Have you ever wanted to travel to parallel worlds just to get away from it all? Do you ever say to yourself, "Seen this Earth - lived there - done that." ? Well, you shouldn't because talking to yourself in this manner is not healthy! But if you are ready to take that next big step into the the amazing world of interdimensional travel, have I got a great deal for you! Yes, now being offered publicly for the first time -- it's...
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The Parallel Earth Sliding Kit
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Comes complete with the following:
* DIGITAL QUARTZ TIMER (batteries not included) - Guaranteed to work with any parallel-Earth sliding equipment, regardless of operating frequency or overall setup.
Disclaimer: On our current models, the user will only be able to stay on any given world for a limited period (usually ranging from a few days to one month) until the next slide. Operator uses at his or her own risk. Failure to slide by the moment the timer reaches ZERO may result in the user(s) being stranded on that Earth for approximately 29 years. Our soon to be released upgrade, which is much more flexible to operate, will be avaiable soon at no additional charge (for trade-ins only).
* COMPLETE INTERDIMENSIONAL EARTHS MAP - The most comprehensive listing to date of 5328 Earths. Which ones to slide to, and the ones to avoid. The dangerous, unruly worlds will appeal to the adventurous risk takers. Survivalists will prefer Ice Age, desert, or post-nuclear worlds. For the overworked but underpaid we suggest the calm vacation spots. There is truly an Earth for everyone!
* TIMER REPAIR KIT - All the tools you'll need should the timer break down or malfunction during your travels. Comes in an attractive velcro carrying belt. Very effective when you are thrust out of a wormhole at 40 mph or more!
* INTER WORLD GOVERNMENT HANDBOOK - Details every Earth's political structure. Democracies, republics, communist and socialist societies, monarchies, anarchies, voodoo, the occult and every other type of society is full chronicled for 5328 worlds. Also includes a capsulized history of each world. All countries are taken into account. The size of a big city phonebook, we recommend you put this one in a backpack with your clothes and other personal items!
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On several dozen of these worlds, a highly evolved race of humans have been encountered.
They are known as the Kromaggs. These species are dangerous and pose a threat to every
Earth they slide to in the interdimensional spectrum. Although the Kromagg ships have not
yet attacked our world, our Pentagon (in cooperation with military forces on other
Earths) have deployed Air Force personnel to slide to those worlds under attack to
seek and destroy these creatures. We strongly suggest that you protect yourself and your
travelling companions with the appropriate firearms....
FREE BONUS if you order in the next 10 days!
* THREE (3) FULLY FUNCTIONAL TMS2493 LASER PISTOLS - The ultimate handgun for defending your life, these weapons are approved by all governments on this world as well as the NRA. The TMS2493 operates with a heating circuit, corresponding laser sensor and semi-automatic recoil. Comes with rechargeable nickel cadnium battery pack, which plugs into any standard 120 volt wall socket.
Disclaimer: Owner must possess a valid and legal gun license, which will be honored on many Earths. In the United States, the Brady Bill requires us to adhere to this law.
Regular price --- $5,924,804
Your price ------ $638,098.99 (includes postage and handling)
Send check or money order (Sorry, no CODs to):
EARTH PRIME SLIDING INSTITUTE
c/o Quinn Mallory or Professor Maximillian Arturo
8314 Wilshire Boulevard
Los Angeles, CA 90048
This advertisement paid for by:
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