Don’t turn left ever again
Washington DC 9:00 am
Mulder and Scully are on their way to a UFO landing sights. Everything is going according to the plan except for the fact that they are in the middle of a traffic jam.
Mulder: Scully, why did we have to go to those UFO landing sights so early in the morning?
Scully: Because, Mulder, we have to be there before Cancer man, Krycek, annoying reporters and that stupid D.F. (Diana Fowly).
Mulder: Who’s D.F.?
Scully: Never mind.
Two hours later. Still in that jam. It’s a big city you know.
Scully: I can’t believe this!
Mulder: Scully, you will believe as soon as you start wanting to believe.
Scully: Oh! I mean, I can’t believe we’re in front of a coffee-chop.
Mulder: Apple juice, please. With three spoons of sugar.
Scully: You still drink that? I thought we had this conversation last week!
Mulder: Sorry.
Scully went to the coffee shop, and quickly came back with a milkshake and an apple juice with three spoons of sugar.
Mulder: Yeah! Mmm… it’s just wright!
Scully: But this is the last time!
Mulder: Ok! (Quietly) Yeah, sure, sucker!
Scully: What was that?
Mulder: Oh, nothing.
After three and half hours they finally got out of that jam.
Scully: Ok, now. Do we turn right or left here?
Mulder: I don’t know. What’s left?
Scully: What!? Just turn left!
Wrong turn. They didn’t see the “DON’T ENTER! MOVIES SHOOTING!” sign. That’s strange because it was nine feet long. Soon, the road turned yellow. No, it was actually a yellow brick road. They ran-over a few Munchkins on their way. But, that ain’t so strange cause they are three feet high.
Scully: Does this seam a little strange to you?
Mulder: Nothing is strange to me, babe.
Scully: What did you say? Did you just call me “babe”?
Mulder: So, what if I did?
Scully: Oh, Mulder that is so…Hay, look! That weird yellow brick road is gone, thank goodness!
They didn’t see the “Blade” sign, either.
Mulder: I think this is it. It’s full of trees and it’s creepy!
Scully: Yeah, I guess you are right. This must be it. Or my name isn’t Judeia Leucapapangalele. And it’s not.
They heard some steps. They hid behind some trees. Blade and a man in the vampire costume appeared.
Blade: Prepare to die, you son of a bitch!
Man in the vampire costume: You’ll die first Blade, man!
Mulder: Go to hell, you creep!
He pulled out a gun and shot the man…Fortunately he missed, and shot the man…’s leg. The man falls on the ground. Alive, thank God.
Blade: Man, are you crazy! Who, the hell, are you anyway?
Mulder: Special Agent Fox Mulder , FBI. This is Special Agent Dana Scully. I just saved your sorry ass from that vampire!
Blade: But, that’s no vampire, man, that’s…
Mulder: Yeah, yeah, I know “ That’s just a harmless vampire, who I was going to kill”. Boo hoo.
Scully: There must be a reasonable explanation for this…
Blade: Yeah, man, listen to the lady. That’s no vampire that’s a …
Mulder: Quit jabbering! Tell us what happened.
Scully: No, Mulder! Nothing happened! That is not a vampire, and these obviously aren’t UFO landing sights!
Mulder: Who cares about that?
Scully: I thought you do!
Blade: Stop, man, … woman! What the hell is wrong with you! Are you crazy, or something! You two are the weirdest couple I have ever seen! You should solve your marriage problems at home!
Mulder: We are not married …yet.
Scully: What was that suppose to mean?!
Blade: Will you all just shut up! I am sick and tired of you two! That man over there is not a vampire! That is a man in a vampire costume! And this is a movie scene!
Mulder and Scully: A MOVIE SCENE!
Blade and the man in the vampire costume: Are you deft or something!? Yes, a movie scene! Didn’t you read the “DON’T ENTER! MOVIES SHOOTING!” sign!?
Mulder: Well, no. I guess we made a wrong turn, ha Scully?
Scully: Sorry if we caused any trouble.
Blade: They are sorry!? Now we have an entire scene to do again!
Mulder and Scully set into the car.
Mulder: Now we have to go back.
Scully: Yeah, and it’s three o’clock already. Cancer man, Krycek, annoying reporters and that stupid D.F. must be on the landing sights by how.
Mulder: Who the hell is D.F.?
Scully: You will never know.
And they drove away into the sunset.
Just don’t ask me what is a sunset doing in 3:00 pm.