?

		DECOY II
	I’m Decoy: The Living Target.  Capeman sends his regrets, but
	I’m afraid he got hung up battling evil toady, so he sent me in
	his place.

		LIAM
	You’re Decoy?

		DECOY II
	I am.

		HILTER
	The same Decoy who tried to foil the bank robbery yesterday?

		DECOY II
	Er... the same!

		LIAM
	Funny... you look a little different.  Older... taller... a
	little more girly in stature.

		DECOY II
	Look, Capeman says I’m the same guy, all right!?

		HILTER
	Capeman says?

		DECOY II
	Er... I mean, I am the same guy!  Yeah!
		[a beat]
	Where’s the little boys room?

		LIAM
	Down the hall.

		HILTER
	Look for the massive tower of porno magazines.

Decoy II walks down the hall.

		LIAM
	You know, I could SWEAR there’s something different about him!

		HILTER
	Liam, don’t you see what is happening?

		LIAM
	Other than the fact that we’ve just exposed a prepubescent
	crimefighter to the world of pornography?

		HILTER
	That is OBVIOUSLY a different child!

		LIAM
	Well, what does that mean?

		HILTER
	It means that the Decoy we saw yesterday was probably killed and
	Capeman, being the greedy materialistic bastard that he is,
	replaced him with another kid and is passing him off as the same
	old Decoy!  Good lord...  who knows how long this has been going
	on!

		LIAM
	Hold up there!  You mean to tell me that everytime Decoy gets
	killed, Capeman just replaces him?

		HILTER
	Yes!

		LIAM
	That is SICK!!!

		HILTER
	Yes, Liam, and now it’s up to us to break the chain of
	depravity!

		LIAM
	Don’t you think we should do something about this Decoy
	situation first?

		HILTER
	IF we can talk the current Decoy into revealing Capeman’s
	secret...  why, I’m sure he would HAVE to stop using little kids
	as Decoy!

		LIAM
	Good idea.

There is a toilet flush and Decoy walks smiling like an idiot holding the
June issue of “MOUNT EVER-BREASTS” magazine.

		DECOY II
	Wow!  I had no idea that people could bend that way!

Hilter takes the magazine from him.

		HILTER
	The jig is up, whoever-you-are!  Liam and I... actually, only I
	have figured out the depraved way Capeman is using you.

		DECOY II
	I have no idea what you’re talking about!

		HILTER
	It’s obvious that you’re not the same youth that tried to stop
	the robbery yesterday.  He’s dead and you’re here to take his
	place!  Admit it!

		DECOY II
	No...  No, I can’t!

		LIAM
	What would your mother and father say if they knew you were
	caught up in this?

		DECOY II
	I don’t have a mother or a father!  I’m an orphan, okay?

Hilter and Liam are shocked.

		HILTER
	I...  We didn’t know.

Decoy II sits down on the couch.

		DECOY II
	I’ve lived in the orphanage ever since I was born.  My father
	was a high wire trapeze artist lion-taming snake charmer who was
	killed...
		[a beat]
	...he choked on a bagel.  My mother died after I was born.  I’ve
	lived in that orphanage ever since.... alone... unloved... 
	Until one day Capeman came to the orphanage and adopted me.  He
	told me that I would become his sidekick and that the job would
	be very dangerous.  He explained to me that many a Decoy had
	been killed in the line of duty, but I didn’t care.  At last, I
	had a place to belong...  at last I had a home and someone who
	loved me even if it was for all the wrong reasons.

Liam sits next to him.

		LIAM
	You know, I’m an orphan too.

		DECOY II
	You are?

		LIAM
	Yep.  At least you know who your parents are.  Me, I haven’t got
	a clue in the world!  I was raised in orphanages until I got to
	be eighteen then I got a job and started supporting myself.  A
	few years later, I moved here to Las Vegas and met all my
	friends...  Thad, Chocolate Treat, Stacy, Mister Hilter, Bippo,
	and yes... even Donner to a certain degree.  I may never find
	out who my parents are or even if they’re still alive but...
	I’ve already got a family... right here.  And you know what? 
	They all love me for all the right reasons!

		HILTER
	I think the word “love” is a little strong, but Liam’s mostly
	right in his simple and naive way.  You shouldn’t settle for
	whatever comes your way.  Family is more than blood or legal
	relations.  Family are those who care about you.

		DECOY II
	Really?

		HILTER & LIAM
	Yes, really.

		DECOY II
	So what can I do?

		LIAM
	Well, for one you stop risking your life as Capeman’s sidekick
	and for two, you expose this kiddie conveyor belt of death he’s
	set up!

		DECOY II
	By gum, you’re right!  I will!  I will!  As soon as Capeman gets
	here, I’ll look him in the eye and tell him I quit!

		HILTER
	Good for you!

		LIAM
	But where the hell is Capeman anyway?

INT. A BAR
Capeman is having drinks with a man in blue tights holding a wand.  This is
THE BLUE FAIRY.

		CAPEMAN
	I tell you, no one respects me.  That’s the bottom line.  NO
	RESPECT!

		BLUE FAIRY
	Not me, Capeman, in San Francisco everyone loves me, The Blue
	Fairy.

		CAPEMAN
	Yeah, but in Vegas everyone just sees me as another tourist
	attraction.
		[imitates a tourist]
	Oh, let’s get our picture with Capeman!  Oooo, over here
	Capeman!  Hey, YOU’RE not Superman!  Hey!  Get your hand off my
	wife’s ass!  Capeman, help!  My baby was just kidnapped by
	Gypsies!
		[normal voice]
	It’s just one thing after another, Blue Fairy!

Capeman’s watch beeps

		BLUE FAIRY
	What’s that?

		CAPEMAN
	What’s what?

		BLUE FAIRY
	Your watch.  That’s the fourth time it’s beeped since you came
	in.

		CAPEMAN
	Holy fried dog meat in a taco!  I completely forget about that
	Liam kid!  I gotta go, Blue Fairy!

Capeman zooms out the door.  Blue Fairy watches him go.

		BLUE FAIRY
	I loooooooove that man!

INT. LIAM’S APARTMENT
As before.  DECOY II appears a little more worked up than before as he is
pacing back and forth muttering to himself.

		DECOY II
	...and when that no good so and so gets here, I’m just going to
	let him have it.  Oh yes... Capeman, you’re just a low-down no
	good-nick!  Yeah, that’s what I’m going to say to him as soon as
	that tight-wearing creep gets here!

		CAPEMAN
		[off camera]
	What are you going to say to the tight-wearing creep?

		DECOY II
	Aw, hell...

The camera angles and we see Capeman standing in front of an open window.

		CAPEMAN
	Well?

		DECOY II
	I...  That is... We... No, I... I jus- I just....  It’s just
	that... It’s just...  I... I...

		LIAM
	Tell him, Decoy!

		HILTER
	We’re here for ya, kid!

Decoy is bolstered by Liam and Hilter’s support.

		DECOY II
	Capeman, it’s time for your deception to stop.  You can’t just
	keep using little kids the way you have as disposable sidekicks. 
	I quit, Capeman!  I quit as your sidekick and I’m going to the
	media to expose you!

		CAPEMAN
	You expose me, little Decoy, and you’re going back to Granny
	Goodness Orphanage!

		DECOY II
	I don’t care because, you see, I’ve learned today that it
	doesn’t matter where you are or what you do, you family is made
	up of the people who love and care about you and you shouldn’t
	settle for second best.

		CAPEMAN
	Second best?

		DECOY II
	Second best... people like you!

Capeman’s jaw drops in disbelief.

		DECOY II
	Good-bye, Capeman.

Decoy goes for the door.

		CAPEMAN
	Wait, Decoy.

		DECOY II
	Don’t call me that!  I’m not Decoy anymore!

		CAPEMAN
	What if I give you a raise?

		DECOY II
	You think you can BUY me now?

Capeman takes out a piece of paper and a pen and writes.

		CAPEMAN
	I’m going to write an amount on this piece of paper...

		DECOY II
	Forget it!

		CAPEMAN
	...and we’ll see if we can’t negotiate.

Capeman hands Decoy the paper.

		DECOY II
	You can’t put a price on my integrity!
		[looks at paper]
	Or maybe you can!

		LIAM
	Decoy!

		DECOY II
	No!  No, Capeman!  This has to stop!

		CAPEMAN
	How about I give you a twenty percent share of the profits?

		DECOY II
	You can’t bribe...  twenty percent?  That’s gotta be almost two
	hundred mill--  NO!  No, you can’t buy me!

		CAPEMAN
	A penthouse high atop the MGM Grand with a Jacuzzi and a big
	screen TV?

		DECOY II
	Nuh-uh!  You cannot tempt me!

		CAPEMAN
	Okay, how about I get you...  A DECOYMOBILE!

		DECOY II
	My own DECOYMOBILE?

		CAPEMAN
	All yours.

		DECOY II
	I... I...  Don’t...

		CAPEMAN
	Okay, my final offer.  All of what I have offered PLUS you and I
	will be full partners.  No more of this Decoy goes first
	nonsense!  What do you say?

Capeman holds out his hand.

		LIAM
	Decoy, remember what we said about family!

		DECOY
	Sucks to family!  I’m RICH!!!

Decoy and Capeman shake hands sealing the deal.

FADE OUT

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
COMMERCIAL BREAK

- Hastings: Your Entertainment Superstore
- AOL/TIME WARNER: RESISTANCE IS FUTILE!!!
- That’s a spicy meatball-ah!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

FADE IN
THE LAS VEGAS STRIP - DAY
Fire rains from the sky and most of the strip is obscured by smoke.  LIAM and
MISTER HILTER walk up to the crowded police barricade where they meet police
chief Piggy.

		LIAM
	What’s going on here?

		PIGGY
	Capeman and Decoy just stopped the Angry Feminist from
	destroying the Excalabur Hotel.

The Angry Feminist is taken to a police car.

		ANGRY FEMINIST
	You Non-Females cannot stop the revolution!  The revolution
	cannot me stopped!  I am Womyn!  Hear me roar!

		LIAM
	Wow.

		HILTER
	And you Capeman AND Decoy stopped this?

		PIGGY
	Yep.  Seeing those two together...  the teamwork and the
	camaraderie... does my heart good.

Piggy walks off.

		HILTER
	Gee, maybe things worked out well after all.  Maybe Young Decoy
	has found his place in the world after all.

		LIAM
	Yep, it just goes to show that sometimes family can be found in
	the places you least expect.

		BYSTANDER
	Look!  Here comes Capeman!

Capeman swoops out of the sky.  The crowd applauds.

		CAPEMAN
	Thank you, citizens!  All is well thanks to me, Capeman, and my
	trusty sidekick whom I love as though he is my son, DECOY!

The super-cool DECOYMOBILE pulls up and Decoy gets out.  It is painfully
obvious that this is a brand new Decoy because he is now black.

		DECOY III
	Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!

Capeman walks over to Hilter and Liam

		CAPEMAN
	Before you say anything, Decoy II got toasted in our fight with
	Disgruntled Mailman about a week ago.

		HILTER
	...and now you’re pulling the same scam you were before?  That
	is SICK!

		CAPEMAN
	No, now I’m offering every Decoy the same benefits I offered
	Decoy II.  I will honor my agreement with Decoy II, I swear it.

		DECOY III
	Hey, Capeman, who are these guys?

		LIAM
	We’re... nobody.

Liam turns and sadly walks away.  Hilter goes after him.

		HILTER
	You all right, Liam?

		LIAM
	I thought we reached him, Mister Hilter.  I thought we made a
	difference.

		HILTER
	Decoy II was blinded by greed, Liam, just like Capeman is.  It’s
	self-defeating and, in the end, I don’t think Decoy II wanted to
	be helped.

		LIAM
	I still feel down.

		HILTER
		[an idea]
	Hey, Liam... wanna go ride the Star Trek Experience at the
	Hilton and make fun of the waiters dressed as Feringi?

		LIAM
		[suddenly excited]
	DO I?

Liam grabs Mister Hilter by the arm and drags him down the strip.

FADE TO:
LAS VEGAS CEMETERY - NIGHT
We see a lone gravestone with the words “HERE LIES AN UNKNOWN SUPERHERO WHO
DIED HORRIBLY AND PAINFULLY”.  Suddenly, SATAN appears and walks up to the
marker.

		SATAN
	Decoy II, rise!  We have work to do!

DECOY II pulls himself out of the ground.

		DECOY II
	What...?  What am I doing here?  I’m alive!

		SATAN
	No, you are dead and I, Satan, hold you in my power!  Join me
	and we will damn Liam Smith for all eternity!

		DECOY II
	No, Satan!  Liam Smith tried to save me and I let my greed take
	me to where I am now.

		SATAN
	So be it!

Satan points at Decoy II who drops dead again.

		SATAN
	Damn!  Another refuses to join our army.

FLUFFY THE HAMSTER appears on Satan’s shoulder.

		FLUFFY
	No matter...  Our army is more than sufficient and soon, Liam
	Smith shall know the meaning of the word REVENGE!

Satan and Fluffy laugh evilly as the camera pulls away and lightning flashes
in the background.

FADE OUT
THE END