4th Season
----------

The Best of Both Worlds II
The Enterprise arrives late at Pearl Harbor 359. The Federation wins WWII when Data tells the Japanese to take a nap.

Family Ties
Picard's brother gives him a long-deserved butt-kicking.

Brothers
Data's neural net goes awry forcing him to act like three different people at once.

Suddenly Human
The Enterprise accidentally beams Pinocchio on board just after he had become a little human boy. After seeing Data, he decides he would rather go back to being a little wooden puppet.

I Remember You, and You, and You...
Beverly suddenly finds that she is no longer in Kansas but rather in a magical place where Picard, Data, and Worf look suspiciously like a scare- crow, a tin man, and a cowardly lion. (Beverly: "Oh, Auntie Em, there's no place like home, there's no place like home...")

Legacy
Tasha Yar's sister Ashara comes on board the Enterprise and picks up with Data where Tasha left off.

Reunion
A woman Worf once met on Risa shows up on the Enterprise with a young boy and inexplicably keeps on referring to Worf as Captain Kirk.

Future Unchanged
Riker wakes up sixteen years into the future and discovers he's still just the First Officer of the Enterprise. (The more things change...)

Final Mission
Wesley accidentally stumbles onto a water fountain and saves the Enterprise for the 147th consecutive episode.

The Loss
Riker throws Troi out of his quarters when he discovers that a being of limited intelligence has robbed her of much more than just her telepathic powers.

Data's Day
Data reads the poem "Ode to Spot" 2,647 times.

The Wounded
O'Brien sings. He is immediately transferred to Deep Space Nine.

Deviled Eggs
The Enterprise throws a big dinner-on-the-grounds party during shore leave. Worf beats up Data over who will be first in line to get the deviled eggs with the green olive slices on them.

Clue
Mrs. Peabody did it with the candlestick in the Laboratory.

First Contact
The Enterprise goes back in time to keep the Borg from assimilating all of Earth, no wait..., that was the movie.

Galaxy's Child
The entire Milky Way Galaxy shows up on the Enterprise with a young boy and inexplicably keeps on referring to Worf as Captain Kirk.

Night Gallery
Rod Serling narrates this tale about the Enterprise crew that guest stars in a Twilight Zone episode.

Identity Crisis
Geordi thinks he's Little Red Riding Hood.

The Nth Degree
Barclay tries to buy a vowel.

Qpid
Indiana Jean returns as Picard's girl friend, but Q steals her away after Picard can't figure out how to correctly play the part of Ward Cleaver.

The Drumheads
The Enterprise crew finally learns how Klingons' heads came to look the way they do now as compared to TOS.

Half a Brain
Major Winchester shows up on the Enterprise and explains why Frank Burns was such an idiot.

The Host
Riker agrees to allow Monty Hall to inhabit his body. He then makes the crew try to guess what is behind Shuttlebay door number 1, Shuttlebay door number 2, and Shuttlebay door number 3.

The Mind's Eye
Geordi still thinks he's Little Red Riding Hood. (Geordi: "Oh my, Mr. Worf, what a big head you have!")

Theoretically, It's Possible
Spock finally falls in love with Nurse Chapel.

Redemption I
Tasha Yar returns to the Enterprise and picks up with Data where her sister Ashara left off.

5th Season
----------

Redemption II
Data gets his first opportunity to command a starship and promptly tugs at his shirt and utters the terms "Make it so" and "Engage" 47 times on his first day.

Darmok
Darmok and Jalad at Tinagra. Darmok and Picard at El Adrel. Darmok and Counselor Troi at Risa. Boy, this Darmok guy really gets around!

Ensign Ro
Ensign Ro Laren comes on board the Enterprise for the sole purpose of introducing a new life form so they can spin off Star Trek: Deep Space Nine.

Silicon Avatar
A mother with a personal agenda kills an overgrown icicle in space. Mean- while, Data speaks in tongues.

Disaster Epic
The Enterprise crew spends the entire episode watching reruns of all those old disaster movies from the '70s.

The Game
Wesley gets an integer overflow error when he exceeds 32,767 points in Tetris.

Unification I
Picard and his crew participate in their own version of "The Search for Spock."

Unification II
Dr. McCoy regrets missing the long-awaited conversation between his two favorite eggheads--Spock and Data.

A Matter of the Real Thing
Max Headroom comes on board the Enterprise and tries to install a Coca-Cola vending machine in 10-Forward.

New Ground
Worf's son Alexander returns to the Enterprise to live, but continues to inexplicably refer to his dad as Captain Kirk.

Hero Worship
All male Star Trek fans decide to keep watching NFL football instead as the producers show their 5th obligatory once-a-year episode written for all the women and children to cry over.

Violations
This episode is rated R. No one under 17 will be admitted without a parent.

The Masterpiece Society
A bunch of people who don't know how good they have it decide they don't like living perfect lives any more.

Conundrum
The Enterprise crew suddenly lose all memory of their personal identities and decide they must be cast members from M*A*S*H.

Power Play
Data, Troi, and O'Brien go berserk and spend the entire episode firing phasers at the patrons in 10-Forward. Meanwhile, Geordi tries to figure out why the alarm suddenly quit working that Valeris said prevents un- authorized firing of a phaser on a starship.

Ethics
Worf tries to commit suicide after injuring his back falling out of bed.

The Outcast
Riker spends the entire episode talking to the blandest woman ever to appear as a guest star on the show.

Cause and Effect
The senior staff fall asleep as Picard conducts the same boring staff meeting over and over again for 17 days.

The First Duty
Wesley gets expelled from Starfleet Academy for trampling on Boothby's meticulously manicured grounds. (He just can't stay out of flower beds on any planet, can he?)

Cost of Dying
The writers have so many plot ideas that they will never be able to use them all in their own episode before the season is over, so they cram them all into one.

The Perfect Mate
Picard blows it. What an idiot!

Imaginary Friend
Elwood P. Dowd comes on board the Enterprise and introduces the crew to his friend "Harvey."

I, Borg
Similar to "I, Mudd" from TOS, except the robot's name is Hugh instead of Norman, there's no Zelda, and they left out the "I am lying" gag.

The Next Deck
Geordi and Ro try to figure out why they can suddenly pass through walls, but don't fall through floors.

The Inner Light
Picard finds himself living the life of another man. Unfortunately, it is that of Groucho Marx. (Groucho: "I remember the time I went to Philadel- phia, but it was closed. You bet your life!")

Time's Arrow I
Data goes back in time and rewrites Tony Bennett's song--"I Left my Head in San Francisco."

6th Season
----------

Time's Arrow II
Mark Twain visits the 24th century and decides to go back to his own time and write a book called "Tom Sawyer" based on the exploits of Mr. Worf.

Realm of Fear
Barclay reveals he has a morbid fear of the replicators.

Man of the People
John F. Kennedy visits the Enterprise.

Relics
Scotty comes on board the Enterprise of the 24th century, but when he programs the holodeck to reproduce the bridge of the 23rd century Enter- prise, he goes in and finds Kirk and Yeoman Rand beat him to it.

Schisms
The Enterprise crew awaken to discover that some alien attacked them in the middle of the night and interchanged all their arms and legs and hands and feet.

True Q
John DeLancie gets tired of being out of work so he convinces Paramount to let him return for another show to earn some spending money for Christmas.

Rascals
A transporter accident turns Picard into a 13-year old boy. Unfortunately, that means it will be at least 5 years before he's old enough to visit Beverly in her quarters again!

A Fistful of Datas
One's enough, for crying out loud! I mean, how many do we really need?

The Quality of Life
Data gives birth to triplets.

Chain of Command I
Picard is relieved of duty as captain of the Enterprise and given command of the S.S. Minnow instead.

Chain of Command II
The new captain of the Enterprise angers the male crew members when he makes Counselor Troi get dressed. Meanwhile, the senior officers fail in their attempt to teach the new guy how to say "Make it so."

Time in a Bottle
Cat Stevens gives a concert aboard the Enterprise.

Aquiel
The writers decide its time for Geordi to fall in love again--with another loser--again.

Face of the Enemy
Troi passes out when she wakes up with the face of Worf.

Tapestry
Picard is demoted to Ensign.

Birthright I
Esau sells his birthright to Jacob for some stew.

Birthright II
Jacob deceives his father into giving him Esau's blessing as well.

This Starship Is Mine
Picard kills Tuvok before he can even report for duty on Voyager.

Lessons
Picard takes piano lessons from a cutie from Stellar Cartography. But having lessons in a Jeffries Tube is a little weird.

The Chase
Picard learns that every life form in the universe is related to each other and are descended from wart hogs. They throw a big party and all sing "Hakuna Matata."

Frame of Mind
Riker discovers he's insane. (Everyone else already knew it.)

Suspicions
Beverly Crusher loses her job for spending too much time talking to Guinan.

Rightful Heir
Worf witnesses the prophesied return of General Douglas MacArthur.

Second Chances
Riker discovers a duplicate of himself unknowingly created by a transporter accident eight years before. This significanly saves on having to pay a guest star.

Timescape
Data pauses while talking in mid-sentence--frozen in time. Nobody notices.

Descent I
Data finally gets emotions. He promptly leaves the Enterprise to pursue a career as a rock singer.

7th Season
----------

Descent II
Data returns to the Enterprise when he discovers Lore is a better singer than him. (Lore: "You say toMAYto, I say toMAHto. You say poTATto, I say poTAHto.")

Liaisons
Some woman comes on to Picard. He blows it again. Still an idiot!

Interface
Geordi and Data connect their brains using Windows 98 and Microsoft Dial-up Networking. Data has to reboot after getting a "General Protection Fault" error.

Gambit I
Picard is believed to be dead. But he really just ran away to join the French Foreign Legion.

Gambit II
Riker hires Beau Geste to convince Picard to return to the Enterprise.

Phantom Menaces
Young Anakin stabs Counselor Troi in the shoulder.

Yellow Pages
Troi calls a shrink to find out why Gene's wife is acting even weirder than usual.

Attached
Picard and Crusher are attached at...wait, don't even go there!

The Call of Nature
The toilets on the Enterprise stop functioning and the crew has to hurry and find a McDonald's to stop at.

Inheritance
Data discovers his "father" left him 47 million bars of latinum in his will.

Parallels
To celebrate his birthday, Worf rips a hole in the space-time continuum and invites the entire crew of 47 trillion different Enterprise's to the party.

The Pegasus
The Enterprise encounters a flying white horse.

Homeward Bound
Shadow, Chance, and Sassy try to find their humans after getting separated in San Francisco. (Michael Dorn guest stars as himself.)

Sub Par
Beverly makes love to a ghost--which is a little kinky if you ask me.

Lower Decks
The drive section secedes from the Enterprise and goes off to start its own starship.

Thine Own Self
Data introduces a peaceful culture to the Bubonic plague.

Masks
Data does his imitation of Jim Carey. (Data: "Ssssssmokinnnnnnnnn'!")

Eye of a Needle
is what Troi tries to shove Worf through when she catches him with another woman.

Leviticus
The entire Enterprise crew morph into Wookies and spend the whole episode chasing Lando Calrissian around the ship.

Journey's End
The Voyager returns to Earth in the year 1996 to try to determine why the writers wrote such a stupid ending to the Wesley Crusher character.

Firstborn
Some adult Klingon from the future returns and claims to be Worf's son Alexander, now grown. This guy still inexplicably refers to his dad as Captain Kirk.

Bloodlines
That same dumb Ferengus is still trying to give Picard a headache.

Emergence
The Enterprise gives birth to a baby. The entire crew starts looking for Captain Kirk.

Pre-emptive Strike
Ro returns to the Enterprise for the sole purpose of introducing a new group of malcontents so they can spin off Star Trek: Voyager.

All Good Things Must Come to an End
And none too soon, either. Q shows Picard that he is responsible for the cancellation of ST:TNG by sending him back in time to Earth and showing him how he accidentally killed Gene Roddenberry in the year 1964.