NO JELLO
by Diana R. Flynn / Darkflurb / that kid with the mayo jar

I got the idea for this story while walking home in April of 1997. I think I was on an oxygen high, a sugar high, and car exhaust that day...

STOP! DON'T SUE!
Quinn, Wade, Remmy and Maggie don't belong to me, yet I'm writing this little story anyway. I in no way wish to take the blame- uh, I mean the credit for creating them. PTB, please consider this a tribute! Jello belongs to whoever came up with the idea to make a dessert food that bounces, but yogurt is for everyone.

This story has a PG rating for really really mild violence and one nasty word that's bleeped out anyway. Please don't make fun of me.

...Oh, and it's been called the most twisted thing I've ever written.

Remmy, Maggie, and Quinn are in the restaurant of their hotel,
looking at a menu.

REMMY:  And I thought people in the last world were
	controlfreaky!  These hotels make you order all your meals
	in advance!
QBALL:  To simplify things, I think we should choose the same
	dessert for each meal.
MAGGIE: Alright.  The Jello looks good.
QBALL:  Jello?!  I wouldn't touch that slimy goop if I was
	starving.  Let's go with the yogurt.  I love yogurt.
REMMY:  You know, Wade was telling me this morning how yogurt
	used to be one of her favorite foods.
QBALL:  She was?  I'll run upstairs and ask for her vote. 

In the meantime, up in the hotel room:

WADE: Wade, you can't go on like this!  All the mooning over
	Quinn!  All the snags with Maggie!  All the talking to
	yourself!

Enter Quinn.

WADE:  Oh, uh... Hi Quinn.  I was just thinking about a, uh,
	delemma that concerns you.
QBALL:  I know.  I was just up here to talk to you about that.
WADE:  You were?
QBALL:  Yeah.  Rembrandt told me how you feel.
WADE:  He _what?!_  I can't believe it!  I mean it wasn't
	exactly a secret, but I wanted to tell you myself!
QBALL:  Wade!  Relax!  I feel the same way.
WADE:  ...you do?
QBALL:  I always have.
WADE:   But I thought you and Maggie...
QBALL:  Maggie and I are just too different on a lot of things. 
	I'm sorry, Wade, but I can't help loving yog-
WADE:  Quinn!  I love you too! (jumps up and plants a smooch on
	his lips)

Enter Rembrant

REMMY:  Whoa!  Somebody lose a pair of tonsils?
WADE:  Oops!  Sorry, Remmy.  I guess we should have locked the
	door.  See you, Quinn (exits with big smile.)
QBALL:  (blinking) What just happened?
REMMY:  You think I know?  I guess Wade takes her desserts more
	seriously than we thought.

Enter Maggie.

MAGGIE: HIYAH! (Slugs Quinn in the jaw)
REMMY:  Hey!  Hold it, girl!
MAGGIE: (Not hearing him.) That was for what you said about
	Jello! 
QBALL:  (Semiconscious gurgle)
MAGGIE:  I happen to know that Jello is... (pauses, staring at
	her hand) WHY is Wade's lipstick on my fist?!
REMMY:  Could be from when you hit her this morning when she
	wouldn't stop calling you, "Ramboette."
QBALL:  Look at all the pretty lights...
MAGGIE: You lying son of a b----!  You told me that you and
	Wade were just friends!
QBALL:  (Regaining partial consciousness) Oh no.  You're going
	to pound me to a bloody pulp now, aren't you?
MAGGIE: Don't try to sweet-talk your way out of this!  
QBALL:  No, really!  I can explain!  I-
MAGGIE: Did you think I wouldn't find out?!  YOU'VE BEEN TRYING
	ON WADE'S LIPSTICK!
QBALL:  Um... (seeing temporary alternative to life as a gory
	bean bag) yes. Yes I was.  And I'm so ashamed!  Do you
	think this shade is too dark for me?
REMMY:  That's it.  I'm out of here.  Call me when I stop
	hallucinating. (Exits.)
MAGGIE: Actually, it looks rather good with your complexion,
	but the matte finish just isn't you.  Have you tried
	"smoky coral"?
QBALL:  Maybe later.  I think I'll pass out now.
MAGGIE: Okay.  I'll go find some locals to beat up.  Catch ya
	later.
QBALL:  Great!  Why don't the four of us go out for Jello?
	(faints)
MAGGIE: (exits)

THE END

No Jello was harmed in the making of this skit.

So what did you think? Please send any criticism, comments, death threats or money to 53d@prodigy.com.

-Darkflurb