Draco is probably rolling in his grave as we speak!

 

Review by Donner

Dragonheart: A New Beginning Directed by Doug Lefler Written by Shari Goodhartz Based on characters created by Patrick Read Johnson and Charles Edward Pouge Starring Chris Masterson, Rona Figueroa, and Robby Benson Rated PG

Dragonheart is one of my favorite movies.  It speaks to me.  Dragons, knights, and castles are cherished childhood fantasies of mine and Dragonheart brought them all to life along with a timeless story of bravery, responsibility, and love.  Not to mention, of course, that Sean Connery made a helluva dragon! Now, four years later, Universal has seen fit to make a sequel.  Do they give it an epic budget?   Noooooo.   Do they seek a big name star?  Noooooooo.   No they even release it to theaters?   Nooooooo! In this, the latest escapee from direct-to-video hell, Dragonheart is revisited and by "revisited" I mean "pissed on".  It's years after the first movie and Bowen, in the last year of his life, revisits Draco's cave and discovers a dragon's egg (I guess they keep pretty well, huh?).  Even more years pass and the young dragon named Drake is raised in a monastery in secret until a comet passes over and an ancient prophecy that says that a dragon's heart will bring evil to the land goes unfulfilled.  Drake is voice by Robbie Benson who brings little or no emotion to the roll.  In fact, I could just picture reading the script as Drake talked.   (Fun Fact:  Robby Benson also did the voice of Doctor Quest during the first season of The Real Adventures of Johnny Quest before he was fired because he sucked!)  Well, to make a long story short, Drake is befriended by a hopeful stable boy named Joff (Malcolm in the Middle's Chris Matserson) and the two become a team and I become so angry at this direct to video piece of shit that I could breathe fire! This movie is immature!  It's got fire-farting, dragon loogies, and all sorts of lame silliness that this thing looks like a bad episode of Xena!  Sure, gross-out silliness is fine in most movies like The Nutty Professor II or Scary Movie, but this is a sequel to a drama!  How would you like fart jokes in a Godfather sequel!? The effects suck, the story sucks, the acting sucks, in fact, this movie sucks so bad that even light cannot escape it's pull!  This movie is more like a draggin' fart!

Contact: Donner@wcc.net