The Liam Smith Show
Episode 2.15 - "Liam Smith and the Chocolate Factory"
Written By Jason Donner
INT. A TV STUDIO
We are seeing a news show in progress. An Anchorman and
Anchorwoman sit side by side.
ANCHORMAN
Big news today from the candy world
as chocolate bar billionaire Willy
Wonka announced that he is giving
away more golden tickets to tour
his wondrous chocolate factory. A
rare event indeed.
ANCHORWOMAN
Yes, rare. Rare as the partial
eclipse on Christmas day or my ever
being satisfied in bed.
ANCHORMAN
Perhaps that is because you're a
frigid old woman.
ANCHORWOMAN
In other news, my husband is
impotent and a second-rate
journalist.
ANCHORMAN
We now go live to my wife being a
bitch. Go ahead, Jan.
ANCHORWOMAN
I'm Jan Smiley.
ANCHORMAN
And I'm Richard Smiley, your
anchorman...
ANCHORWOMAN
...and anchorwoman saying good
night.
The lights begin to dim. Suddenly, giant anchors fall on the
two anchorpeople.
INT. SENESTRA MALEVOUS' OFFICE
SENESTRA MALEVOLOUS clicks off the television and turns to
her henchmen, Rock and Tank.
SENESTRA
This is it, my cerebrally
challenged almost-primates! This
is my chance to gain what has long
since been denied to me...
(dramatic pause)
The everlasting gobstopper!!!
MUSIC STING
FADE OUT
--------------------------------------------------------------
THEME SONG (TO THE THEME OF THE OOMPA-LOOPA SONG)
Oompa-Loopa, dopity-doe,
It is time for the Liam Smith Show
You can't run or hide from it no,
It's the...
Oompa...
Loopa...
Liam Smith Show!
OLE!
--------------------------------------------------------------
THE LIAM SMITH SHOW
Starring
Dian Bachar
As
"Liam Smith"
John Rhys-Davies
As
"Professor Arturo"
Guest Starring
Marina Sirtis
As
"Senestra Malevolous"
Dolph Lungren
As
"Tank"
Billy Blanks
As
"Rock"
RuPaul
As
"Chocolate Treat"
Robert Floyd
As
"Bippo the Clown"
Michael Nelson
As
"Thad Coffey"
And
Betty White
As
"Doris Winchester"
Special Guest Star
Gene Wilder
As
"Willy Wonka"
EXT. THE LAS VEGAS STRIP
People are crowding the candy stores in Las Vegas trying to
find a golden ticket inside the candy bars. Signs are lining
the street saying "NO WILLY WONKA BARS HERE" and "SOLD OUT OF
WONKA BARS" and "THIS IS A CASINO, NOT A CANDY STORE". The
camera focuses on one person, LIAM SMITH, walking through the
chaos. He happens upon his neighbor CHOCOLATE TREAT who is
holding a sign that says "WILL TRADE SEX FOR WONKA BAR".
LIAM
Chocolate Treat, what's going on
here?
CHOCOLATE TREAT
Liam, honey... You don't happen to
have a Wonka Bar do you? I'll make
it worth your while!
LIAM
For god's sake, Chocolate Treat, I
don't have a Wonka Bar! What's the
fixation with Wonka bars? Will
someone tell me?
CHOCOLATE TREAT
Willy Wonka's giving away five
golden tickets inside his chocolate
bars.
LIAM
So?
CHOCOLATE TREAT
Well, the people who find those
bars gets to tour his factory.
LIAM
And?
CHOCOLATE TREAT
No one's ever been in there
before... And lived!
LIAM
So?
CHOCOLATE TREAT
You get a free lifetime supply of
chocolate.
LIAM
Oh, well I guess that would be
something but I'm way too busy to
go on a holiday to a dirty old
candy factory. I have work to do.
Liam starts to leave.
CHOCOLATE TREAT
Sure you won't take me up on the
sex offer?
LIAM
I told you, I don't have any
chocolate!
CHOCOLATE TREAT
What chocolate?
INT. UPDA CREEK APARTMENTS
Elvis is watching the news on the television in the lobby.
Liam enters.
LIAM
Hi, Elvis. How is life as Upda
Creek's new handyman treating you?
ELVIS
Not too shabby considering what
happened to Harry. I haven't
disappeared mysteriously like he
did only to be presumed dead...
Nope. I did find out what was
clogging up the sewer pipes,
though.
(a beat)
You don't happen to be missing a
cat or anything, do you?
LIAM
No.
ELVIS
I'll have to talk to Bippo then.
ANCHORMAN
(on TV)
Word in now from London, it appears
that the forth golden ticket has
been found! That leaves only one
ticket left in the entire world.
ELVIS
DAMMIT!
LIAM
Oh, Elvis! Not you too!
ELVIS
I can't help it! I Would do
anything to get into that factory!
EVEN KILL!
LIAM
What?
ELVIS
Sorry, just thinking aloud.
LIAM
Uh-huh. Okay, you've been hanging
around Bippo too much. Have you
seen the professor?
ELVIS
In the back office.
Liam nods and heads for the back office.
INT. THE BACK OFFICE
PROFESSOR ARTURO sits there in the dark. The door opens
behind him. A sly smile crosses Arturo's face.
ARTURO
I've been expecting you, my boy.
LIAM
Professor, we've got to stop
meeting like this. The other's are
beginning to suspect.
ARTURO
Quiet, or they'll know we're doing
it again.
LIAM
Right. Sorry, sir.
ARTURO
Now, give me what I want you bad
bad boy!
Liam walks over and begins unzipping his pants. Arturo
watches breathlessly as the zipper slides down. Liam walks
gingerly to the professor and then pulls a bag of chocolate
bars out of his pants.
LIAM
That's all I could smuggle in
safely.
ARTURO
Good work, my boy! Marvelous!
That golden ticket is in here
somewhere! I can feel it!
LIAM
Then let's start looking.
INT. THE LOBBY
Elvis has gotten up and has started towards the back office.
Liam and Arturo's voices filter through the door.
ARTURO
I've been looking forward to this
for a long time.
LIAM
Me too professor. Here, take it
out.
ARTURO
What the!? It's all warm and limp!
Elvis stops.
LIAM
Well what do you expect, professor?
It's been in my pants for hours!
ARTURO
I suppose it'll have to do.
LIAM
Now, be sure and look at it for a
while before you go popping it into
your mouth.
ARTURO
Yes. Wouldn't want to choke again,
would I?
Elvis shakes his head.
ELVIS
I come back later.
ARTURO
Dammit! Now my hands are all gooey
and sticky!
Elvis runs away.
INT. THE BACK OFFICE
Arturo and Liam are unwrapping the candy. Arturo holds up
the last one.
ARTURO
This is the last one. Keep your
fingers crossed.
Liam crosses his fingers. Arturo unwraps the candy to
reveal...
ARTURO
Nothing. No golden ticket.
LIAM
Well, it was worth a try,
professor. I guess only fools
dream of things they can never
acquire.
ARTURO
Socrates?
LIAM
Bazooka Joe.
ARTURO
Wise man.
Arturo turns his head.
LIAM
Professor. You have something on
the side of your face.
ARTURO
What? Here?
Arturo wipes the side of the face.
LIAM
No, the other side.
Arturo wipes that side of his face. An unwrapped Wonka Bar
falls on the desk. Arturo and Liam look at each other.
EXT. THE LAS VEGAS STRIP
A crowd of people are carrying Arturo and Liam on their
shoulders.
MAN
Did you hear!? They've got the
last golden ticket!
ARTURO
Hey! Someone took my wallet!
LIAM
Oh, relax, professor! Celebrate
and have a good ti... Agggh!
A hand grabs Liam by the throat and drags him into a dark
alley.
INT. SENESTRA MALEVOUS' OFFICE
Liam is tied to a chair with a bag over his head. Senestra,
Rock, and Tank stand over him.
SENESTRA
Hello, Liam. Guess who it is.
LIAM
Uh, Stacy?
SENESTRA
No.
LIAM
Doris?
SENESTRA
Try again.
LIAM
Kari?
SENESTRA
Wrong.
LIAM
Chocolate Treat?
SENESTRA
Incorrect.
LIAM
Bippo?
SENESTRA
Dammit! Take that bag off of his
head!
Rock takes the bag off of Liam's head. HE reacts in shock
and alarm.
LIAM
Senestra Malevolous! I'm shocked
and alarmed! What do you want?
SENESTRA
Your services, Liam. Nothing more.
LIAM
Well, technically... I DO work for
you so... Okay. What do you need?
Blackjack dealer? A little piece
of man-candy to use, abuse, and
refuse?
SENESTRA
Ick, no. I Want you to infiltrate
the factory of Willy Wonka and
bring me an everlasting gobstopper.
LIAM
A whater-lasting who-whatter?
SENESTRA
Everlasting gobstopper, the
pinnacle of sugar technology.
Imagine if you will, an object you
can suck on and suck on for years
and years and it never... ever
diminishes in size. I've been
searching for such an object.
LIAM
So's Chocolate Treat. You wanna
get to the friggin' point?
SENESTRA
This candy... if I had in under my
control, I could introduce it into
the markets of the world. With
eternal candy, consumers would
never have to purchase new sweets!
Candy companies would fall like
dominos! The entire world economy
would collapse leaving the world
ripe for conquest by me, Senestra
Malevolous and some sort of soon-to
be-designed robot of some sort.
LIAM
I see. So, you want me to get this
everlasting gobstopper for you,
right? Yeah, sure no problem as
long as I get paid overtime for it.
SENESTRA
Who mean... You'll do it? No moral
crisis? No speeches about
stealing?
Liam gives Senestra an "Are you stupid?" look.
LIAM
It's a piece of candy, not the Mona
fu-[BLEEP]-king Lisa.
EXT. WILLY WONKA'S CHOCOLATE FACTORY
It is a press bonanza as the five winners approach the front
gates. There is TIMMY a boy of eight and his mother, TIMMY'S
MOM. There is BRENDAN and his father, BRENDAN'S DAD. There
is LeANNE and her mother, LeANNE'S MOM, CHRISSY and CHRISSY'S
DAD, and finally Liam and Arturo.
LIAM
This is so cool, Professor. What
do you think the inside of the
candy factory will be like?
ARTURO
Dark, dank, and lots of rats. Sort
of like the apple cider mill.
There is a trumpet fanfare and all attention is focused on
the front door of the factory that opens in a broad sweeping
gesture. A red carpet rolls out and WILLY WONKA strolls out
waving to the cheering crowd.
LIAM
Look! It's him! It's Willy Wonka!
CROWD
DUH!
Willy Wonka reaches the podium and takes a speech out of his
coat pocket.
WILLY WONKA
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and
girls and especially to the winners
of the 2nd Willy Wonka Chocolate
Factory Tour Sweepstakes, I'd like
to say congradu- GUN!
Wonka ducks under the podium as gunfire is sprayed from a
nearby black car. Police sirens are heard in the distance
and the black car speeds away. Wonka gets to his feet and
dusts himself off.
ARTURO
Good lord! Sir, are you all right?
WILLY WONKA
Of course I'm all right! Those
bastards from Hersheys have been
trying to off me for years but I'm
like genital warts, baby! I Just
come back bigger and meaner each
time!
There is the sound of a crying child.
WILLY WONKA
What's that sound? Sounds like
someone's upset.
Wonka walks over and finds contest winner LeANNE crying over
the body of her fallen mother.
WILLY WONKA
Why, what's wrong little girl?
LEANNE
My mommy got shot in the head and
she don't move no more.
WILLY WONKA
A shot in the head? Well, that
should be easily fixed, after all,
people with less brains than those
that are left in your mother's
cranial cavity lead perfectly
normal lives in public office.
I'll instruct my faithful Oompa
Loompas to take her to the peanut
butter room. That should suffice
to fill your mother's head.
Wonka gets out a piccolo and plays a short little tune.
LEANNE
Umpa-what-ahs?
Music plays as the Oompa-Loompas march out the front door.
OOMPA LOOMPAS
Oompa Loompa dopity doo, I've got a
little puzzle for you.
OOMPA LOOMPA #1
What do you get from a slug in the
head?
OOMPA LOOMPA #2
A splitting headache and a big case
of dead.
OOMPA LOOMPA #1
You should wear a helmet you
should.
OOMPA LOOMPA #2
Because this is a bad neighborhood.
OOMPA LOOMPA #1
The mob runs everything.
OOMPA LOOMPAS
Oompa Loompa dopity-doff. We're
really sorry you head got blown
off. You can't live in happiness
too, like the Oompa... Oompa Loompa
Doopity do!
During the song, the Oompa Loompas have picked up the
mother's body and carried it to a dumpster. They throw it
inside and, on the last note, they exit via the front door.
ARTURO
Well, my faith in little people is
unwaveringly shaken, how about you?
The survivors go inside the chocolate factory.
FADE TO:
INT. THE CANDY FACTORY - A FEW HOURS LATER
Willy Wonka, Liam, and Arturo walk into a large room filled
with all sorts of candy under glass like it's some kind of a
museum.
LIAM
But what will happen to all of the
other kids, Mister Wonka? Timmy
who was set afire by your burnaball
chewing gum? Chrissy who was
pulled apart by your twice-normal
sized taffy puller? Brendan who
was disemboweled by your sonic ice
cream scoop?
WILLY WONKA
They'll all be fine, my boy. A
little first aid and some expensive
therapy and they'll all be back to
their wretched naughty little
selves again... But let's not worry
about that now. This is our final
stop on our tour, the Wonka hall of
Wonkalicious fame. Here are stored
all of the candies that I created
that are too fandabulous to release
to the outside world. For example,
the spring-loaded chewing gum: the
gun that chews itself and Nutra
Sugar, the sugarless sugar.
They approach a pedestal.
WILLY WONKA
And this... This is the pinnacle of
my creation, the ever-lasting
gobstopper.
Liam's eyes light up.
WILLY WONKA
This candy never exhausts itself.
It can be sucked on and sucked on
and sucked on much like your
average porn star, but unlike your
average porn star, it doesn't taste
like moldy cheese and it's firmness
never fades.
Wonka begins to walk to the next case.
WILLY WONKA
Next we have a candy that turns
naughty little children into giant
blueberries and...
The case is empty.
WILLY WONKA
Hey, where's the candy?
He looks over at Arturo who has turned blue and has swollen
into a large blueberry.
ARTURO
I have no idea.
Wonka sighs and plays his piccolo.
WILLY WONKA
Looks like you have a date with Mr.
Juicer.
The Oompa Loompas appear and begin singing.
OOMPA LOOMPAS
Oompa Loompa dopity doo, I've got
another puzzle for you.
OOMPA LOOMPA #1
Why did you eat that forbidden
sweet?
OOMPA LOOMPA #2
'Round here you slip up and you
wind up dead meat.
OOMPA LOOMPA #1
But no, you just had to eat a bite.
OOMPA LOOMPA #2
The squeezing process ain't very
nice.
OOMPA LOOMPAS
Can you squeal like a pig?
OOMPA LOOMPAS
Oompa Loompa dopity-drapes. We're
going to squeeze your fat ass like
grapes. You can't live in
happiness too, like the Oompa...
Oompa Loompa Doopity do!
During the song, the Oompa Loompas roll Arturo to a door and,
on the last note, the door slams shut.
LIAM
My god, will he be okay?
WILLY WONKA
Right as rain, Liam... But his
gluttony has cost you your lifetime
supply of chocolate. Come to think
of it, I've got to legal papers to
go through if I'm going to sue him
for eating my candy. I'll be back
in a jiff.
Wonka leaves. Liam looks over at the glass case with the
everlasting gobstopper and smiles.
LIAM
Easy as pie.
Liam walks over, lifts the glass, and takes the gobstopper.
Alarms go off and Oompa Loompas swarm into the room.
OOMPA LOOMPA #1
He's got the gobstobber!
OOMPA LOOMPA #2
Don't let him get away!
OOMPA LOOMPA #3
BREAK HIS LEGS!
Liam screams like a girl and jumps out the window.
OOMPA LOOMPA #2
Uh-oh, he got away!
Willy Wonka enters looking sinister and pissed.
WILLY WONKA
Not for long. Fly, my children!
Fly and bring back my everlasting
gobstopper and the head of Liam
Smith!
The Oompa Loompas roar with bloodlust and run out the
shattered window after Liam.
CUT TO:
INT. LIAM'S APARTMENT
Chocolate Treat is going through Liam's stuff when Liam
bursts in screaming.
CHOCOLATE TREAT
Liam, my little hunk of white
delectation, what's wrong?
LIAM
I'm being chased by an army of
little orange midgets! There's a
dispute about candy! Don't ask
questions!
CHOCOLATE TREAT
Is this a kinky sex game, 'cause if
it is, I'm in!
THAD COFFEY and BIPPO THE CLOWN enter.
THAD
What's going on out there? It
smells like orange juice and B.O..
CHOCOLATE TREAT
Liam's being chased by little
orange midgets.
Bippo screams and runs over and bolts the door. He then
picks up the couch and braces it against the door.
THAD
Bip? What's wrong?
BIPPO
No questions! Just nail the
windows shut!
CHOCOLATE TREAT
What's going on?
BIPPO
Oompa Loompas are what's going on!
Inside of Willy Wonka's chocolate
factory, they're tame... You might
even call them legal slaves, but on
the outside they're wild,
unpredictable, and cranky and if
they're after Liam, all we can do
is delay the inevitable.
LIAM
The inevitable?
BIPPO
That being when they break down the
door, beat you senseless, gouge out
your eyes, break your legs, and eat
the skin from your face.
There is banging at the door.
LIAM
Who is it?
OOMPA LOOMPAS
(singing through door)
Oompa Loompa dopity doo, we are
here to beat and kill you.
LIAM
GAH!
More banging at the door.
CHOCOLATE TREAT
Look!
Treat points to the windows now covered with the little
orange Oompa-Loompas trying to chew through the glass.
THAD
We're done for.
BIPPO
Well, Liam's done for. We'll
probably walk away from this
unscathed.
THAD
Oh. Good deal.
CHOCOLATE TREAT
Guys, it would be wrong to leave
Liam here at the mercy of those
orange bastards especially before
I've had a chance to sleep with
him.
LIAM
Yeah! I mean, no! I mean...
THAD
Wait! I've got an idea that's just
stupid enough to work! Bippo, do
you have your clown make-up kit
with you?
Bippo pulls out a large tackle box.
BIPPO
Never leave home without it.
THAD
Great! We need all the orange make
up you have.
CUT TO:
EXT. LIAM'S APARTMENT
The Oompa Loompas are in a frenzy beating on the door. It's
like a sea of orange in the hallway. DORIS walks by carrying
groceries.
DORIS
Excuse me, pardon me, coming
through! HEY! Watch the hands,
Tiny Tim.
As Doris exits frame, the door to Liam's apartment suddenly
flies open revealing Chocolate Treat dressed provocatively
and completely covered in orange make-up.
CHOCOLATE TREAT
(breathy)
Hello, boys.
OOMPA LOOMPA #3
Oh, sweet Jesus!
OOMPA LOOMPA #1
She's beautiful!
OOMPA LOOMPA #2
I'm getting a funny feeling in my
happy no-no place!
OOMPA LOOMPAS
Oompa Loompa Doopity-Dex, we've
gone a long time without any sex.
You can make us happy men too!
Like the Oompa Loompa Doompa
Doopity WOOOOOO-WOOOOOOO!!!
Chocolate Treat walks to her apartment. All of the Oompa
Loompas follow her inside. After a few seconds, the sounds
of Oompa Loompa shrieking is heard.
INT. LIAM'S APARTMENT
Liam, Thad, and Bippo come out of hiding.
LIAM
Wow! You plan worked, Thad. All
of the Oompa Loompas are gone!
The phone rings. Liam answers.
LIAM
Hello?
WILLY WONKA
(on phone)
So, you somehow defeated my
powerful army of Oompa Loompas. I
commend you, Liam Smith, but it
will not save you. Hand over the
everlasting gobstopper now or else.
LIAM
Or else what? You can't hurt me!
ARTURO
(on phone)
Do as he says, Liam.
LIAM
Professor?
ARTURO
(on phone)
Yeah, professor! You left me at
the factory you blithering ninny
and Mister Wonka took me hostage!
WILLY WONKA
(on phone)
Bring the gobstopper to the Planet
Hollywood outside of Ceaser's
Palace. It's owned by Bruce Willis
and Sylvester Stallone so it should
be pretty much abandoned by now.
Be there in ten minutes or the
professor dies.
The line goes dead. Liam looks at the others.
EXT. PLANET HOLLYWOOD
Willy Wonka stands there with a candy cane gun to Arturo's
head.
ARTURO
You'll never get away with this,
Wonka!
WILLY WONKA
I've killed better men than you and
got away with it. That annoying
Charlie kid for example, he won my
contest last time and I gave him my
factory... Oh, that was a mistake
that was. He had all of these wild
ideas about chocolate that melts in
your mouth and not in your hands
and something called nougat. Well,
I took care of that little bastard
just like I'm going to take care of
your little friend!
LIAM
Not so fast, Wonka!
Wonka twirls around and sees Liam Smith standing on the far
side of the parking lot.
LIAM
Let him go. I Have your gobstopper
right here.
WILLY WONKA
FOOL! Did you think you would
honestly survive this day? You
stole from me just like the
election was stolen from Al Gore
and for that, you will die!
LIAM
Mister Wonka, I've learned
something today. You see, none of
this would have happened if I had
just listened to that little voice
inside my head that tells me right
from wrong. You see, I know now
that I've grown cynical over the
past few years and my sense of
morality has suffered. I knew it
was wrong to steal the everlasting
gobstopper but I did it anyway.
I'm ashamed of that and I'm willing
to make it up to you.
WILLY WONKA
You CAN'T make it up to me!
LIAM
Mister Wonka, you seem to have
stopped listening to the voices in
you head as well.
WILLY WONKA
Nonsense! I listen to them all the
time! They sing to me and send me
to sleep! They tell me to kill the
pope and pee in birdbaths! They
tell me that Jodie Foster would be
very impressed if I slit the
throats of twenty Yorkshire
Terriers and that human brains will
keep me young if I take them as a
suppository.
ARTURO
Good lord, man! You're insane!
WILLY WONKA
Well, DUH! Any last words before I
blow your friggin' brains out, fat
boy?
LIAM
I have one.
WILLY WONKA
What?
LIAM
Now!
WILLY WONKA
Huh?
Thousands of Oompa Loompas charge at Willy Wonka and pile on
top of him.
WILLY WONKA
Nooooooooo!!! You can't do this!
I Gave you life! I gave you life!
You obey only me!
Chocolate Treat appears.
CHOCOLATE TREAT
Not anymore they don't, honey.
They've got a new master, right
dolls?
Chocolate Treat cracks a whip.
OOMPA LOOMPAS
Yes ma'am.
WILLY WONKA
Noooo!!! This can't be happening!
I'm Willy Wonka! I hate you,
father!
FADE TO:
EXT. PLANET HOLLYWOOD - MOMENTS LATER
An ambulance with the words ROBERT DOWNEY JR. LOONY BIN AND
DRUG REHAB CENTER on it has arrived and Willy Wonka has been fitted
with a straight jacket and is being led inside. Liam,
Arturo, and Chocolate Treat watches from afar.
ARTURO
To think, Willy Wonka was mad all
of this time and no one noticed.
LIAM
Wow, who would have expected that
from a man who lives in a candy
factory, feeds dangerous sweets to
children, and hangs around with a
bunch of little orange guys?
ARTURO
Speaking of which, what happened to
the Oompa Loompas you had under
your control, my dear?
CHOCOLATE TREAT
Who? Oh, the little orange sex
machines? Well, it turns out they
only live a few weeks. Kind of
like sea monkeys.
Chocolate Treat points to a heaping pile of dead Oompa
Loompas. Liam and Arturo shudder in disgust
LIAM
Well, we've destroyed a major
children's figurehead and the
leader of a multi-billion dollar
candy empire... not to mention
Willy Wonka's life and the dozens
of Oompa Loompa's under his employ.
CHOCOLATE TREAT
Not bad for a few hours work, huh
sweet cheeks?
ARTURO
No, not bad at all.
CHOCOLATE TREAT
I wasn't talking to you.
LIAM
Yep, looks like all of the loose
ends have been tied up. I even
delivered the everlasting
gobstopper to Senestra Malevolous.
Man, she's going to be so happy
with my performance she just might
give me a raise.
INT. SENESTRA MALEVOUS' OFFICE
Rock and Tank stare at something off camera.
SENESTRA
(off camera)
Oh, the everlasting gobstopper is
more wonderful and tasty than I
could have possibly imagined. This
is it, boys! I'm going to rule the-
(a beat)
What are you two staring at?
INT. SENESTRA MALEVOUS' OFFICE - ANOTHER ANGLE
Senestra Malevolous has swollen into a large purple blueberry
obviously from eating the wrong kind of candy.
ROCK
Da'h, Miss Malevoulous... Are you
retaining water?
SENESTRA
What sort of a stupid question
is...?
Senestra sees herself in a nearby mirror.
SENESTRA
What the...!?
EXT. CIRCUS, CIRCUS
There is a murderous scream so loud that every window in the
giant hotel and casino shatters.
SENESTRA
LIIIIIIIIAMMMMM SMIIIIIIIIIIITH!!!
Lighting flashes.
Music Sting.
FADE OUT.
THE END