Space: Behind and Between The Uncalled for Sliders / Star Trek: Voyager Crossover by Jason Donner Part five - Episode title: "A Humongous Hole in Space" [When we last left the crew of the USS Voyager and those perky Sliders, Arturo has fallen in love with Janeway but his love has been unrequited. However, Janeway did confess to Kes that she was attracted to the portly proffesor. Also, Tom Paris is out to win the heart of Wade Welles even though she thinks that he is scum. In addition, Belanna Torres has set her own agenda to steal the slider's timer in an attempt to get home... that is if the Voyager crew can steal it back from the Kazon...] [On the bridge, everyone is ready for the upcoming battle with the Kazon] Kim: I gotta go wee-wee. [Well... almost everyone] Janeway: You should have thought about that before we left. Tuvok, get Quinn Mallory up here! I want to know how dangerous it would be to expose that timer to phaser fire. Tuvok: Aye captain. Bridge to Quinn Mallory. Quinn: Hello? Tuvok: Mr. Mallory, we request your presence on the... Quinn: Hello? Tuvok: Mr. Mallory, press the red blinking button. Quinn: Hello? Hello? Tuvok: The red blinking button! Press it! Quinn: I'm gonna hang up! I'm warning you! Tuvok: Captain, he does not know how to use the comm panels. Janeway: Oh, for goodness... Janeway to Kes. Kes: Yes captain? Janeway: Bring Quinn Mallory to the bridge. Kes: Shall I bring Professor Arturo also? Janeway: I don't want to see that pompus, overweight, egocentric... charming, handsome, jolly, cute... Kes: Captain? Janeway: What was I saying? Oh, yeah! Bring Quinn up here. Tuvok: The Kazon ship is powing their weapons and raising sheilds. Janeway: What? But we're not ready! Kes! Step on it! I don't want to fire at the Kazon until I absolutey sure that we won't... [BAM!!! The Kazon shoot Voayger] -------------------------------------------- COMMERCIAL BREAK... Coming to theaters in the summer of 1998... STAR TREK V: THE FINAL FRONTIER - THE SPECIAL EDITION!!! With newly enhanced visual effects and a few surprises! See the long lost scene were Kirk saves Spock after Spock saves him from falling off El Captian! See the full version of the "Row, Row, Row your Boat" sequence with additional lyrics and dance number! See the lost ending where Kirk realizes that he is god and becomes a star baby! STAR TREK : THE FINAL FRONTIER - THE SPECIAL EDITION!!! See it twice, because Paramount still hasn't made any money off of this monster! ------------------------------ [The Kazon are still shooting Voyager] Kim: Auntie Em! Auntie Em! It's a twister! It's a twister! Paris: Shut up Harry! Chakotay: Captain! We can't wait! We must fight back!!! Janeway: No, too risky. We don't know what the timer will do if it's damaged!!! [WHAM!!! Another hit. Captain Janeway fixes her hair and returns to the center seat] Tuvok: Minor damage and annoyance on all decks. Chakotay: Captain... it's now or never. Janeway: Very well... Mr. Chekov! Chekov: I'm not on this show. Janeway: Right! Mr. Tuvok! Lock weapons on the Kazon ship and fire. Tuvok: Firing! Quinn: [Finally reaching the bridge] NO! WAIT!!! [Voyager blasts a healthy hunk out of the Kazon vessel.] Quinn: You fools! You have no idea what you've done! Kim: Yes we do! We just shot the Kazon. Right Captain? Janeway: That's right sweetheart. Now press the pretty buttons. Quinn: You exposed the timer to electrostatic energy! It's going to open a rift in space! Janeway: So? Quinn: The rift will grow... and grow... and grow... and grow... and grow... and grow... and grow... [Kes smacks the side of his head] until it destroys the entire galaxy! Arturo: And then some. Janeway: Awww, MAN! What are you doing here? Arturo: I had to come... I sensed you needed me. Tuvok: Captain! Apparently, Quinn Mallory was correct! There is a rift forming approximatly 20,000 kilometers off the Kazon's bow. It is expanding. Quinn: See!? Janeway: Shit! I can't do anything right today! Very well, what can we do to save the galaxy? Arturo: We must find the timer, repair it, and leave this universe! Tuvok: Captain... somthing is emerging from the rift. Janeway: The rift? What is it? Tuvok: It's that big swirling thing on the veiwscreen, but that's not the point. There appears to be a small one-manned ship coming out of it. Janeway: Hail them. Tuvok: Impossible captain. The vessel is heavily damaged. Janeway: Lock a tractor beam on it and tow it to the shuttlebay. Tuvok: Done and done. Janeway: Mr. Mallory, you can fix your timer? Right? Quinn: Yes. Janeway: Good, the Kazon ship is damaged and without sheilds. You, Tuvok, Harry, and I will beam over and retrieve it. Tuvok: Uh-uhh. Janeway: What do you mean, "Uh-uhh". Tuvok: Transporters are damaged, we will have to take a shuttle. Janeway: WHATEVER!!! We can all greet the pilot of that ship on the way! [In the shuttlebay, Quinn, Janeway, Tuvok, and Kim observe the strange alien craft] Janeway: What do you make of it Tuvok? Tuvok: I have never seen anything like it. Neelix: Captain, I understand that you are going over to the Kazon vessel? Janeway: Yeah... Neelix: I want to go too. Janeway: What do you think Tuvok? Tuvok: Mr. Neelix could come in handy. Plus, it would be a chance to get rid of Harry and Neelix at once! Janeway: Good point. Mr. Mallory, your job is to fix the timer. Tuvok, you will be our pointman, Harry, you will function as our shuttle pilot, while I will function as captain. Neelix: What's my function? Janeway: I've been wondering that ever since the series started. Tuvok: Captain! Something is emerging from the alien ship! Quinn: Boy, he sure is dressed funny! [Suddenly, the group falls to the ground choking as the dark figure jumps out of his ship!] Darth Vader: I am Darth Vader, the dark lord of Sith! And I am really in a bad mood!!! Uhh oh! Things are just getting wackier by the minute! Will Quinn be able to save the galaxy? Will Janeway get rid of Neelix and Harry? And what's the deal with Darth Vader? What will happen next? What is the secret of Loch Ness? Was Hoover a cross-dresser? How much wood COULD a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck COULD chuck wood? Stay tuned to find out!!! TO BE CONTINUED!!!!