THAT’S MY HARRY!

[Parody of That’s My Bush]

Imagine an odd situation where the crew of Voyager happens to travel back in time during election period 2000! Now imagine that Harry and Tom run a campaign and win! What would that be like? Well for all of you who have wondered....Here’s what would happen!

THAT’S MY HARRY IS FILMED IN FRONT OF A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE!

[Harry is walking around in the main hall trying to get the TV to work]

Harry: I think this damn thing is broken!

Janeway: Try the power button genius [Is dressed as the maid]

Harry: oh there we go [Sits down and starts to watch the Powerpuff Girls] WOOO LOOK AT THEM GO!

Janeway: Just what we needed...a president who watches a little girls empowerment show!

Harry: Do you think we can invite them to the white house one day?

[Chakotay opens the front door]

Chakotay: hey Harry it’s your favorite Neighbor! [Audience: WOOOOOOOOOOOO!] Say Harry...Can I borrow a Borgdu?

Harry: What’s a Borgdu?

Chakotay: It assimilates! [Laughs...so does the audience] So why do you look so down?

Harry: Cause I can’t invite the Powerpuff girls to the white house for dinner...

Janeway: It’s an American tragedy! [Continues to clean] Harry why do I have to be the maid?

Harry: CAUSE I’M THE PRESIDENT!

Chakotay: Well it just so happens I am good friends with Blossom, Buttercup, and Bubbles...

Harry: REALLY?

Chakotay: Yeah I’ll talk to them and have them over here for dinner before you can say Caffeine Freak!

Harry: What’s a Caffeine Freak?

Chakotay: Janeway [Audience laughs]

~ Commercial Break ~

[In the Oval office]

Tom: come on Harry do you think it’s such a good idea to have destructive little children in the white house?

Harry: Don’t talk about the Powerpuff girls that way...

Tom: I was talking about Naomi [Naomi is sitting at a desk in the room rewiring the white house security system] [Seven of Nine walks in wearing a Mini Skirt, knee high boots and a tank top] [Audience: WOOOOOOOOO!]

Seven: I’m here now Mr. President!

Harry: Very good...did you write down my dinner date with the Powerpuff girls?

Seven: I will as soon as I get the go ahead call from Chuck!

Janeway: why is everyone calling him Chuck? His name is Chakotay!

Harry: Why is the maid in here?

Tom: I don’t know...SHOO! SHOO JANEWAY!

Janeway: up yours with a wooden spoon [She walks out]

Tom: That might be nice...[Pauses to think about it] Any ways...What do you plan on having when the girls arrive? Do you want a 7 course meal or do you want to order pizza?

Harry: Pizza

Seven: 7 course meal it is....

Harry: Then why did you ask me if I wanted pizza?

Tom: Cause I love seeing that look on your face when you think that you are going to get what ever you want cause you are the president! [Seven and Tom Laugh]

Harry: I don’t think that’s very funny!

Tom: Yeah but you think that Donnie Osmond is so what does that tell us?

Harry: That I’m a wiener?

Seven: Correct! I mean...What was I talking about again? [Takes her Memory pills which are actually MAMMARY ENHANCERS]

Tom: Sit down before you hurt your self...Now Hare... when the girls are visiting you are going to arrest the 100^th drug criminal...Bring her in!

[B’Elanna walks in wearing some sort of retro 80’s Madonna outfit]

B’Elanna: how’s it hanging every one? [She has sparkles all around her eyes and she has fairy wings on]

Tom: B’Elanna didn’t I tell you not to get involved with the drug dealers?

B’Elanna: But it’s so EASY! [Walks out the door] Hey you! [She yells to some one who is walking down the street in a business suit]

Guy: Yeah?

B’Elanna: Let me get a dime bag...

Guy: No Problem [He heads over to her] [Harry walks outside]

Harry: No! Go away! SHOO! [The guy runs off]

B’Elanna: Damn it Harry!

Tom: Well Lock her up until the party tonight and take her drugs!

[Harry takes the drugs from B’Elanna and puts one of her pills in his mouth]

Tom: NO! SPIT THAT OUT! [Harry spits it out]

Harry: you said to take it!

Tom: How did you wind up president again?

Harry: My daddy rigged the elections! [Smiles proudly]

Tom: You know that doesn’t make any sense what so ever...but I’m not even gonna try to fix it.

Harry: Damn Skippy [Puts the bottle of pills in his pocket] [Seven runs in]

Seven: The Power Puff girls have arrived! [Audience: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!]

Tom: Lets go meet them

~ Commercial Break ~

[Bubbles, Buttercup, and Blossom are floating around in the dining room] [Harry walks in]

Bubbles: YAY! IT”S THE PRESIDENT! Will you sign my autograph book? [Pulls out her pink laced autograph book]

Harry: Only if you sign mine Bubbles [They both laugh]

Janeway: Oh dear lord!

Tom: you’re telling me!

[Seven is doing Blossom’s hair and all though B’Elanna is in a cage she is learning fighting tips from a vivacious Buttercup]

B’Elanna: Is this cage really necessary?

Harry: YES IT IS! [Blossom and Bubbles decorate the cage with frilly pink and blue objects]

Bubbles: If you are scared, then hold this [Hands her “OCTY” the octopus]

B’Elanna: Thanks I feel much better all ready [Sighs and puts the octopus on her lap] [She watches the dinner going on around her] Fun...fun...fun!

Harry: Boy do I EVER have a bad head ache! [Reaches into his pocket and takes the pills B’Elanna had because he thinks they are aspirin] [Audience: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO]

Seven: Here’s your aspirin Mr. President [Pulls it out from her humongous cleavage] [Audience: WOOOOOOOOO!]

Harry: But I just took some ass... Uh Oh

Janeway: Uh oh is right! Hey you pass the fried snails [Bubbles hands her the fried snails] That’s what I’m talking about [Dips them in marinara sauce]

Tom: YOU ARE NOT HELPING!

Janeway: I KNOW! [finishes off the snails, and starts to eat the octopus]

Harry: Oh god...B’Elanna what do I do? I have a state of the union address in an hour!

B’Elanna: You gotta puke man! PUKE!

Harry: How do I do that? [All jittery and whiny]

B’Elanna: Never had to force my self to do it before...ask Seven I’m sure she knows how...

Seven: Of course just take your finger and...HEY WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?

B’Elanna: oh Nothing...but do you really wanna challenge a Klingon who just took 6 hits of acid?

Seven: GOD DAMNIT! [Storms off]

Harry: now what do I do?

Janeway: Pray for the country

Harry: Will you stop second guessing me?

Janeway: No way! [Building a model of Voyager out of her mashed potatoes]

Chakotay: Hey Harry It’s your Favorite NEIGHBOR!

Tom: We are in the dining room! How did you know we were hear?

Chakotay: Well I heard Harry whining and the chomping of your maid’s jaws and I put two and two together! [Audience laughter]

Janeway: Shut up! I’ve seen you stuff your face a few times Chakotay!

Chakotay: I DO NOT! [Sits down and inhales a whole turkey]

Bubbles: HEY! I wanted a piece of that! [Starts crying]

B’Elanna: If you let me out I’ll go kill you another one with my bare hands! [Laughs maniacally]

Buttercup: I don’t think so...How about I just go steal one from a restaurant?

Blossom: Don’t say that in front of the president! Make sure he’s out of the room first!

Buttercup: RIGHT!

Harry: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Pretty flowers [Goes and picks the flowers in the window box and smells them]

Janeway: Awe isn’t that sickening? [Harry starts to eat the flowers]

Harry: these don’t taste so good [He spits them out] OOO a Banana! [Heads out of the Dining room]

Blossom: well this party SUCKS! We’re out of here! [They crash through the wall as they fly out and leave]

Tom: Damn it! there goes out publicity! Now what the hell are we going to do?

Seven: I could jump up and down in a wet T-shirt!

Tom: Good Idea Seven you do that [Runs out after Harry] [Runs right into B’Elanna who is on the white house phone]

B’Elanna: Hey there Tommy Boy!

Tom: What the...How in the...

B’Elanna: Harry let me out when I told him I would grant him 3 wishes....[Talks on the phone for a moment] Yeah my rave buddies should be here any moment!

Tom: Rave Buddies?

B’Elanna: Yeah! [starts blowing bubbles] WOOOOOOO!

Harry: LETS GET THIS PARTY STARTED!

[Some camera Men from news channels Move in for the 100^th drug arrest]

Harry: Who let them in here?

Tom: White house security! Mr. President what is your problem?

Harry: WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! [Starts flapping his arms like a bird]

Tom: what exactly did he take?

B’Elanna: Something I made up in engineering...it’s an acid-Ecxtasy hybrid mix all in one simple pill! I call it...ASSTASY!

Janeway: WOW! That’s ingenious! How much is it per pill?

B’Elanna: 50 per pill...I’ve already made 10,000! And at this Rave tonight I should make a ton more...

Janeway: Wanna let me in on the cut...I pass some out...get some money...we’re all happy...

Tom: NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! B’Elanna get back in your cage!

B’Elanna: What ever man [Heads into the kitchen to get some munchies]

Tom: HOW COME NO ONE WANTS TO LISTEN TO ME?

Janeway: WAIT UP! [Follows B’Elanna]

Harry: Woo what does this button do? [Presses a button on the side of the camera and a strobe light goes on] WOOO!

[Starts doing the monkey, a bunch of Ravers pile into the main hall] [They set up a DJ system and huge speakers and starts playing music] [a bubble machine pumps bubbles into the room] [A disco ball spins from the top of each speaker]

Tom: This Can’t be good...

~ Commercial Break ~

[In the kitchen, B’Elanna is dividing up pills between her and the Maid]

Janeway: So I get 50 percent of what ever I sell? [Puts her pills into a bottle] Where’s my Huka?

B’Elanna: you got us some preemo weed?

Janeway: hell yeah how do you think I stay so calm on the bridge?

Dave Chapelle: Oh yeah

Janeway: wrong Set but you can stay if you want!

Jim Bruer: Woah Dude [Grabs a bag of chips and walks off]

[Back in the main Hall]

Tom: what Am I going to do? Am I the only SANE person in this who SHOW?

Seven: I’m here now...

Tom: are you Sober?

Seven: Yeah....

Tom: Then Come with me...We have to find the script and rewrite it before it’s too late!

Seven: RIGHT!

[They go into the oval office and start tearing everything thing apart]

[In the main hall]

Crowd: GO HARRY! GO HARRY! GO HARRY! GO HARRY!

[Harry is dancing around with fairy wings and goggles on]

Raver 1: Now this is what I’m talking about!

Raver 2: Lets never go home!

Janeway: ASSTASY! GET YOUR ASSTASY HERE! [She sells 4 pills] Oh YEAH!

[Oval office]

Tom: I found it! [They are surround by piles of junk they have ripped out of the desk including a blow up doll, and action figures of the Voyager crew]

Seven: What do we Do?

Tom: I know What to do! [Opens to the ending and rips those pages out of the back] [Everything in the main hall freezes] There we go...Okay now to re-write the last few pages and staple them back in...before any one sees the frozen rave in the main hall

[Back in the main hall]

[Harry is paused with one eye open and a finger up his nose digging for gold]

[Oval Office 15 minutes later]

Tom: GREAT! Now all I have to do is staple these pages in the back of the script [He staples them in] [There is a big flash and Q appears]

Q: Do you really think that it’s right to mess with the destiny of these people with out the help of Moi?

Tom: Q!

Seven: R! [Tom Elbows her] I MEAN Q!

Q: yes we already established that [Takes the script] let me help you with that...Now [Snaps] Follow me into the Main Hall...[Tom and Seven walk into the main hall behind Q] [All the Ravers are gone...The main Crew, Harry, B’Elanna, Chakotay, And Janeway are all sitting around the table, In frilly pink dresses, sipping tea and nibbling on cookies]

Tom: Not exactly what I had in mind but it’s better the alternative....

Seven: Yeah...what’s alternative mean?

Q: it mean’s...DANCE JUGGIES! [All the Juggies from the Man Show appear and start dancing on poles]

Tom: OOOO GOD! One of these Days Q...I’m gonna KICK YOU IN THE NUTS!

[Audience Laughs]

NOTE: THESE CHARACTERS ARE NOT MINE BUT I LOVE TO MAKE FUN OF THEM! AND THAT’S MY BUSH IS A WONDERFUL SHOW! I LOVE IT...BUT NOT MORE THEN THE MAN SHOW...Thanks! -Aileen McKay