The Liam Smith Show
Episode 2.36 - Bad Blood
Written by Phil Moyer and Dustin Kaster
PREVIOUSLY ON THE LIAM SMITH SHOW:
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Episode 2.16 - "Capeman: The Fury of P.E.N.I.S."
CHOCOLATE TREAT
Liam, I want your penis!
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And now, the conclusion...
INT. LIAM'S APARTMENT
It is a beautiful Las Vegas day. The sun is shining brightly.
LIAM SMITH is asleep. There is a knock on the door. It is
THAD COFFEY and BIPPO THE CLOWN.
LIAM
Go away.
THAD
Wake up Liam. We're going to be
late for the juggling competition.
LIAM
I can't believe I got talked into
going to a juggling competition on
a Saturday morning.
Liam has a picture of Kari Wuhrer stuck to his hand.
LIAM
That's the last time I fall asleep
gluing pictures in my scrapbook.
BIPPO
Get up! If I miss Arnold Stevenson,
the best juggler in the world, I'll
be very mad. He can juggle his own
weight.
LIAM
Alright. I'm coming.
Liam opens the door.
THAD
Morning Vegas!
LIAM
Vegas?
THAD
You know, your nickname. Cause you
live in Las Vegas.
LIAM
Well so do you.
BIPPO
Shut up and get dressed, Mickey
Mouse undies boy!
LIAM
Fine.
INT. JUGGLING COMPETITION
Tourists who were hoping to see an actual attraction like
Neil Diamond, are packed wall to wall to see the juggling
competition. Arnold Stevenson is just about to begin
juggling.
BIPPO
Whew, just in time. Liam, looks
like today you learn what it is to
truly live.
ANNOUNCER
Ladies and gentlemen, for your
viewing entertainment, Arnold
Stevenson! He will now be juggling
four bowling balls!
ARNOLD
Here I go… opps!
Arnold misses a bowling ball and it goes hurtling into the
stands. The camera focuses on Liam as the bowling ball hits
him in the head.
BIPPO
Oh my God! Look at the blood!
THAD
Call an ambulance!
THE LIAM SMITH SHOW
Starring
Dian Bachar
as
"Liam Smith"
and
John Ryhs-Davies
as
"Professor Arturo"
Also Starring
Cameron Diaz
as
"Stacy VaVoom"
Michael Nelson
as
"Thad Coffey"
Robert Floyd
as
"Bippo the Clown"
Rupaul
as
"Chocolate Treat"
Guest Starring
David Hopper
As
Drew Fangtastic
Al Franken
As
"Arnold Stevenson"
Tina Fey
As
"Nurse"
Neil Diamond
As
"Neil Diamond"
Introducing
Phil Moyer
as
"Dr. Lomyr H. Pie"
and
Dustin Kaster
as
"Dr. Knit U. Dasster"
INT. HOSPITAL ROOM
Liam is lying in bed beginning to wake up.
LIAM
Uh… what happened? Where am I? Why
am I naked?
Enter DR. KNIT U. DASSTER and DR. LOMYR H. PIE.
DR. DASSTER
Relax, that's normal procedure. But
I'm afraid you'll never use your
penis again.
LIAM
Oh my God no! I'm getting married
soon!
DR. DASSTER
We also took a sample of your
stool.
LAIM
Why? I don't even know what my
stool is?
DR. DASSTER
Because Dr. Pie and I…hey, that
rhymes. Oh, we like to say the word
'stool'.
DR. PIE
Hee hee. And it also seems that you
have had a near death experience.
LIAM
Again? That can't be right.
DR. DASSTER
Ooops! We're looking at the wrong
chart. Can you believe we're
doctors?
DR. PIE
Yeah and we get paid to do this!
DR. DASSTER
It looks like you've lost a lot of
blood. You're going to need a
defusion… or something.
The NURSE enters.
NURSE
Doctors, we already gave him a
blood transfusion.
DR. PIE
Oh that means we don't have to do
anything.
DR. DASSTER
Is this even our patient? Maybe we
should find the guy who this chart
belongs to, broken penis guy. He's
in for a shock.
DR. PIE
I think we're on the wrong floor
again. Let's wait 10 minutes, and
then we'll find penis man.
INT. HOSPITAL WAITING ROOM
Bippo is sitting down reading People magazine. ARTURO, STACEY
VAVOOM, and CHOCOLATE TREAT enter.
ARTURO
We just heard the news and came
over right away. Is Liam okay?
BIPPO
I think so. Sheesh, this really
makes you think, doesn't it?
STACY
Life is too short; you should live
it to the fullest.
BIPPO
No, I was thinking about how People
magazine sucks.
CHOCOLATE TREAT
Thank God Liam is okay. I was
crying the whole way over here. I'm
going to the men's room to clean
up.
STACY
Don't you mean the LADIE'S room?
CHOCOLATE TREAT
Oh, of course. The men's room is
probably filthy. Good idea, Stacy.
EXIT Chocolate Treat.
ENTER TRIUMPH.
TRIUMPH
…for me to poop on!
STACY
What are you talking about? I guess
you heard about poor Liam's
accident?
TRIUMPH
Liam was in an accident? I didn't
know that. I come here every
Saturday to entertain the children.
We share drinks, smokes, and a
whole lot of fun.
ARTURO
Clearly Triumph has a heart of
gold.
ENTER CAPEMAN
CAPEMAN
I was at the juggling competition;
I saw the whole thing. I flew over
as soon as Arnold finished his act.
BIPPO
You saw the rest of his act? Damn
it! What did I miss?
CAPEMAN
He juggled twelve scarves at once.
His whole body was a blur. And then
he juggled a live cow.
STACY
Only one? I'm glad I didn't go.
BIPPO
Hey!
Capeman holds Bippo back until he calms down.
STACY
Capeman, you have to sign in over
there to be in the waiting room.
CAPEMAN
Oh, okay.
Capeman signs the sheet. Stacy looks at it.
STACY
You wrote 'Capeman'. You can't do
that. You have to sign your real
name. It's the law or something.
CAPEMAN
It is? Well… okay.
Capeman signs his name again.
STACY
This should cheer Liam up when I
tell him I found out who Capeman
really is.
ARTURO
I can't help but be curious myself.
What does it say?
STACY
It's so sloppy, I can hardly read
it. I think it says 'Fenton
McQuack', but I can't be sure. Oh
well, it was a nice try.
CAPEMAN
I came down to see if Liam is okay
and you try to find out my secret
identity. How could you? I'm
leaving.
EXIT Capeman
Chocolate Treat returns from the bathroom.
CHOCOLATE TREAT
I can't wait any longer. Let's go
see Liam right now.
ARTURO
I agree.
INT. LIAM'S HOSPITAL ROOM
Liam, Dr. Dasster, and Dr. Pie are all sitting around talking
with each other.
DR. PIE
So I said "Hippocratic oath my ass!
I'm not going anywhere near that
thing!"
They all laugh.
DR. DASSTER
You think that story was good? Let
us tell you about how we graduated
medical school with a 1.1 GPA.
You're really going to love this
one, Vegas.
LIAM
Why are you calling me Vegas?
DR. DASSTER
Are you as stupid as us? You live
in Las Vegas. Duh.
LIAM
But so do YOU!
DR. PIE
But you're just such a bland person
that it's funny to call you that.
There was a knock on the door. On the other side of the door
is Arturo, Bippo, Stacy, Chocolate Treat, and Triumph.
CHOCOLATE TREAT
Let us in. We demand to see Liam
right now.
LIAM
Don't, I'm naked in here!
Chocolate Treat rushes into the room.
CHOCOLATE TREAT
Don't worry. It's nothing I haven't
seen before. Awww, it's sooo cute.
Liam quickly covers himself up with the blanket.
ARTURO
How are you feeling Liam?
LIAM
I'm okay, but these two whack job
doctors won't give me my clothes
back.
DR. DASSTER
Haha, you said whack job. That's
us. We are his physicians.
I am Dr. Knit U. Dasster. This is
my sidekick Dr. Lomyr H. Pie.
DR. PIE
Hey, who are you calling the
sidekick?
DR. DASSTER
Anywho, your friend has lost a lot
of blood. We had to give him three
pints of blood.
ENTER Thad
THAD
He has three pints of Thad,
American's finest. I feel dizzy.
ARTURO
Thank heavens you and Mr. Smith
have the same blood type.
DR. PIE
Of course they have the same blood
type. It's not like we give
transfusions with goat blood…
anymore.
ARTURO
Doctors, you do realize that there
are different types of human blood,
don't you?
DR. DASSTER
…shut up. You just can't invent
things.
ARTURO
You fools, if Liam receives the
wrong blood type it could be fatal.
However, if he did not have a
reaction by now, I suppose he'll be
fine.
Liam dies.
DR. PIE
Wait, his blinky line TV thingy is
moving yet. I think that means
something.
Liam is still alive. But begins to go into wild convulsions.
DR. DASSTER
Oh my God this is cool! This is why
I became a doctor.
STACY
Good lord, look at the hair growing
out his bald head!…Why was his head
shaved?
DR. PIE
Standard procedure. We shave
everyone everywhere.
Liam jumps out of bed. He has big fangs and has hair growing
from everywhere.
LIAM
Growl!
Liam jumps on Arturo and starts biting him.
ARTURO
I'm fat, I'll be okay until his
bites penetrate my fatty layers!
STACY
Someone do something! We're in
love!
CHOCOLATE TREAT
Liam, I want your penis.
BIPPO
Good thing you sent Capeman away,
Stacy.
STACY
Shut up.
TRIUMPH
I'll stop Liam. Soon he will be
just something for me to poop on!
Triumph fights Liam until Liam collapses. Triumph poops on
Liam.
TRIUMPH
Har har! All too easy!
STACY
That's gross.
THAD
Wow, it looks like Liam just wolfed
out. That's my trademark move! I
demand an explanation. What did you
doctors do?
DR. DASSTER
Beats us.
ARTURO
Allow me to explain. It's quite
simple really. You see, Thad has a
substance in his blood which gives
him the ability to be a werewolf.
This substance has no name, so
let's call them midichlorians.
BIPPO
Tee hee.
ARTURO
When Thad gave Liam the blood
transfusion…
DR. PIE
Defusion.
ARTURO
Uh-Yeah. This transferred the
midichlorians into Liam. Thus, now
Liam is a Werewolf, but Thad is
not. It's that easy. Of course Liam
is not fully a werewolf which is
why Triumph was able to defeat him.
The fact that Liam is a pansy
probably helped too.
THAD
I'm not a werewolf anymore?
ARTURO
Yes, you should be happy.
STACY
But what about Liam?
ARTURO
Naturally, he's screwed. Let's slap
a werewolf patch on him and go home
to the apartments.
----------------------------------------
Commercial
It's the one night when Hollywood pretends to like country
music. The Country Music Awards, tonight at 8!
----------------------------------------
INT. LIAM'S APARTMENT.
Stacy and Bippo are sitting around watching TV. Liam is on
the couch and begins to wake up.
BIPPO
How are you doing Vegas?
LIAM
I am feeling great. Truly my
friend, it is a dog's life. This
has really been a great turning
point in my life. Now I can just
sit at home and scratch myself all
day.
STACY
Liam, you need to shave. You look
terrible.
BIPPO
How can you stand all that hair?
LIAM
Sure in some places I have more
hair than I know what to do with,
but over all I'm pleased. For the
first time in my life I have chest
hair! And with these teeth I can
chew a milk bone in like two
seconds flat.
INT. THAD'S APARTMENT
Thad and the Professor are talking.
THAD
I just don't think I can do it
Professor. I can't go on living if
I'm not a werewolf. Remember the
kid who played Eddie Munster? Look
at what happened to him when he
stopped being a werewolf.
ARTURO
Thad, don't talk like that. I
realize that this has been an
important part of your life for the
past few years. But don't think of
it as losing part of your life.
Think of what you're gaining.
You're a normal member of the human
race again. Sure you're losing a
great conversation starter for
dinner parties, but now there won't
be any more moonlight hooker
snacks. Don't tell me that waking
up with dead hooker breath wasn't
embarrassing.
THAD
I'll say it was. I've had my fair
share of run-ins with the SPCA.
ARTURO
Keep going. I'm sure there are
more bad memories.
THAD
And there was that time someone
entered me in the Westminster dog
show.
ARTURO
And…?
THAD
And there were all of the times
when someone walked into my room
and caught me licking myself in
less than appropriate places.
ARTURO
And that Doogen fellow shouldn't be
after you anymore. That's good.
THAD
We got off to a bad start. I have
a feeling he'd still try to kill
me.
ARTURO
Oh. Well, you'll never get worms
again. That's good isn't it?
THAD
Yeah!
ARTURO
There you go boy. You're convinced
now.
THAD
That's right. Thanks Professor for
helping me to realize that I must
do whatever necessary to become a
werewolf again!
ARTURO
You're wel- wait -aw, forget it.
Thad reaches into the trash.
THAD
If I just start using these
werewolf patches again I can grow a
dependency to them. I bet I can
wear about twenty five of them at
once.
Arturo exits. KEVIN RILEY enters.
KEVIN
Yo, man, I came over as soon as I
got the call. I brought my makeup
bag.
THAD
Okay Kevin, it's time to make me
into a werewolf.
The song 'Who Let the Dogs Out?' begins to play.
THAD
Kevin, make me look like a werewolf
again.
KEVIN
You got it. But can we turn off
that gay music first?
THAD
No. It's essential to setting the
mood. Let me out of my cage baby.
KEVIN
Okay… Let's see what fine Mary Kay
cosmetics I can find for you in my
makeup bag. Prostethic hair is a
must.
I'm not sure what to do to make the
skin on your whole body dog
colored. A few layers of this fake
tan lotion might do the trick. And
this stuff will be great for your
face.
THAD
Mascara?
KEVIN
Yeah. It's called 'Quiet Night's
Sand,' but believe me, it's dog
colored. I use it on my dog all
the time, and she loves it.
THAD
Oh, well if you use it on your dog
I guess I can use it too.
KEVIN
And this next item has nothing to
do with dogs, but you just HAVE TO
use this lipstick.
THAD
I draw the line at lipstick.
KEVIN
But it's the perfect shade for you.
THAD
I guess I'll try anything once.
Thad looked at the mirror while he put on the lipstick.
THAD
Holy crap, I look great! Do you
think anyone will be able to notice
that I'm wearing lipstick?
KEVIN
Can you tell that I'M wearing
lipstick?
THAD
Dude! Hook me up with some more of
this stuff.
KEVIN
I'm all done. What do you think?
THAD
I might pass for an oversized sewer
rat. Thanks for the lipstick at
least. I was afraid I would have
to do this. The only way to become
a werewolf again is to get my blood
back.
INT. LIAM'S APARTMENT
LIAM
Wee hee hee! Look at me Stacy! I
have fleas! (to flees) Come my
little hungry friends. Crawl on
me. LIVE ON ME!
STACY
Liam, keep it down! I'm trying to
make a phone call!
Stacy dials a phone number while she mumbles 'Please be home,
please be home, please be home.' The answering machine
clicks on.
ANSWERING MACHINE
Hello. You've reached the Capeman
Crisis Hotline. I'm screening my
phone calls right now, but if you
are willing to pay large sums of
money to me to solve a crisis,
please leave a message after the
beep and I'll get to you as soon as
possible. If this is Stacy VaVoom
calling, GET OUT OF MY LIFE OR I
WILL KILL YOU! Have a nice day.
Stacy hangs up.
STACY
Darn it. I think Capeman is still
mad at me for trying to discover
his secret identity earlier today.
LIAM
There's a reason that he has a
SECRET identity, you know.
Sometimes you can be such an
asshole Stacy.
STACY
ME? I only did it once. You've
tried to find his identity tons of
times.
You would have done the same thing
if you hadn't been passed out in
the hospital room.
Enter DREW FANGTASTIC
FANGTASTIC
Liam, I heard about the situation
involving your blood. I am sorry.
It must be terrible to have
WEREWOLF blood. I speak from
experience when I say I know how
you feel.
LIAM
This has happened to you?
FANGTASTIC
Yes, how do you think I got this
accent? Ha ha, just kidding. I
just came over to tell you that now
I hate you because you're a
werewolf. You will now receive
weekly beatings from me. Let's set
a schedule right now, it's easier
than me sneaking up to you in a
dark alley. How are your Mondays?
LIAM
Well, I have work. And then
there's the CBS comedy lineup at
night, so that's no good. The
weekend is no good either. How
about Thursdays?
FANGTASTIC
I watch the 'Will and Grace' show.
I just love homosexual comedy.
Tuesday?
LIAM
Yeah, Tuesday is good.
Enter Dr. Lomyr H. Pie and Dr. Knit U. Dasster
DR. PIE
Hey everybody!
LIAM
Doctors! Are you making a house
call or something?
DR. DASSTER
Ha ha, yeah right. No, we're
looking for Thad.
STACY
His apartment is down the hall.
DR. DASSTER
Thanks. Hey Lomyr, look! It's
Fangtastic!
FANGTASTIC
Hello my friends.
STACY
Fangtastic, you know these two
quacks?
FANGTASTIC
Yes, of course. I was visiting the
hospital morgue to do some blood
sucking, and these two were doing
all kinds of strange things to do
to the dead bodies.
DR. PIE
Yeah, we've had a lot of crazy
times in the hospital morgue.
We've spent countless hours
admitting bodies into the morgue.
And I tell you what, no matter how
many times you do it, it's always a
miracle.
Thad enters.
THAD
Dr. Pie, Dr. Dasster, come on. My
apartment is this way.
DR. DASSTER
Bye everybody!
FANGTASTIC
Oh Thad. I wanted you to know I
don't hate you anymore… at least
not for being a werewolf.
THAD
No more beatings?
FANGTASTIC
That's right.
THAD
Really? Not even just one more for
old times sake?
FANGTASTIC
Well… alright. I'll come over
then.
THAD
Thanks. See you guys.
Exit Thad, Dr. Pie, and Dr. Dasster
LIAM
Was it just me, or was Thad wearing
lipstick?
INT. THAD'S APARTMENT
Thad sat on a chair and Dr. Dasster and Dr. Pie shared the
couch. They were listening intently while smoking their
pipes.
DR. PIE
So what you're saying is that you
want us to give you a blood
defusion from Liam with out him
knowing.
THAD
Yes. It's the only way to get my
werewolf blood back again.
DR. DASSTER
What kind of whacky doctors do you
think we are?
THAD
Well...
DR. DASSTER
No, I'm kidding. We'll do it.
INT. LIAM'S BEDROOM
It was night. The door slowly creaked open. Three pairs of
feet slowly tiptoed inside.
THAD
(whispering) Watch your
step.
He always denies it, but
sometimes Liam plays with
his Match Box cars in
here.)
IT WAS TOO LATE. DR. DASSTER AND DR. PIE BOTH SLIP ON THE
CARS AND HIT THEIR HEADS.
PIE AND DASSTER
OUCH!
THAD
Shhh!
DR. PIE
Sheesh. What kind of grown man
plays with Match Box cars?
DR. DASSTER:
. . . Do you think we have time to
play with the cars quick? He has a
ramp set up a ramp and everything.
DR. PIE
Yeah, A RAMP!
THAD
NO! Now let's get this bloody
exchange over with.
DR. PIE
If quick is what you want, we'll
set up four 'blood pipes' at once.
That should drain Liam's blood at a
rate of one pint each 5.4 seconds.
They tried to insert Liam with four needles simultaneously.
Liam wakes up screaming.
LIAM
OUCH!
DR. DASSTER
The patient is awake! Sedate him!
Dr. Pie smashes a lamp over Liam's head.
LIAM
Ouch! That hurt even more!
DR. PIE
It didn't work. Hit him in the
head with that chair.
Dr. Dasster tries to pick up the chair.
DR. DASSTER
It's too heavy.
Dr. Pie and Dr. Dasster each grab a side of the chair and
drop it right on top on Liam who is still laying in his bed.
LIAM
Hey, that's really heavy! What are
you trying to do?
DR. PIE
Ouch! You dropped it on my
fingers!
DR. DASSTER
No, you dropped it on MY fingers!
OUCH!
THAD
Is it really that safe to be
getting this much blood this fast!
OUCH!
There was a knock on the bedroom door. Arturo, Stacy, and
Chocolate Treat enter Liam's apartment wearing their robes.
ARTURO
What's going on? We heard
screaming.
Dr. Dasster walks outside of the bedroom to explain.
DR. DASSTER
Don't worry. My associate and I
are simply doing a medical
experiment.
ARTURO
Don't worry? You must be kidding
Dr. Disaster?
DR. DASSTER
It's Dass-ter. Saying someone's
name wrong is not funny.
CHOCOLATE TREAT
That suddenly reminds me of Mr.
Hilter.
STACY
You mean the way that people called
him Hitler.
CHOCOLATE TREAT
No, it just made me wonder 'what
ever happened to Mr. Hilter's
bird?'
INT. Bippo's apartment
Bippo was feeding a bird some food pellets.
BIPPO
Yes, eat up you beautiful bird.
Soon you will be ripe for the
roasting. Bwahahahaha!
INT. LIAM'S APARTMENT
DR. DASSTER
So as I said, everything is just
fine.
Dr. Pie steps out of the bedroom.
DR. PIE
Hey Knit, we have a problem.
EXT. UPDA CREEK APARTMENTS
An ambulance drives away while ARTURO, STACY, CHOCOLATE
TREAT, DR. DASSTER and DR. PIE stand outside.
DR. DASSTER
We meant well.
----------------------------------------
COMMERCIAL
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----------------------------------------
INT. HOSPITAL ROOM
Liam and Thad are laying in separate hospital beds, side by
side. Also in the room are Arturo, Stacy, Chocolate Treat,
Dr. Dasster and Dr. Pie.
DR. PIE
I guess it all worked out for the
best in the end.
THAD
No it didn't! You guys suck!
Liam's still a werewolf, and I got
the blood from Liam that makes him
a loser.
ARTURO
It is ironic that while trying to
become yourself again, you became a
completely different person.
THAD
Shut up Fatboy!
ARTURO
All that I'm saying is that the two
of you have somehow exchanged
memories, habits, and other things
that made you yourselves. You may
as well save yourselves some time
and trade lives.
DR. DASSTER
Unless you want us to take one last
try at fixing it.
LIAM
No! No, I think we're stuck like
this.
THAD
I can feel it. I'm becoming Liam.
Suddenly I have an urge to watch a
Kari Wuhrer porno.
STACY
Liam, you told me you were over
her!
LIAM
Sorry, but it takes time to get
over a woman you worship. It's like
taking off of a band-aid. You have
to do it slowly so it doesn't hurt.
Speaking of band-aids, are you
doctors going to clot my bleeding?
THAD
Don't worry Stacy. I also sense
very strong feelings for you too.
Do you know what this means? We
have to get married!
STACY
I don't think so!
THAD
Can't you see that we're in love!
LIAM
Darn it, he's right Stacy. You may
have my girl Thad, but I can
humiliate you by revealing some of
the secrets that you've been hiding
from us. For example, you have a
crush on Sabrina Lloyd!
THAD
Um, that's ridiculous.
LIAM
It's the only way to explain these
constant urges to watch Sports
Night. Does watching Sports Night
give you the same feelings that I
get when I watch one of Kari's
pornos? You make me sick!
CHCOCOLATE TREAT
Liam, I don't care who's blood you
have. I still want you.
LIAM
Damn it!
ENTER Bippo and Arnold Stevenson
BIPPO
Guess what? I told Arnold
Stevenson about the little fiasco
that happened all because of that
mishap when he was juggling the
bowling balls, and he's agreed to
make it up to you by putting on a
private show.
ARNOLD
How does juggling chainsaws sound?
LIAM
Well, we're really not into
juggling anymore, that's more along
Bippo's interests. What would be
really cool is to see an extreme yo
yo performer. I heard they can
walk the dog through a ring of
fire.
BIPPO
Shut up Vegas, you love jugglers!
Go ahead Mr. Stevenson.
ARNOLD
I'll be calling on my new assistant
to help me with this juggling
trick. Could you come in here
Neil?
Enter NEIL DIAMOND
NEIL DIAMOND
Hello everyone.
ARNOLD
Yes, for my first trick I will be
juggling Neil Diamond.
STACY
Wow, Mr. Diamond, I've always been
a fan.
ARTURO
It is truly an honor to meet you.
NEIL DIAMOND
Well thank you very much. You are
too kind.
ARNOLD STEVENSON
Neil… I should have known this
wouldn't work out. You're supposed
to be my assistant, and you keep
trying to steal the show! It's got
to stop. We're through!
NEIL DIAMOND
Arnold, please be reasonable. You
know I'm a huge juggling fan. We
make a great team. The crowds come
to see you, not me.
ARNOLD
Get out!
Neil Diamond left.
ARNOLD
I'm sorry you had to see that. Now,
my first trick. I'll warn you now
that I never tried this before so
I'll be wearing this lead suit.
But you people should be safe as
long as you stay an arm's length
away.
Arnold turns on all of the chainsaws and begins to juggle.
But things begin to go terrible wrong. All of the chainsaws
collide in the air and there is a huge flash of light.
ARTURO
Is everyone alright?
THAD
I feel like myself again. I have
my blood back again.
LIAM
Me too. But how? It doesn't make
sense. Professor, you're smart.
What happened?
ARTURO
Oh, well obviously the
gravitational pull of the chainsaws
reacted with a solar flare
reflecting off of Saturn, causing
an electro magnetic field that -aw,
heck, I don't know. Can't we all
just be happy things are normal
again?
ENTER Nurse
NURSE
So you're back 'doctors.' Well get
out before I call security. I
checked the doctor roster and there
is no Dr. Pie or Dr. Dasster that
works at St. Peter's Memorial
Hospital.
DR. PIE
Of course Dr. Dasster. We're not
on the wrong floor. We're in the
wrong hospital. We work in Peter
Gabriel's Carnival Hospital.
DR. DASSTER
Silly us. Hey, let's go give each
other blood excussions.
DR. PIE
Defusion!
ROLL CREDITS