The Liam Smith Show
Episode 2.22 - "Just Doo It Again!"
Written by Jason Donner
INT. HELL
A gigantic cavern filled with millions of people crying and
screaming in agony. Demons with pitchforks are poking people
in the head and throwing them into pits of fire and lava. The
camera tracks through the gruesome scene until we find
something unexpected... SCRAPPY DOO with a pitchfork, sharp
teeth, and red glowing eyes. He appears to be supervising
the whole horrible place. He looks at his watch and then
walks over to a whistle and pulls the cord making it go off.
INT. HELL - ANOTHER ANGLE
There is a demon in a carriage on top of a huge dragon. The
demon takes off his helmet and jumps into the air.
DEMON
YABBA-DABBA DOO!!!
The demon leaps onto the dragon's tail and slides down it
ramping into the air and into a molten lake of fire. A Quick
burst of flames, and the demon is burned to a crisp.
SCRAPPY
I never get tired of doing that.
INT. HELL - SATAN'S THRONE ROOM
SATAN is sitting in his throne as KATHY HILTER is giving his
a status report. Scrappy walks in during the report.
KATHY
Murders, genocide, and acts of
general hate and intolerance are up
400 percent in the middle east. We
have demons in Vancouver who are
scheduled to burn down a retirement
home at 5:00. Relations has sent a
card to Saddam Hussien wishing him
a happy birthday, oh, and the cast
of Lexx wants to know if they can
stay on the air another season.
SATAN
Granted.
Kathy nods and writes the info down on her clipboard.
KATHY
Oooooo... How evil!
SATAN
Now... What of my favorite
location? Is anything special
happening there today?
KATHY
No, master, Las Vegas is quiet
which, considering how nutty things
usually are up there, I'd say that
IS a special thing.
SCRAPPY
Excuse me, master.
SATAN
(ignoring Scrappy)
Did...? Did you just say "nutty"?
KATHY
Yes, master.
SATAN
You are forbidden to ever say that
word again.
SCRAPPY
Master?
KATHY
But... What if someone asks me to
describe the taste of peanut
butter?
SATAN
Well, in that case I suppose the
word is acceptable.
SCRAPPY
(clears his throat)
Master Satan?
Satan finally noticed Scrappy.
SATAN
Oh, Scrappy! I didn't see you down
there, little fella! What does my
right hand mongrel need this firery
afternoon?
SCRAPPY
Well, master... I didn't know if
you knew this, but...
Flames flare behind Satan.
SATAN
I AM THE PRINCE OF DARKNESS! THERE
IS NOTHING I DO NOT KNOW!
SCRAPPY
(terrified)
Apologies master.
The flames die down.
SATAN
But just to be sure we're on the
same page here, what are you
talking about?
SCRAPPY
Well, master... this day marks the
one year anniversary of my
promotion to your number one
servant.
SATAN
So it does. You have served me
well, Scrappy Doo.
SCRAPPY
Gee, thanks. Anywho, I humbly ask
that you... You know... Allow me to
invoke my wrath on my Uncle Scooby
and those bastard friends of his.
Satan rises.
SATAN
You wish to carry out a personal
vendetta?
SCRAPPY
No, master! I would never dream of
it! I just want to kill some
people and drag their souls to hell
to get them back for something they
did for me.
SATAN
So, you wish to carry out a
personal vendetta.
SCRAPPY
I suppose if you want to get
technical about it. Yeah! Yeah, I
do! My uncle Scooby and the gang
just sit there as I drowned in Lake
Mead. Not a one of them even
lifted a finger to save me!
KATHY
Who could blame them? You're the
Yoko Ono of the cartoon world.
SCRAPPY
I deserve vengeance, master!
Satan sighs.
SATAN
My former number one said the same
thing.
SCRAPPY
Master, please don't compare me to
Fluffy the Hamster!
SATAN
You know, you're a lot like Fluffy
the Hamster.
SCRAPPY
ARGH!
SATAN
Fluffy was blinded by vengeance.
His hate clouded his judgement and
that was his ultimate undoing.
Scrappy, you DO know what happens
to an agent of Hell who is killed
again, don't you?
SCRAPPY
(rolls his eyes)
They are simply gone. They don't
go to hell, they don't go to
heaven, they are simply gone for
good as if they never existed.
Look, it was all in the "Welcome to
Hell" brochure I got when I got
here!
SATAN
Then you should also know that we
should learn from past mistakes,
including those mistakes made by
others. Your vengeance must wait,
Scrappy.
Scrappy isn't happy, but he manages to hide it.
SCRAPPY
I understand, master.
Satan gets down on one knee and puts a hand on Scrappy's
shoulder.
SATAN
Someday, Scrappy... You and I will
rule the reality plane and then,
you shall make Scooby suffer as I
will Liam Smith for an eternity.
Scrappy looks down. He's disappointed.
SCRAPPY
Yes, master.
SATAN
Now, I believe you have a child
molester, a serial killer, a
whaler, and television network
executive to condemn for me, don't
you?
KATHY
So THAT'S how UPN stayed on the
air!
SCRAPPY
I'll get right on it, master.
Scrappy turns and walks out of the room. Satan and Kathy
watches him go.
KATHY
I don't know why you waste your
time with him, master.
SATAN
Potential, Kathy... Great
Potential. A lot like Fluffy, but
unlike Fluffy I will hone this one
and he will serve me in fire and in
darkness and he will never disobey
me!
INT. HELL - SCRAPPY'S DOMAIN
Scrappy is standing on an outcropping of rock that overlooks
a lake of fire. He looks down into the flames and raises his
hands. The flames grow and begin to form figures. SCOOBY
DOO, FRED, DAPHNIE, and VELMA. Scrappy glares at them.
SCRAPPY
I refuse to wait any longer. I'll
show the master that I am worthy by
disposing of both Mysteries Inc.
AND his hated enemy, LIAM SMITH!
MUSIC STING
FADE OUT
--------------
THEME SONG (sung to the theme of "The Jeffersons")
Hey you better perk up!
(better perk up!)
'Cause it's time...
(you better perk up!)
...for the internet show that's one of a kind!
You better perk up!
(better perk up!)
Don't you know?
(better perk up!)
It's time for the Liam Smith Show!
It don't air on the TV! Just right here on the net!
No networks would touch this thing,
and that is a real sure bet!
Don't you go and get depressed!
An internet show's more fun!
A lot of what you see is up to you,
Just use your imagination!
Hey you better perk up!
(better perk up!)
'Cause it's time...
(you better perk up!)
...for the internet show that's one of a kind!
You better perk up!
(better perk up!)
Don't you know?
(better perk up!)
It's time for the Liam Smith Shooooooooooooooooow!
OLÉ!
------------
THE LIAM SMITH SHOW
Starring
Dian Bachar
as
"Liam Smith"
and
John Ryhs-Davies
as
"Professor Arturo"
Guest Starring
Michael Nelson
as
"Thad Coffey"
Robert Floyd
as
"Bippo the Clown"
David Peckinpah
as
"Satan"
Reese Witherspoon
as
"Kathy Hilter"
and
Cameron Diaz
as
"Stacy VaVoom
Special Guest Stars
Robert Duncan McNeil
as
"Fred"
Julia Roberts
as
"Daphnie"
Janeane Garofalo
as
"Velma"
and
Kevin Bacon
as
"Shaggy"
--------------
INT. LIAM'S APARTMENT - DAY
The room is empty. LIAM SMITH enters with STACY VaVOOM.
Both of them are laughing.
LIAM
...and so Bippo says, "No, dummy!
That's what the crowbar is for!"
Stacy and Liam laugh. They both sit on the couch.
STACY
But Bippo seems like such a
gentlemen when I'm around!
LIAM
You seem to have an effect on him.
Maybe you have a calming effect on
his insanity.
STACY
Or maybe he just wants to get in my
pants.
LIAM
That would have been my second
guess.
They laugh.
STACY
I had a good time, Liam. Thanks
for inviting me out.
LIAM
Oh, it was no problem. I got the
complimentary tickets from Kevin
Riley.
STACY
Where does he get all of that stuff
from? I thought he ran a
restaurant!
LIAM
He did, but it went under after the
earthquake. Whatever he's doing
now seems to be making him a lot of
money, but it's none of my business
and I try not to be nosey. So,
what are you doing tomorrow? When
are you going to wake up? What
will you be wearing? What are you
having for breakfast?
STACY
I'll call you.
Stacy blows him a playful kiss and exits. Liam smiles, turns
around and is shocked to see THAD and BIPPO sitting on his
couch, eating his food, and watching his TV.
THAD
So, you and Stacy, huh?
LIAM
AHHH! I Mean, HEY! What are you
two doing in here? HOW did you
get in!
BIPPO
You were so goo-goo eyed while ago,
we just let ourselves in. I gotta
admit, Liam... You and Stacy? I
did not see this coming.
LIAM
It's not what you think. Stacy and
I are just friends.
THAD
Who bone a lot.
LIAM
NO! We haven't done anything like
that! We're just friends!
THAD
Who bone?
LIAM
NO BONING!
BIPPO
You know, you're a real boring
person, Liam.
The doorbell rings. Liam answers it revealing FRED, DAPHNIE,
VELMA, SHAGGY, and a very impressive and expensive-looking
CGI SCOOBY DOO.
LIAM
Freddy? Thelma? Daphnie? Shaggy?
Scoob?
FRED
We came as fast as we could!
LIAM
You did?
DAPHNIE
Yes, Liam! As soon as we heard the
news.
LIAM
(sour)
You... Did?
THELMA
It's so wonderful, isn't it!?
LIAM
(screaming)
FOR THE LAST TIME, STACY AND I ARE
NOT HAVING SEX!!!
DORIS
(through wall)
Thanks for the mental picture,
Liam!
SHAGGY
Like, what are you talking about?
We're here because Mysteries Inc.
was awarded the President's Medal
of Honor for Mystery Solving!
Didn't you get our telegram?
There's a knock at the door. Liam goes to answer it
revealing a man in a UPS uniform.
MAN
Telegram for Liam Smith!
Liam takes it and slams the door in the man's face.
LIAM
(reading)
Dear Liam Stop. Coming to Las Vegas
Stop. Prepare many scooby snacks
stop. Why do I keep writing stop?
Stop.
EVERYONE
STOP!
Liam snaps out of it.
LIAM
What's going on again?
FRED
We told you! We're here to accept
the award you nominated us for!
LIAM
What are you talking about? I
never nominated you for an--
Suddenly, hellfire erupts in the middle of the room.
Everyone reacts except for Bippo who calmly sticks a
marshmallow on the end of a stick and starts roasting it.
Scrappy Doo walks out of the fire.
SCOOBY
Row rit! Rit's rat rastard Rappy
Roo!
LIAM
Scrappy Doo! What are you doing
here!
SCRAPPY
Simple, my feeble minded fool! I'm
here for revenge! YOU LET ME
DIE!!!
THELMA
(shrugs)
Well, yeah... You sucked.
Scrappy grows angry and points at Thelma.
SCRAPPY
YOU DIE FIRST!!!
Demons emerge from the hellfire and cover Thelma. Before
anyone can react, Thelma is dragged into the flames and
roasted alive. Only her crispy bones remain behind. Scrappy
laughs maniacally and vanishes. The fires subside and Bippo
pops the marshmallow into his mouth.
FRED
Sweet Mary Mother of God! Thelma's
dead!
SHAGGY
Hey, I'm beginning to think that
there isn't an award after all!
EXT. A CEMETERY
Liam, Fred, Daphnie, Scooby, Bippo, and Thad and creeping
among the headstones.
SHAGGY
(terrified)
Like, why are we here, man? This
place is about a ten on the
sphincter meter!
SCOOBY
Reah! Rime rabout roo rit ryself!
LIAM
Guys, relax. We're here to consult
our occult expert.
DAPHNIE
What about Mister Hilter?
LIAM
(a pause)
He died.
DAPHNIE
Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. How
did it happen.
THAD
(quickly)
Old age.
FRED
But he seemed so healthy!
THAD
Old age.
FRED
Well, whatever the reason. Are you
taking us to his gravestone so that
we can concur up his spirit?
LIAM
No. The last time we did that, he
told us to leave him the hell
alone. We're going to visit Drew
Fangtastic. He's a vampire, so I'd
tie those scarves of yours a little
extra tight if I were you.
SHAGGY
V-V-V-V-Vampire!
Lightning crashes illuminating the tomb of Liberache and the
home of Drew Fangtastic.
LIAM
Well, I guess we'd better go
inside.
Liam knocks on the door.
LIAM
Drew? Let us in!
No answer. Liam tries to force the door open. No luck.
FRED
Here, let me try.
Fred pulls on the door with all of his might. Finally, it
flies open revealing a big dark SHAPE of black smoke. The
cloud of smoke turns into the demonic face of Scrappy Doo.
SCRAPPY
TWO DOWN! THREE TO GO!!!
Scrappy's face disappears and tendrils lash out grabbing Fred
and sucking him into the cloud with dissipates leaving
nothing behind except a burned pair of bell-bottoms.
DAPHNIE
FRED!!!
BIPPO
Wow! Not even his blonde hair and
boyish good looks could save him!
Liam snatches a note from the door.
LIAM
(reading)
Gone for the week. Eating
troublemakers in Southampton. Push
mail under door. Love Drew.
Liam crumples the note.
SHAGGY
Like, who can save us now?
LIAM
I can think of only ONE man!
INT. ARTURO'S APARTMENT
PROFESSOR ARTURO sits thoughtfully in his chair as he listens
to the story told by Liam, Shaggy, Daphnie, Bippo, and Thad.
TRIUMPH THE INSULT COMIC DOG is there as well.
ARTURO
Well, I'm flattered that you came
to me first, Liam. This is a grave
situation.
LIAM
Well, I didn't exactly come to you
first, professor. I tried to call
Mr. T and get his help, but all I
got was his answering machine.
ARTURO
I see.
LIAM
You should have heard his leave a
message message.
ARTURO
Uh-huh.
LIAM
(bad impression)
I PITY THE PO' FOO' THAT DON'T
LEAVE NO MESSAGE!
ARTURO
Liam, shut up about Mr. T. Now, as
I was saying... We have a dilemma.
Scrappy Doo is trying to kill the
remaining members of the Mystery
Machine gang.
DAPHNIE
Mysteries Inc.
ARTURO
Since when?
DAPHNIE
Since "A Pup Named Scooby Doo".
ARTURO
Getting back to business, I foresee
only one way out of this situation.
We must appeal to Scrappy's
humanity.
THAD
How can Scrappy have humanity?
He's a dog!
ARTURO
And so are you three days of the
month so what's your point? Okay,
so we appeal to Scrappy's...
(he searches for the word)
Canine-ity. I think that if you
remind him of all of the good times
you had together, he will forgive
you and allow you to live.
Daphnie gets up and walks out of frame.
LIAM
Professor, are you serious?
Scrappy's working for SATAN now!
ARTURO
No one is beyond redemption, my
boy. You'd do good to remember
that.
SHAGGY
But, like... Scrappy's so evil now.
I mean before he died, he was just
annoying, but now he's, like,
Marilyn Manson evil! And you want
us to appeal to his good side?
Professor Arturo, he doesn't HAVE a
good side!
ARTURO
Everyone has a good side, Shaggy.
The trick is to find it and...
(a beat)
Say, where's that Daphnie girl?
Everyone looks around.
SHAGGY
Maybe she went to the bathroom.
SCOOBY
Yeah, roo row rake a rit!
ARTURO
You mean you left her alone!?
BIPPO
I offered to go to the bathroom
with her!
Arturo jumps up and runs to the bathroom door. He knocks on
it with urgency.
ARTURO
Daphnie!? Are you in there!?
No answer. Arturo breaks the door down revealing that the
bathroom walks are covering in blood and bits of purple
clothing and red hair. Daphnie's mutilated head is resting
in the toilet. On the mirror written in blood is the message
"SHAGGY IS NEXT!".
THAD
I just want everyone to know that I
had nothing to do with this.
LIAM
My god! She's been pureed
THAD
I just want to make it perfectly
clear that this is not my fault!
ARTURO
Well know, I suppose there's only
one thing left to do.
SHAGGY
M-M-Move to Canada and change our
names?
ARTURO
No. We must confront Scrappy were
he least expects it!
BIPPO
J.C. Penny's?
ARTURO
HELL!!!
Music sting.
LIAM
You want us to go to HELL and face
down the second in command of
Satan? Professor, are you NUTS!?
SHAGGY
Like, NO WAY!
SCOOBY
Ruh-uh! Ruhhhh-uh!
ARTURO
Oh, come on! Would you do it for a
Scooby snack?
SCOOBY
Row ray!
ARTURO
How about two?
SCOOBY
Ruh-uh!
ARTURO
Okay, would you do it for ten
scooby snacks?
Scooby is tempted.
SCOOBY
Roooooow... Row-kay!
Arturo tosses Scooby the Scooby-snacks, but Shaggy catches
them and eats them in mid-air. He happily chews them up and
swallows them. Scooby is pissed.
SCOOBY
Rew run ruv ray rich!
Scooby goes for Shaggy's jugular vein. Shaggy grabs a chair
and tries to beat Scooby off of him. Liam, Bippo, and Thad
watch.
THAD
Why wasn't THIS ever on TV?
INT. ARTURO'S APARTMENT - MOMENTS LATER
Scooby and Shaggy are standing to the side. Both are bruised
and bloody messes from their recent fight. Bippo and Liam
are watching them.
SHAGGY
(to Scooby)
...and you say your not addicted to
Scooby Snacks. I'm telling you,
they're laced with something! Why
else do we always have the
munchies?
LIAM
Well, that and you're talking to a
dog.
SCOOBY
Aw, Ruck roo!
LIAM
Isn't that cute? He said "I love
you!"
Arturo and Thad enter. Arturo is holding Drew's hell timer.
ARTURO
We got it!
LIAM
Drew's hell timer?
ARTURO
Yes, the device that will give us
instant access to the dark
underworld! I...
(sees Shaggy and Scooby)
Oh, nice to see that merciless
mongrel hasn't killed you yet.
BIPPO
What took you so long? Oh, wait...
let me guess. Thad chased cars,
didn't he?
ARTURO
A little, but Drew's home is a
mess!
THAD
Did you know he has an entire
collection of werewolf pelts in his
underwear drawer!? It's freaky!
ARTURO
I'd say it was even more freaky
that you went through his underwear
drawer.
THAD
I just did it so I could sprinkle a
little garlic powder on his
knickers.
(a beat)
Beat he'll be wondering where THAT
rash came from. Serves him right
for fighting with me!
Arturo activates the timer and a giant red wormhole forms in
the floor.
ARTURO
I've set the timer to ten minutes.
Are you ready to go?
SHAGGY
I changed my mind, man! I don't
wanna go!
Bippo walks over and puts a hand on Shaggy's shoulder.
BIPPO
Shaggy, I understand that you're
afraid. That's a natural thing.
But on the other hand-
Bippo shoves Shaggy into the wormhole, turns around and boots
Scooby inside.
SCOOBY
Ruther rucker!
Bippo holds his nose and leaps in. Thad follows.
LIAM
Are you sure about this, professor?
ARTURO
No. Not really. And because I'm
so unsure, you go first!
Arturo pushes him in.
ARTURO
Just like old times!
Arturo jumps in.
INT. THE WORMHOLE
The camera zooms through the twisting tunnels of light and
color. Thad, Bippo, Scooby, Shaggy, Arturo, and Liam all fly
through the corridor. For some reason, a cow flies by.
INT. HELL
The gang falls onto the floor of a bathroom. Sitting in a
stall, DEATH looks up from a copy of "playskeleton" magazine
featuring a centerfold of Calista Flockard.
DEATH
Excuse me, but this is Death's
private time.
INT. HELL
The gang walks out of the bathroom and into the main torture
area.
LIAM
We'll never find Scrappy in this!
BIPPO
Oh, yes we will.
Bippo walks over to a desk labeled "INFORMATION" and gets in
line behind a few demons.
INFORMATION CLERK
Next please?
DEMON #1
Where can I get a replacement
pitchfork?
INFORMATION CLERK
Acquisitions and supplies, level
345. Next?
DEMON #2
What part of the human body would
generate the most pain if I used a
red-hot poker?
INFORMATION CLERK
The ass. Next please?
DEMON #3
Do you validate parking?
INFORMATION CLERK
No. Next?
BIPPO
Where can I find Scrappy Doo?
INFORMATION CLERK
Level 666. Holding area 6.
BIPPO
Muchos grab-ass.
INT. HELL - LEVEL 666
An elevator dings and the gangs piles out.
LIAM
You know, I hate hell. It's dark,
it stinks, and it's as hot as...
Well, HELL!
SHAGGY
I wanna go home!
ARTURO
We will as soon as we end Scrappy
Doo's reign of terror!
THAD
Here it is! Holding area 6!
They open the door.
INT. HOLDING AREA 6
Shaggy pokes his head in the door and reacts in shock.
SHAGGY
GUYS!
In the holding area, Fred, Daphnie, and Thelma are in cages.
Shaggy and Scooby run up to them.
SHAGGY
Like, we saw you DIE!
FRED
It was all a deception!
THELMA
Yeah, Scrappy did it to fool you
into coming down here!
ARTURO
WHAT!?
Suddenly, a mighty war cry is heard.
SCRAPPY
TAH-DAH-DAH-DAT-DAT-DAAAAAH!!!
PUPPY POWER!!!!
Scrappy swings down from the ceiling nailing Shaggy in the
head with a flying kick. Immediately, he leaps into the air
doing a backflip over Arturo's head and kicking him in the
back of the head. Before Thad and Bippo can react, Scrappy
leaps over them and bangs their heads together. Scrappy
lands gracefully in front of Liam and licks the blood off of
his lip.
SCRAPPY
So, Liam Smith... We meet again!
LIAM
Why are you doing this, Scrappy?
SCRAPPY
WHY!? You want a motive!? Let me
tell you something, Smith! I was
just a normal puppy back in the day
until some execs decided that my
uncle Scooby's show needed a little
extra kick and brought me on board,
but did people love me? Did they
adore me? NO, THEY HATED ME!!!
WHY DID THEY HATE ME SO!?
LIAM
Well, you WERE kind of annoying.
SCRAPPY
Just for that, I'm going to kill
you last and in the most painful
way the demons from Hell can come
up with! That will show my master
that Scrappy Doo is a force to be
respected! But first...
Scrappy Doo holds out his paw. Razor-sharp claws erupt from
his pudgy little fingers. He holds Scooby's head up and
prepares to cut his throat.
SCRAPPY
First I'm going to cancel my Uncle
Scooby, PERMANENTLY!!!
THELMA
NO, DON'T DO IT SCRAPPY!!!
SCRAPPY
Why not, you mop-sucking whore
bag!?
THELMA
BECAUSE HE'S YOUR FATHER!!!
Scrappy's eyes go wide. He drops Scooby's head on the ground
and back away.
SCRAPPY
My... My father?
THELMA
And I'M your mother!
SCRAPPY
WHAT!?
THELMA
We were young, Scrappy! We were
young and in love! I didn't think
I would get pregnant, but I did and
had you! But the world frowned on
mixed marriages back in the
seventies especially human and
canine, so Scooby send you to live
with his cousin Dumb-Dumb.
SCRAPPY
(shocked)
I-I can't believe this!
LIAM
Actually, it does make sense.
You're a dog who walks upright and
talks perfect English. You're
obviously half human.
SCRAPPY
THAT'S DISGUSTING!!!
LIAM
Well, yeah... it is. Not only are
you an abomination in death, but
you were an abomination in life as
well.
SCRAPPY
THIS CHANGES NOTHING!!! YOU STILL
LET ME DIE AND I'M STILL GOING TO
KILL YOU!!!
LIAM
There's still got to be some good
in you, Scrappy!
FRED
There was never any good in him to
begin with, Liam! He's been
torturing us for hours with our
deepest fears and inner demons! He
even told me that Freddie Prince
Jr. is going to play me in a live
action remake! MY GOD, LIAM!!! HE
IS PURE EVIL!!!
LIAM
Oh, right... Sooooo we're screwed,
right?
DAPHNIE
Pretty much.
LIAM
Crap.
SCRAPPY
DIE, LIAM SMITH!!!
Scrappy leaps into the air and, in slow motion, bears his
razor sharp claws down on Liam's neck. Just before the claws
pierce Liam's skin, a mighty hand sweeps into the picture and
bats Scrappy away. Scrappy flies across the room and into a
wall. Liam looks up and sees...
LIAM
MISTER T!
Mr. T helps Liam to his feet.
MR. T
Sorry ah was so late, Liam! Ah
didn't check mah answering machine
right away!
LIAM
How'd you get down here in Hell?
MR. T
Ah you kiddin'? My van can go
anywhere anytime and anyplace!
Mr. T points out the door to the 1982 Custom GMC Van sitting
out in the hallway.
FRED
Wow, thanks Mr. T!
DAPHNIE
You're our hero!
Mr. T yanks the bars off the cage releasing the trapped
members of Mysteries Inc.
MR. T
Ain't no thang, pretty lady.
Suddenly, Scrappy leaps onto Mr. T and grabs his gold chains.
SCRAPPY
NO ONE DEFIES SCRAPPY THE
MERCILOUS!
Mr. T grabs Scrappy by the throat and holds him up in the
air.
MR. T
I pity the poo' foo' who touch mah
gold chains!
He wraps a gold chain around Scrappy's body and tosses him
into a near-by river of lava. Scrappy thrashes in the lava
for a second, and then disappears below the molten liquid.
FRED
Mr. T! You just killed Scrappy
Doo!
MR. T
Scrappy Doo ain't dead, you stupid
cracker Evil don't never die!
The timer begins to beep.
LIAM
Well, our portal back to the
surface is about to open back up.
Thanks for saving us, Mr. T. Is
there anything we can do for you?
MR. T
Just tell Chocolate Treat that Mr.
T says hi!
Mr. T jumps in his van and speeds away. Liam opens the
wormhole and, with Fred, Daphnie, and Thelma's help, begins
dragging their unconscious friends to the opening.
EXT. UPDA CREEK APARTMENTS
The Scooby-Doo gang have piled into the MYSTERY MACHINE and
are about to depart. Liam, Thad, Bippo, and the professor
are saying their good-byes.
LIAM
Well, good luck, gang. I hope that
next time we meet, things won't be
nearly as Gothic.
FRED
Same here, Liam.
THELMA
(with a wink)
Good-bye, Bippo.
BIPPO
(a growl)
Bye, tiger!
The mystery machine pulls away and head off into the sunset.
LIAM
I'm going to miss them.
BIPPO
I'm going to miss Thelma.
THAD
Dude, you DO know that she was
boinking Scooby, didn't you?
BIPPO
(a beat)
Oh... I guess that explains her
favorite position.
INT. HELL
Satan is sitting on his throne. He raises one hand and a
wave of hellfire appears in front of him. Scrappy-Doo
materializes.
SCRAPPY
What the...!? How did I?
SATAN
I hope you realize now why personal
vendettas are a no-no, Scrappy Doo!
SCRAPPY
What am I doing here? I thought I
was dead!
SATAN
I saved you and, believe me, it was
no small effort. You disappoint
me, Scrappy.
SCRAPPY
Please, master! Give me another
chance!
SATAN
If I wasn't going to give you
another chance, I would have
allowed you to rot in oblivion.
Now go... But if you EVER disobey
one of my decrees again, I shall
inflict upon you a pain so great
that it makes the suffering of the
damned look like the Small World
ride at Disneyland! BE GONE!!!
Scrappy bows and quickly exits. Satan sits there in silent
contemplation. Suddenly, a pair of red glowing eyes appear
behind him in the shadows. A whispery voice speaks.
VOICE
(whispering)
You will conquer the earth, dark
one.
Satan whirls around, but the eyes have vanished.
VOICE
(whispering)
Wait for me. I Am coming.
Satan looks around his throne room.
SATAN
WHO'S THERE!?
Nothing.
SATAN
ANSWER ME!!!
Still nothing. It is silent now. Satan seats himself and
looks around. It's obvious that the master of evil, for the
first time in eons, is frightened. He sits uncomfortably
down as we...
FADE OUT
THE END
ROLL CREDITS