SPACE: BEHIND AND BETWEEN The Only Sliders, Star Trek: Voyager, Star Wars, Alien crossover in existence. (That I know of). Part nine - episode title - "Repossession" or "Look Before You Leap" Escaping from the Kazon with the timer, Janeway, Quinn, Arturo, Neelix, Harry, and Tuvok's shuttle was shot down forcing them all to beam to the Sulaco, a ship made famous in the movie, Aliens and Alien³. On board, Tuvok got the idea of contacting Kes telepathically by mind-melding with Neelix, but not before Harry was brutally attacked by a face-hugger. Back on Voyager, Wade was training with Darth Vader when she heard the news that the shuttle was destroyed. She has become distraught and moody. Q and Rembrandt, in the meantime, are really doing nothing. [In the mess hall, Rembrandt is sitting alone when, all of the sudden, his body is lit up with a strange blue energy. After a bright flash, we see that Rembrandt has been replaced by Dr. Sam Beckett of project Quantum Leap.] Sam: Oh boy... [On the Sulaco] Janeway: Harry's getting worse. Quinn: I didn't think that was possible. Janeway: [ignoring Quinn] You have to start the mind meld with Neelix so the Voyager crew will know we're alive and come looking for us. Tuvok: Very well. [grabs Neelix's head and begins chanting] My mind to your mind... my thoughts to your thoughts... My mind to your mind... my thoughts to your thoughts... My mind to your mind... my thoughts to your thoughts... My mind to your mind... my thoughts to your thoughts... Arturo: What kind of poppycock is pointy-ears up to now? Janeway: It's called a Vulcan Mind Meld. It's where a Vulcan grabs your head and uses your mental abilities to become more aware, enhance memories, or store consciousness. Quinn: Bah? Janeway: They're sending a magic signal to Kes. Quinn: Oh. [Centuries earlier, in a top secret military base in the middle of a dessert] Rembrandt: What the hell is going on? Where the hell am I? Al: Don't be afraid. My name is Al and you are in no danger. Rembrandt: Ok, Al, what happened to Voyager? Al: Voyager? The space probe or that lame time travel show that's on the Sci-Fi channel? Rembrandt: The starship! Al: What's a starship? Rembrandt: It's a big ship in the stars. Al: Oh, you mean a spaceship. Rembrandt: Yes. Al: Gotcha. Tell me, what year is it? Rembrandt: You know, you never realize just how stupid that question is until somebody actually asks you. Al: The year? Rembrandt: 1997. Al: I see. Rembrandt: No wait... it WAS 1997 until the wormhole got all messed up and threw us into the future. Now it's 2372. Al: 2372? Rembrandt: That's right. Al: That's impossible. Rembrandt: No, that outfit's impossible. Al: I've gotta tell Ziggy what's going on and find out what the hell Sam's doing in the future! [Al leaves] Rembrandt: So, I just stay here then? [On the Sulaco] Tuvok: My mind to your mind... my thoughts to your thoughts... My mind to your mind... my thoughts to your thoughts... My mind to your mind... my thoughts to your thoughts... [YAWN] My mind to your mind... my thoughts to your thoughts... Arturo: This is ludicrous! He's been saying that for half an hour! Quinn: We're running out of time. If I'm to fix the timer and close the rift, I'm going to need at least an hour and we have only two hours until we slide! Tuvok: Do you mind? Quinn: I'm sorry Arturo: Sorry. Janeway: Sorry. Neelix: I'm sorry too. Tuvok: Don't be sorry, be quiet! All: I'm sorry! Tuvok: [continuing] My mind to your mind... my thoughts to your thoughts... My mind to your mind... my thoughts to your thoughts... Janeway: besides, if I know Tuvok, he should be getting through to Kes any second now. Kes: Doctor, I think you should check on Ensign Wildman's baby. Doctor: What is it? Kes: It's a little screaming infant with horns on it's head. But that's not important right now. She's speaking in tongues. Doctor: Speaking in tongues? Baby: [head spinning] Team away on shuttle ship alive!!! Wildman: Can you help my baby? My baby needs help! Doctor: My God, woman! Your baby needs an exorcist!!! Baby: [projectile vomits pea soup on the Doctor] Doctor: AHHHHH!!! Computer, deactivate EMH!!! [Doctor vanishes] Kes: Computer, re-active EMH!!! [Doctor re-appears] Doctor: It's possessed!!! Possessed by Satan!!! Kes: [slapping Doctor] GET AHOLD OF YOURSELF!!! Doctor: I'm Ok. Kes, get Chakotay. He's the closest thing to a spiritual expert we have on the ship. Kes: Yes Doctor. Baby: Team ship alive must help!!! Doctor: [to Wildman] Hold me. [Wildman and the Doctor hold onto one another shivering. Meanwhile, in another part of the ship, Dr. Sam Beckett, in the body of Rembrandt Brown, happens upon Darth Vader, Q, and Wade.] Wade: Hi, Rembrandt! Sam: Uh... hi. So, uh... what's going on here? Wade: Darth and Q think that they've figured out how to multiply my force power ten times over! Sam: huh? Vader: It's a simple procedure really, Mr. Brown. You see, I combine my force powers with Wade via this Q fellow here. Q: And I use the combine energies to jump start Wade's force powers! Either that or it will blow out every synapse in her body. It'll be cool to watch either way! Sam: Wanda... Wade: Wade. Sam: Whatever... are you sure you wanna do this? It sounds risky. Wade: Since Quinn died, it's all I have left. Fire me up boys! [Darth and Q join forces and shoot electricity at Wade. Meanwhile, in sickbay] Chakotay: What's this I hear about Wildman's baby being possessed? Doctor: It's the only thing I can think of! It's speaking in tongues, barfing up pea soup... what other proof do you need! Chakotay: Good point! I'll perform an ancient tribal technique for the casting out of demons. Bear with me now. [Chakotay pulls out a baseball bat and smacks the baby across sickbay] AWAY FOUL DEMON!!! AWAY!!! (I'd just like to jump in and say that I, in no way, approve of the smacking of babies with baseball bats as an effective means of exorcising demons. If you think your baby is possessed by a demon, consult your local priest) [Meanwhile, on the Sulaco] Tuvok: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Neelix: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Janeway: What!? What happened!? Tuvok: Mr. Neelix and I had just made contact with someone on Voyager, when we were cast out violently. Quinn: So that's it? We're dead? Tuvok: It would appear so. Arturo: Of all of the stupid, most ill-thought out, blundersome, plans in the world, we had to put our faith in that of a witch doctor!? Quinn: Professor, mind your blood pressure! Arturo: To hell with my blood pressure, you... you... you... YOU...!!! Janeway: Here it comes. Arturo: BLISTERING IDIOTS!!! [In space...] Arturo: [echoing] BLISTERING IDIOTS!!! BLISTERING IDIOTS!!! BLISTERING IDIOTS!!! BLISTERING.... [On Voyager] Wade: Did you hear that? Q: No. Vader: What did you hear? Yoda: It is your friends you hear. Help them you can. Vader: HEY!!! This is MY cameo! Get lost!!! [kick Yoda off the set] Wade: My friends! Rembrandt! Do you know what this means? Sam: uh... Wade: Quinn and the professor are still alive!!! Sam: That was going to be my guess. [In sickbay] Chakotay: Your baby seems to be all right now. Wildman: Thank you. Doctor: ... and the swelling should be gone in a week. Wade: [entering with Sam, Vader, and Q] Commander Chahooty! Chakotay: Chakotay. Wade: Whatever. Listen, I just got a telepathic message from the professor. They are alive and on that scary-looking ship out there! Doctor: Harry too? Wade: Yes, I think so. [Murmurs of disappointment echo through sickbay] Chakotay: So? What do you want me to do? It's too dangerous to mount a rescue with the Kazon sitting out there and God- knows-what coming through that rift! Wade: [with a look of evil] It's not dangerous out there. Chakotay: [in a trance] It's not dangerous out there. Wade: You will mount a rescue. Chakotay: I will mount a rescue. Wade: Get moving! Chakotay: Kes, get Tom Paris and tell him to meet us in the shuttlebay! Wade, you and Rembrandt come with us! Let's rescue our people! Will Janeway, Quinn, Harry, Tuvok, and Arturo be rescued? What will happen to Rembrandt? Will Sam Beckett ever get home? Will Wade be seduced by the dark side? Will Torres steal the timer? Will the Kazon steal the timer? Can Quinn repair the timer and seal the rift? Will the alien face-hugger kill Harry? Why is the sky blue? Who is Darkman? Why ask why? TO BE CONTINUED!!!