Review by Donner

New Line Cinema Presents
Blade: Trinity

The final hunt begins.

Reviewed 12.14.04

Written and Directed by David S. Goyer

Based on the character created by Marv Wolfman & Gene Colan

Starring Wesley Snipes, Kris Kristofferson, Ryan Reynolds, Jessica Biel, Parker Posey

FUN FACT: Jessica Biel inadvertently destroyed a $300,000 camera when she shot it with a bow and arrow during a scene. Director David S. Goyer intends to include it on the DVD release.

Blade is back and he's facing off against the king of all vampires in Blade: Trinity, supposedly the final movie in the Blade series.  In this film, Blade is set up by the vampires and labeled a murderer by the humans.  Now, not only must he fight a loosing battle against the creatures of the night, but he must also stay on the run from the police and the FBI and such.

So, when all seems lost and it looks like Blade is going to spend the rest of his life fighting alone, in comes the Nightstalkers... a elite force of vampire hunting wise-cracking fighters.  With their help, can Blade stop Dracula from enacting his final solution against humanity?  Will this be the end for everyone's favorite profanity tossing bloodsucker?

Unfortunately, by the time the end of the movie comes, you're little likely to care.  Without focus, drive, and a strong villain to work with, Blade: Trinity is a muddled mess of a movie that goes nowhere and does nothing.

Sure, the first twenty minutes of the movie hold a lot of promise as Blade and Whistler face their greatest challenge yet, but the potential of having Blade up against both the humans and the vampires is thrown away after the introduction of the Nightstalkers.

Personally, I felt this movie was more of a set up for a Nightstalkers spin-off.  Granted, a spin-off probably wouldn't be a bad thing... it does show potential, but using the last Blade movie to pimp a spinoff is just wrong.  As a fan of the first two movies, I felt absolutely cheated.

Honestly, Blade doesn't need backup.  He never has.  Sure, he had backup in Blade II, but it was really just a team he was using for his own ends.  I don't accept Blade as a team player.

I will say, though, that while Jessica Biel pretty much averaged her way through this movie, the otherwise annoying Ryan Reynolds kept Blade: Trinity from turning into a boring, moody, pile of poop.  His character injected just the right amount of sly and dirty humor into the film to keep it at least interesting when it seemed to be heading South quickly.

A definite breaking leg of this movie was the villains.  I mean, what does it say when you've got a vampire played by Triple H who is more interesting than the other vampire baddies?  How freakin' pathetic is that?

Parker Posey plays one of the main villains and, folks, she is absolutely terrible in this movie.  You can tell that this wasn't a role she took seriously and this wasn't a role she put a lot of work into.  With about three thousand hopeful actresses praying for a part like this, Parker Posey's pansy ass should have been kicked to the curb for this hack job.

The king vampire, Dracula, is a little better but not by much.  Dominic Purcell is decent enough, but in my opinion lacks a strong enough screen presence.  Of course, it doesn't help that his dialogue sounds like its better suited coming out of some moustache-twirling comic book character who spends his afternoons tying women to train tracks.

As mindless action, I suppose that Blade: Trinity is decent enough to be considered watchable, but the script is a mess - we never did find out what the hell this "final solution" was supposed to be - and the movie is just a plodding monster drowning and thrashing until it finally dies at the end.  This isn't a great movie nor a great final adventure for Blade.

Dare I say it?  It sucks!