A Starfleet Captain Might Be Considered A Redneck If................

01)- Your shuttlecraft has been up on blocks for over a month.
02)- He paints flames and a NRA sticker on the warp nacelles.
03)- You have a shuttle called "Billy Joe Bob."
04)- He refers to any intelligent alien race as "critters."
05)- He refers to Photon Torpedoes as "Popguns."
06)- He has the sensor array repaired with a bent coat hanger and
aluminum foil.
07)- He installs a set of bullhorns on the front of the saucer section.
08)- He says "Get your ears on, good buddy" instead of "open hailing
frequencies."
09)- He hangs fuzzy dice over the viewscreen.
10)- He rewires his communicator into his belt buckle.
11)- He keeps a six-pack under his command chair and a gun rack above it.
12)- He says "Yea Haw! Let's get this puppy movin!!!" instead of
"Engage."
13)- He has a hand-tooled holster for his phaser.
14)- He insists on calling his executive officer "Bubba."
15)- He sets the fore viewscreen to reruns of "Bassmaster."
16)- He programs the food replicator for beer, ribs, and turnip greens.
17)- He paints the starship John Deere green with racing stripes.
18)- He refers to a Pulsar as a "Blue Light Special."
19)- He refers to the Mutara Nebula as a "swamp."
20)- His moonshine is stronger than Romulan Ale.
21)- He sings "Lucille" instead of "Kathleen".
22)- His idea of dress uniform is CLEAN bib overalls.
23)- He wears mirrored shades on the Bridge.
24)- His idea of a "gas giant" is that big ol' XO Bubba after a meal of
beans and weenies.
25)- He sets phaser to "Cajun."
26)- He has ordered the Chief Engineer to dig out the jumper cables.
27)- The warp reactor is coated in duct tape, Bondo, and Super-Glu.
28)- He orders the Sickbay to carry castor oil and turpentine.
29)- He lights his cigarettes with his phaser.
30)- He keeps livestock in the cargo bay.
31)- He refers to the Kobiyashi Maru test as "the best target practice I
ever had." 
32)- He orders the ship into time warp so he can have another go at the
"Tuesday Night All-You-Can-Eat Ribs" buffet.
33)- The ship, all the shuttlecraft, and the ship's mascot are all named
after his favorite movie actresses.