The Return of Samantha By: PJKule Email: ptlpjohnson@aol.com Disclaimer: My idea! Characters and X-Files stuff belongs to Chris Carter but it's my idea! Mine! Bwahahahahahahahahahaha! This was the result of a late night of too much sugar and a tape recorder. This story was orginallly recorded onto a blank tape and played on high speed. It was funny then, but we later decided to type it up into a short parody story. I thought it was still funny enough to share. The idea that started it all: Hey, I know what we can do! We can do the Mulder and Scully thing! Mulder: The truth is out there, Scully. Scully: I dont' know, Mulder, there must be some scientifical explanatioin to explain all of this. Mulder: Oh can it with those theories, bitch! There really aren't any, ok?! So leave me alone! Oh, jeez, my sister was abducted, why can't you agree with me on that?! Scully: Um, 'cause maybe she's... 'cause maybe I'm waiting to get into the bathroom after her? Mulder: Oh, yes, oh sure... [Samantha Mulder enters from bathroom] Sam: Hello, I'm back, Fox! Just had a little problem with the shower. I wasn't abducted by aliens, where'd you get that cockemamie theory?! Mulder: But you were gone for 30 years! Sam: 30 years?! Oh, I'd say about 30 munutes but not 30 years!!! I just had a little problem with the shower, that was all. Mulder: Ok, then why are there those special markings on your forehead? Sam: Oh those? Oh, that's just an imprint from when I slipped! Mulder: The aliens have brainwashed you! You're not my sister! Sam [In an evil, hoarse, menacing, demonic voice]: NO I'M NOT....ROAR!!!!!!!!!! Mulder: AH! Stay away from me! [shoots gun at her three times] Scully: Mulder, no! That really was your sister! She had something caught in her throat! Mulder: Oh jeez, Oh boy.... [Mulder's father enters] Father: Son... Mulder... er... Fox! What did you do to your sister?! Oh my God you shot her! She was in the shower you moron! You ninny! You were always the family disappointment, you were always the blacksheep of thefamily... alien conspiracies!... jeez you just can't shut up! Mulder: Oh my God... [X-Files theme song plays on a kazoo] The Truth is Out There! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! And the lesson that you should have learned from that is: Mulder: The truth is really in my pants (giggles)